Leaf Shinobi: a Web Show
by destiny-KW
Summary: team 7 gets bored, so they decide to make a web show. read to see what humor ensues! if you read Operation Christmas Miracle first, then you'll be filled in with some stuff. R&R!Slight pairings: sakuXsasu kibaXhina nejiXten inoXshika
1. Chapter 1: Introduction

Leaf Shinobi

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hi, K-chan here. welcome to the show…….i think.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

oh yeah, it would help you just a little to read my previous story, Operation Christmas Miracle to understand some of this…..actually, most of this……team 7 is 18 now.

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Sasuke glanced around him aimlessly. once again, he was the first one at the bridge, just like the olden days. after what seemed like days, Sakura finally came. Sasuke then jumped off his tree. "morning." he said. "hi." Sakura replied. it was now February, and they had been dating for 2 months. within a moment, Naruto ran up and yelled, "HI SAKURA-CHAN!! HI TEME!" Sakura and Sasuke sweatdropped. "….." "hello……." they replied. "so, wassup?" Naruto asked, acting very hyper at 6 AM in the morning. "nothing." Sasuke stated. the group was in total boredom.

3 hours later……..

"Kakashi's never gonna come…" Sakura sighed. "I'M BORED!" Naruto yelled. "who isn't?" Sasuke inquired though gritted teeth. minutes passed. out of the blue, Sasuke suggested, "do you guys want to make a web show?" "that's a great idea!" Sakura yelled. "I mean, Kakashi's not gonna come anytime soon."

at Sasuke's house……..

the three teens were busy re-arranging stuff in Sasuke's room. the 3 web cams were hooked up to the laptop, and there were 3 mikes that Sakura brought in standing around the room. "what should we call the show?" Naruto asked. "good point." Sasuke said. "um…..what about Sakura-chan, Teme, and Me?" Naruto suggested. "HELL NO!" Sakura yelled. Sasuke just shook his head sadly. "that was the stupidest idea I have heard from you in my entire life." Sasuke stated flatly. "what about Leaf Shinobi?" Sakura suggested. "I mean, that defines us and this takes place in Konoha." "ok." Sasuke said. "at least it's better than **Naruto's suggestion.**" the two glared at Naruto. "ok, we're on in 3…..2……1……."

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sorry but…...you'll hafta wait till the next chapter. I'M SO EVIL!! sorry about that…..well, see ya! Ja ne!

-K-chan


	2. Chapter 2: Lights, Camera, Action

Leaf Shinobi

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I don't own Naruto…..ok? It would be wonderful if I did, but I don't.

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Lights, Camera, Action-WHAT NOW?

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_Recap:_

"_we're on in 3….2….1…"_

Present:

101010101010101010101

Naruto: WAIT!!  
Sakura: (sweatdrops, was about to do intro) YOU IDIOT!!  
Sasuke: we're on air, you know….this is now live.

Naruto: but Sasuke, why are you wearing **glasses?** (points at Sasuke's face)  
Sasuke: (looks annoyed) right. (takes them off) happy?  
Sakura: YOU WEAR GLASSES?!  
Sasuke: I've kinda got near-sighted over the years………but anyway, the intro. coughcough  
NOW. (A/N: this is his attempt to direct attention away from him)

Sakura: sorry about that….(glares at Naruto) well…..welcome to leaf shinobi, our web show. I'm  
Sakura, that's Sasuke (points to Sasuke, Sasuke looks up from behind laptop and raises  
eyebrows), and this is Naruto, the idiot.  
Naruto: hey guys! welcome to our talk show-web show.  
Sasuke: excuse my language, but…..what the fuck?  
Naruto: well, it's a talk show on a web show, right?  
Sakura: (sarcastically) for you viewers out there, that was your taste of Naruto's stupidness.  
Naruto: but Sakura! I'm just stating a question!!! it could be a talk-web show, a web-talk show,  
or….or…..  
Sasuke: (looks directly at a camera) to put you guys out of your misery, Naruto, let's just call this  
a talk show on the web, ok? simple as that. now shut up.

Sakura: anyway, if you have any questions, IM us on the continent's messaging service. our  
screen name is LSw/SS&N.  
Naruto: sssoooo………now what?  
Sasuke: we didn't have a schedule today, since this our first session, so we're just going with the  
flow.

**POP** (you know, when you get a message, your computer makes a noise)  
Sasuke: here's a message from iheartsasuke#1001. great. a fangirl. anyway, this says, "Sasuke,  
are you dating anyone?"  
Naruto: (before Sasuke can respond) SAKURA-CHAN'S GOING OUT WITH SASUKE!!  
(Sasuke and Sakura looked freaked and gape at Naruto's big mouth)  
Sakura: Naruto, you idiot!! now all his stupid damned fangirls will be out for me. thanks a lot!  
Sasuke: now you guys know. and now I'll be attacked once I get out of this room. Joy.  
**POP  
**Sakura: this one's from dogsrule……hey, that's Kiba! it says, "wow, what a gr8 web show! can I  
come on set next episode?"  
Naruto: SURE!!  
**POP  
**Naruto: hey! this is from the pervy sage! his user name is MstrJiraia……it says, "forgetting  
something?" what does that mean?  
Sasuke: (walks over) click on the attachment, dobe. (clicks attachment. shows picture of Jiraiya  
holding Naruto's froggy wallet.)  
Naruto: oh my god!! FROGGY!!! PERVY SAGE, YOU'RE REALLY GONNA GET IT!!! (runs out of  
room to hunt down Jiraiya)

Sasuke: ok, Naruto's gone now. I guess we're done for today. well, we'll see you next episode on  
Leaf Shinobi.

1010101010101010101

Sasuke pressed stop. "well that's taken care of." Sakura said as she sighed. "uh-huh." they both looked at the clock in Sasuke's room. it was 10:30 AM. "….." the two sat in awkward silence, which they haven't done for a long time. "let's plan for the next episode while we're here." Sasuke stated. "well Kiba can come for starters." Sakura said. "then we could get some type of interview in with him and Akamaru." "yeah…" "and then….." Sakura trailed off.

Naruto burst into the room. "……" the hyperactive teen looked exhausted. "did you get your money back?" Sasuke questioned. "or did the geezer spend it off doing dirty work?" Sakura asked. Naruto tiredly showed them the wallet. however, it was only half the size it was before. "pervy sage spent a lot of my money doing his 'research'." Naruto replied. "well…you could tell us the 411 about your pursuit on our next episode." Sasuke suggested. "the viewers would be quite **interested**."

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thanks for reading. I need some funny questions to ask Kiba on the next chapter….so hit the review button now!! also, if you guys have some funny things for them to investigate, put that in your review too! arigato! ja ne!

-K-chan


	3. Chapter 3: Interviewing Kiba

Leaf Shinobi

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I need reviews!!!! ay carumba, (sp?) you people are gonna drive me nuts!!! (BTW: the author is not Spanish).  
disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. TT

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Interviewing Kiba and 411 of the Pursuit

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"should we start now?" Sasuke asked. "sure, whatever." Sakura replied tiredly. it was kind of early in the morning, and nothing nerve-wracking happened, so she wasn't fully up.

101010101010101010101

Sasuke: hi, it's us again. we're having a guest over in about 2 minutes, and you'll get to know him if you don't already.  
Sakura: he should be coming at any minute….  
Sasuke: in the meantime, Naruto, why don't you tell us the results of you rampage?  
Sakura: if you're drawing question marks at the word "rampage", remember what happened last episode? we got a message from Jiraiya, one of the legendary sannin. it appeared so that he stole Naruto's wallet, so yeah.

Sasuke: well Naruto? spill.

**KNOCK KNOCK  
**Naruto: never mind then!!! Kiba's here!

(Sasuke walks over and opens door)  
Sasuke: hi Kiba.  
Kiba: yo!  
Akamaru: woof!  
Sakura: now to the questions…..  
Naruto: how long have you had Akamaru?  
Kiba: lessee…..i got him when I was about 5….so I've had him for about 13 years.  
Sasuke: that's one long relationship (rolls eyes). and one big dog.

Sakura: do you consider yourself a good owner?  
Kiba: (stares at Sakura for a moment) what kind of questions are these?  
Sasuke: random ones. now just answer.  
Kiba: yes?  
Naruto: do you have any siblings? if yes, who?  
Kiba: I have a big sis named Hana, believe it or not. Hana of the Inuzuka. it just doesn't sound right because it technically translates to flower in the house of dogs or somethin' weird like that.  
Sasuke: interesting………  
Sakura: what's your philosophy of life?  
Kiba: um……live life to the fullest with what you've got. I think.  
Naruto: do we have anymore questions?  
Sasuke: I guess not. for those of you watching live, send any questions that you have now.

**POP**  
Sakura: this is from flwrofdaInuzuka. it says, "thanks for criticizing my name, bro. it wasn't my fault my name is weird. ask mom on how she named me instead of criticizing me on live web!"  
Kiba: sorry sis…that was Hana for starters……now what?  
Sasuke: Naruto, let's hear about your rampage now, shall we? (smirks with an evil look)  
Naruto:……….  
sakura: C'MON, SPILL IT!!!  
Naruto: uh…..um……..  
Kiba: I'm curious. now talk. it isn't like you to go "um, uh."  
Naruto: so I ran into main street to find pervy sage right? and can you guess where I found him?  
Sasuke: the tavern?  
Sakura: the hot springs? (makes an "ew" face)  
Kiba: at a restaurant? who is this pervy sage anyway? (no one hears his question)  
(Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke give Kiba a "definitely not" face)  
Naruto: HE WAS TAKING GRANNY TSUNADE TO THE TAVERN!!  
Sakura: NO WAY!!! (begins to spaz out)  
Kiba: who was taking lady Tsunade out? (no one hears him, except Sasuke, who doesn't respond)  
Naruto: HELL YEAH!! I SAW IT WITH MY OWN EYES!! THEY WERE ACTUALLY HAVING A REAL CONVERSATION INSTEAD OF ARGUING!!!  
Sasuke: well, seeing is believing, as they say. but Tsunade? are you sure?  
Naruto: I. swear. it. was. her.  
Sakura: (recovers from spaz attack) then what happened?  
Naruto: well, then I kind of interrupted like I always do…..and then I demanded my wallet back from the perv.  
Kiba: who are you guys calling a perv anyway? I'm lost.  
Sasuke: the sannin Jiraiya himself. duh.  
Kiba: NO WAY!! HE'S A PERVERT??!!  
Sakura: (sweatdrops) yep, you betcha. big time. didn't you know he's the author of those disgusting Icha icha books?  
(Kiba begins to have a spaz attack.)  
Kiba: WHAT THE FREAKIN' HELL!!?? GAG ME!!  
Sasuke: with that confusion put aside…..then what?  
Naruto: well then Jiraiya said, "oh look, it's Naruto." in that snobby teacher-like tone he has. and then the ba-chan goes, "Naruto, what are you doing here, and why are you yelling for your wallet?"  
**POP  
**Sakura: hold on a sec, let's see what the message see. Kiba, you can do the honors.  
Kiba: this is from mind-control-grl. hey, that's Ino. anyway, she said, "OMG, are you serious?"  
Sasuke: looks like this is dead serious stuff. (looks at one of the cameras) You're probably disgusted right?  
**POP  
**Sasuke: this is from I'm-majorly-freaked-now#100. it says, "I'm definitely disgusted. and freaked, now that I think about it."  
Kiba: just continue.  
Naruto: so then I yelled, "pervy sage, give me back my wallet!!" and then he goes, "oh right. here ya go, buddy." and then he added, "I hope you don't mind about me borrowing some of your green." and then he chuckles. the old geezer!  
Sakura: did Tsunade-sama say anything afterward?  
Naruto: yep. she said, "Jiraiya! how could you? you good for nothing idiotic pervert!!" then she began hitting him.  
Sasuke: (says this in a singsong voice, which is OOC) looks like someone got in trouble…. BURN.  
Kiba: …….  
Sakura: well, he got what he deserved. but why were you so tired afterward?  
Naruto: we- (Sasuke puts hand over Naruto's mouth)  
Sasuke: before we get into that, you need some info. after we stopped the show, he came back in looking very exhausted. just an FYI. now you can go.  
Naruto: (glares at Sasuke) as I was saying, granny Tsunade and I started chasing pervy sage. we practically chased him around town twice before we caught him and beat him up. and then I trudged back up here.  
Kiba: wow. that's scary to know.  
(Sasuke looks at clock)  
Sasuke: time to wrap things up. join us next time for a random psychological experiment! we'll discover what different people think about when they think of certain colors. we'll have 9 guests next week, Including Kiba.  
Sakura: one, two, three…  
everyone: once again, this is Leaf Shinobi. See ya next time! (well, Sasuke says bye, instead of see ya next time)

101010101010101010101

"colors? sounds interesting." Kiba said. "arwoo!" Akamaru concurred. "yeah. it'll be amusing on what people come up with." Sasuke replied. "so we're doing it at 3 tomorrow, right?" Sakura asked. "sounds good." Sasuke said. "sure, whatever!" Naruto replied (he has no idea what's happening).

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next chapter will be very random, but funny. I need some funny moments or something to put in the series. so hit the review button now!!! I normally don't like reviews, but I need some back-up ideas in case I go on writer's block. thanks for reading! Ja ne!

-K-chan


	4. Chapter 4: I Say Color, You Say What?

Leaf Shinobi

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hi guys, K-chan here. (well duh, who else? evil aliens! yeah right) how's life treating you?

disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. or do i? ehehehehe….  
Kabuto: say that again? (grins evilly. scary)  
K-chan: I DON'T OWN NARUTO!! NOW LEAVE ME ALONE!! HELP!  
Kabuto walks away.  
k-chan: phew. Kabuto's gone. well, this lengthy chapter may have hints of sakuXsasu, just a FYI.

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I Say Color, You Say What?  
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"let me do a head count real quick." Sasuke announced. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, and 9. plus 3 more, 12. "ok, everyone's here." Sakura stated. team 8, 10 and Gai sat in a circle with chairs that were facing the cameras. "we're on air in 3….2…1.."

101010101010101010101

Sasuke: you're watching Leaf Shinobi. today, we're going to find out what people think of when we say certain colors. first of all, let's get to know our guests.  
Sakura: well, you know Naruto, Sasuke, and me well enough. Kiba from last time is here too, so you know him. now we're gonna pass the mike down the circle. everyone, please state your name and something about yourself. (passes mike to Shikamaru) (A/N: the names will be westernized, 'cause I'm western! ;-P)  
Shikamaru: I'm Shikamaru Nara, i'm called a lazy genius, and I like to watch clouds.  
Choji: I'm Choji Akamichi and I like eating!  
Ino: how typical. anyway, I'm Ino Yamanaka, and I help run the Yamanaka flower shop in Konoha.  
Hinata: i-I'm hina-ta Hyuga a-and I'm h-heiress of the c-clan.  
Shino: I'm Shino Aburame and I fight with bugs. nothing all that special.  
Kiba: you guys know me, I'm Kiba Inuzuka.  
Neji: I'm Neji Hyuga and I'm a branch member of the Hyuga clan.  
Tenten: I'm Tenten, and I can hit 100 targets perfectly with 100 attempts.  
Lee: I'm rock lee and I believe in the power of youth! YOSH!  
Naruto: and the three of us are us!  
(everyone but Naruto, Choji, and Lee sweatdrop)  
**POP  
**Sasuke: wait a minute. this is from WTH?. it says, "did I hear something wrong, or are there two Hyugas in your room?"  
Neji: there are two. I'm Hinata's older cousin.  
Sakura: now, are there any other questions about our guests before we start the color asking?  
**POP  
**Naruto: this is from huh?. it says, "what does 'yosh' mean?"  
Lee: it means- (Tenten shuts him up)  
Tenten: you don't wanna know. trust me. LONG EXPLANATION. (talking now directed to lee) now urusai!  
Sakura: ok, now let's start. Sasuke, what's the color?

Sasuke: what do you think of when you think of white?  
Shikamaru: um, clouds.  
Choji: RICE!!!!  
(Ino restrains urge to whack good old Choji)  
Ino: white carnations.  
Hinata: father's clothes.  
(Neji has a "what the freak" look on his face)  
Neji: I know it's not my turn, but Hiashi-sama's clothes? that's pretty random for you, Hinata.  
Kiba: Akamaru's fur!  
Shino: the interesting mold I found on a tree a couple days ago.  
(everyone coughs and has a "disgusting" look on face)  
Neji: interesting, Shino. I think of clouds.  
Tenten: Neji's clothes.  
Neji: nice to know……  
Lee: the bitterness of the winter of elderliness!! (sobs) (A/N: spring of youth, winter of elderliness. get it?)  
Sakura: ok…..i think of snow.  
Naruto: I think of rice too.  
Sasuke: as you can tell, we have 2 food lovers here. anyway, it think of my clan symbol.

Sasuke: the next color is…….pink. regular pink, mind you. not pale pink or magenta.  
Shikamaru: this is so weird, but I think of pink cotton candy.  
(everyone but Lee and Naruto give Shikamaru a look that says, "weird…")  
choji: um…. I think of cherries.  
Ino: pink roses.  
Hinata: Sakura blossoms.  
Sakura: nice thought.  
Shino: um….a random pink flower.  
Kiba: Akamaru's tongue!  
Neji: Hinata blushing. don't ask. I see her do it practically every day.  
(Hinata blushes, as if to prove Neji's point)  
Neji: see?  
Tenten: I say it's the color I don't like!  
Sakura: thanks for compliment to my hair color….mo…  
lee: I see a beautiful Sakura blossom in the spring of youth!!!!  
(Sakura does the "gag me" gesture and has a vein throbbing)  
Sakura: good grief! I think of my stinkin' weird hair color.  
Sasuke: stinkin' weird? (raises eyebrows and smirks) I think it's nice. stop degrading yourself.  
Sakura: (sarcastically) uh-huh. rriiiigghhhttt. you're just saying that to make me feel better.  
Naruto: I think of Sakura's hair too!!  
Ino: Naruto, you have weird ways of cheering up people. idiot.  
Sasuke: you are such a dobe. (shakes head in fake sadness) anyway, Sakura, stop degrading yourself. I REPEAT. STOP IT. (he's not yelling, he's just saying this is a firm tone, so I just put it in caps because I'm weird like that)  
Sakura: fine…..  
Sasuke: besides, I think of Sakura when I think of pink.  
(Sakura blushes a little)

Sasuke: thinking of the color gray.  
Shikamaru: storm clouds.  
Choji: rainy days…..  
Ino: the gray asphalt…  
Hinata: rainy days….  
Shino: stormy days…  
Kiba: my coat.  
Neji: my grandfather.  
Hinata: grandfather? he doesn't even have gray hair, let alone wear gray!!  
Neji: his hair's turning white. within the next 2 years, he will be gray.  
Tenten: anyway….i think of my precious weapons.  
lee: the stormy skies from the winter of elderliness!!! (sobs)  
(everyone sweatdrops)  
Sakura: I think of cloudy skies.  
Naruto: I see days with no training!! a. k. a. rainy days!!  
Sasuke: the day after the clan was killed. It was a rainy day.  
Sakura: now you look sad….  
Sasuke: (snaps) I'M NOT!  
Naruto: take it easy…….  
Sasuke: Naruto, shut up.  
sakura: well as you can tell, most of us tend to think of rainy days, or stormy days.

Sasuke: the next color is yellow.  
Shikamaru: I think of the sunlight that shines annoyingly into my room, which means my mom will be kicking me up.  
Choji: bananas,  
Naruto: why does pretty much everything you say relate to food?  
Choji: it just does.  
Ino: um….my hair color.  
Hinata: my name….  
**POP  
**Sakura: this is from blinky. it says, "your name? I'm confused like crap."  
Neji: (replies before Hinata can respond) her name translates to "sunny place", and the sun is bright and reminds people of yellow. am I correct?  
Hinata: right…..  
Shino: the sun.  
Kiba: Akamaru's pee…..  
Sasuke: HOLY SHIT!! what the heck?!  
Kiba: well his pee is yellow…..  
Sakura and Ino: (simultaneously) your urine is SUPPOSED to be yellow, you idiot!!  
(Kiba shrugs)  
Neji: that was disturbing…..i think of the sun as well.  
Tenten: sun.  
Lee: the glorious sun in the summer!!!  
Sasuke: I think of lemons…the fruit. I'm not a perv. don't get the wrong impression.  
Naruto: SASUKE'S A PERVERT!!! (singsong voice) HAHA!!  
(Sasuke attempts to knock out Naruto, but sadly misses)  
Naruto: I think of RAMEN!!  
Sakura: …..i think of the sun.  
**POP  
**Sasuke: this is from flwrofdaInuzuka. Hana again. it says, "well at least everyone's normal…except for my disgusting brother."  
Kiba: that's me!! (states it in a proud, happy fashion)  
Sakura: you're not supposed to be proud of it. she's insulting you.  
Kiba: I knew that.  
Naruto: no you didn't.

Sasuke: I'm thinking green.  
Shikamaru: huh? what? (he kind of dozed off) oh. I think of grass.  
Choji: wasabi I guess…..  
Ino: flower leaves and stems.  
Hinata: trees.  
Kiba: Akamaru's puke!!!!  
everyone: eeww!!! gross!  
Shino: he skipped me, but I think of leaves.  
Neji: Gai and Lee's idiotic outfits.  
Tenten: same.  
lee: THE WONDERFUL GREEN GRASS IN THE YOUTH OF SPRING!!!  
(everyone sweatdrops except for Naruto and Choji)

Sakura: I say leaves.  
Naruto: Napa cabbage… (FYI: it's a light green veggie)  
Sasuke: weird……I think grass.

Sasuke: thinking of red.  
Shikamaru: um………uh……..apples?  
Choji: HOT PEPPERS!!  
(everyone but lee sweatdrops)  
Ino: uh….roses.  
Hinata: roses.  
Shino: bug guts.  
(all girls make an "eeww" face)  
Kiba: Akamaru when he eats a soldier pill.  
Neji: I hate to say this, but blood.  
Tenten: ditto.  
lee: HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT, MY YOUTHFUL COMRADES?! I have to say wonderful red roses!!  
(everyone anime falls on their head)  
everyone: geez……  
Sakura: cherries.  
Naruto: I HAVE NO IDEA!!  
Sasuke: blood….  
Naruto: SASUKE'S HAS DEPRESSION!!!  
Sasuke: no I don't.  
Naruto: YES YOU DO!!  
Sakura: Naruto, URUSEI!!  
Naruto: fine…….  
Sasuke: (mocks Naruto) BURN.

Sasuke: thinking of blue.  
Shikamaru: any blue?  
Sasuke: hai.  
Shikamaru: the sky.  
choji: blueberries  
Ino: blue jeans rule!!  
everyone: …  
Hinata: the ocean  
Shino: the blue from our headbands.  
Kiba: ditto….  
Neji: sky.  
Tenten: the rain.  
lee: THE WONDERFUL WATERS FROM SUMMER!!  
everyone: we get the point……  
everyone thinks: _stop torturing us with your freakin' weird beliefs……please…._  
Sakura: Sasuke's clothes…..or his old clothes anyway….(now he wears black)  
Naruto: uh…….Rasengan?  
Sasuke: …….Chidori…….

Sasuke: now thinking about orange.  
Shikamaru: Naruto's weird outfit.  
Naruto: HEY! my outfit is not weird!!  
everyone but Choji and lee: YES IT IS!!  
Choji: oranges.  
Ino: I dunno……  
Hinata: goldfish.  
Neji: the fish, or the snack?  
(as if on cue, an ad pops up on Sasuke's laptop and sings, "the snack that smiles back! goldfish!")  
Hinata: the fish…….  
(Sasuke angrily "kills the ad". a. k. a. closes it)  
Sasuke: (mutters) damn ads……  
Shino: maggots.  
(once again, Shino succeeds at making all the girls get all grossed out)  
Kiba: carrot sticks? I don't know….  
Neji: ………nothing comes to mind…..  
Tenten: goldfish.  
lee: for once, I am not sure. (he says this in that annoying weird way he has)  
Sakura: that disgusting frog!!  
Naruto: you mean Gamakichi? I thought of him too!  
Sasuke: Naruto's **bright** choice of color.

Sasuke: the color is….purple.  
Shikamaru: Ino's clothes.  
Choji: purple grapes!  
Ino: my clothes….  
Hinata: violets…..  
Shino: don't know….  
Kiba: um…..uh……(shrugs)  
Neji: the shirt that Tenten wore only once.  
Tenten: …….nothing comes to mind….  
lee: the beautiful violet flowers in the spring of youth!  
Sakura: Ino.  
Ino: thank you.  
Sasuke: Manda…..(shudders)  
Naruto: grape juice.

Sasuke: here's our last color…BLACK.  
Shikamaru: sleeping.  
Choji: seaweed…although it's kinda greenish…  
Ino: burned flowers.  
**POP  
**Sakura: this is from I'mtotallyconfused. it says, "burned flowers? huh?"  
Ino: ok, here's the inside scoop. one day, this customer came in, and told me that she had burned her flowers. when I asked her what she meant by that, she took them out of a trash bag and put them on the counter. they smelled horrible!! the thing was, she wanted to get new flowers.  
Naruto: how did she burn them in the first place?  
Ino: she never told me….  
Hinata: nighttime.  
Kiba: watching stars!  
Shino: beetles…  
Neji: nighttime….the dark.  
Tenten: darkness.  
Lee: THE HORRIBLE SADDENING TIME IN WHICH THE WORLD ENDS!!! (sobs)  
everyone: O.O  
Sakura: dark rooms.  
Naruto: dark, small places……  
Sasuke: Orochimaru's lair. it is so dark there……

Sakura: now we're done with our little experiment!  
everyone: once again, you're watching Leaf Shinobi. See ya! (Neji, Shikamaru, Shino, and Sasuke say 'bye' instead of 'see ya')

101010101010101010101

"ok, we're done!" Sakura said loudly. "thanks for helping out," Sasuke said. "no prob." Kiba replied.

10 minutes later……

"ok, what about our next episode?" Sakura asked. "we're all going to the Land of Snow next week in Kakashi-sensei's car…" Naruto said. "we could film on the car," Sasuke suggested. "and then swap people around in the cars to get random conversations." "that's a great idea!" sakura yelled.

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ta-da! how did you like it? R&R NOW OR ELSE YOU DIE. just kidding. but just press that review button, ok?! I need ideas….so press review!

Glossary:  
urusai: shut up  
urusai: shut the friggin' damn hell up

-K-chan


	5. Chapter 5: Off to the Land of Snow

Leaf Shinobi

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K-chan: ok, once again, I DON'T OWN NARUTO.  
Kabuto: good.  
k-chan: GET OUT!!  
Kabuto: meanie……  
K-chan: also, this chapter may have a spoiler for some of you who aren't as far in the series. so….  
SPOILER WARNING!!  
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Off to the Land of Snow

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At the Village gate (doorway, boundary, whatever)…..

the former teams 7, 8, 10, and Gai stood around the 4 cars. although all of them were perfectly capable of driving (excluding Lee and Naruto, since they haven't passed their exams nor their lessons..T-T), the sensei's were driving.

Gai's car was a forest green BMW SUV that was pretty modern. (A/N: I don't know the name of the model….T-T) Kakashi's car was a silver Honda Odyssey. Kurenai's car was a sleek, red Mustang (she's a good car hunter…..:-P). last but not least, Iruka had a pale blue station wagon (don't know a model…use your imagination). everyone was riding with their team sensei, except for team 10, (A/N: SPOILER IS HERE!) who was riding with Iruka, since Asuma had died. (END OF SPOILER) "well, shall we set off?" Kakashi asked. "sure." Iruka said. "ready whenever you are," Kurenai replied, getting into her Mustang. then the 4 cars set off to the cold Land of Snow.

in Kakashi's car…..

"you guys seem awful quiet today," Kakashi said in that calm way he had. "is it the time, or what?" "neither," Sasuke replied, looking up from the laptop on his lap. "let's start the show," Sakura said. "I mean, we have 8 hours until we get there." "what show?" Kakashi asked. "our show!!" Naruto yelled. Sakura cringed from her seat next to Naruto. all of the teams were seated like so: the driver in the driver's seat-of course. the 3 teens sat in the back in one row. so, Sakura was in between Naruto and Sasuke. Kakashi, however, still looked confused. "we started a web show a couple days ago," Sasuke explained. "I see.." Kakashi said.

101010101010101010101

Sakura: hey guys, we're now sitting in our teacher's mini-van on our way to the Land of Snow.  
Naruto: hey! there's a knock knock joke book!!  
(Sasuke and Sakura groan in despair, hoping that Naruto wouldn't start cracking dumb jokes)  
Sasuke: well, that's our teacher, right in the driver's seat. of course.  
**POP**  
Sakura: this is from i-hate-to-ask,but. it says, "why is your teacher's hair gray? he's not that old, is he?!"  
(the car reaches a traffic light, and Kakashi stops)  
Kakashi: (turns around to face the back) my hair color's always been like that. I'm not that old.  
Naruto: DON'T BELIEVE HIM!! HE'S ACTUALLY OVER 100!!  
(everyone whacks their head)  
everyone excluding Naruto: …………  
Gai: KAKASHI, MY CAR'S MORE BEASTLIER THAN YOURS!!  
(Kakashi sweatdrops)  
Kakashi: I forgot….we have walkie talkies….(shows the three teens the walkie talkie that was sitting on the passenger seat)  
(Sakura, Sasuke, and Naruto sweatdrop)  
Kakashi: (talks into walkie talkie) I don't care, ok?  
Gai: HOW COULD YOU NOT CARE?!  
(eerie silence from walkie talkies)  
Iruka: (on walkie talkie from other car) uh…….  
Kurenai: Gai, you're scaring Ashura. (Spoiler: at the end of the series she was pregnant with Asuma's child, remember? the boy's now 2 and a half)  
Neji: it's ok, I've officially confiscated the walkie talkie from Gai and lee.  
(conversation on walkie talkies ceases)  
Naruto: I HAVE A JOKE!!  
(Sakura shifts a little closer to Sasuke, in fear of having Naruto's craziness rub off on her…just kidding)  
Naruto: KNOCK KNOCK?  
Everyone else: who's there? (they must be very bored in order to respond to Naruto)  
Naruto: BOO!!!  
Sakura and Kakashi: (Sasuke's stopped answering) boo who?  
Sakura: that is such an old joke….  
Naruto: WHY ARE YOU CRYING??  
Sasuke: (through gritted teeth) Naruto, urusai.

a few minutes later……

Naruto: this is really good! knock knock!!  
sakura: who's there?  
Sakura thinks: _why am I doing this?_  
Naruto: take!  
Sakura and Kakashi: take who?  
Sasuke: (yells, for once) TAKE A BATH, FOOL!!  
Naruto: (at the same time Sasuke says 'take a bath') TAKE A HIKE!!  
(everyone sweatdrops)

2 minutes later……

Naruto: knock knock!!  
Kakashi: who's there? (sounds very tired)  
Naruto: take!  
Sasuke: TAKE A BATH FOOL, AND THEN I'LL TAKE A HIKE!! (activates Sharingan) NOW SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTH!!  
Sakura: O.O (she's kinda scared…)  
Naruto: fine……teme.  
Sasuke: dobe  
Naruto: teme  
Sasuke: do-  
Sakura: both of you, shut up.  
Kakashi: we're going to stop for lunch and meet with the others, ok?  
Sakura, Sasuke, and Naruto: fine.  
Sakura: well, we'll see you in a few……once again, this is Leaf Shinobi. See ya!

101010101010101010101

Kakashi drove on for more than 10 minutes. "why did you tell us to stop?" Naruto asked. "well actually, he just said we were going to stop for lunch." Sakura said. "but nothing was really happening, so I stopped the show." "know what you hear, dobe." Sasuke said monotonously. "aw, shuddup!" Naruto yelled. "feh," Sasuke retorted, frowning as he looked out the window.

they finally got to the restaurant. Gai was there first, and yelled, "I BEAT YOU KAKASHI!! AHAHAHA!" Neji and Tenten sweatdropped while Lee had fire in his eyes (as usual). Iruka drove into the parking lot, and then Kurenai came. the senseis got a small booth while the teens squeezed into a big round booth.

"just one question," Naruto asked with his eyes closed (in slits, you know what I mean?). "why do we have to get squashed in this table while THEY get a nice booth all to themselves? I mean, really, we're not that small anymore." Naruto got a mixed response. Shikamaru said, "it's too troublesome to explain." Lee said, "IT'S JUST THE CHAIN OF RESPECT!!" "I dunno." Choji replied. the others yelled, "BECAUSE THEY'RE TEACHERS, IDIOT!"

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kinda short….sorry 'bout that…R&R!!! the senseis are planning to play a prank on Gai, so stay tuned!!

-K-chan


	6. Chapter 6: Playing a Prank on Gai

Leaf Shinobi

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Sasuke: destinyKW doesn't own Naruto. or me. or any of the others.  
K-chan: YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO CALL ME K-CHAN!!  
Sasuke: whatever. feh.  
(chases him around town)

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Pulling a Prank on Gai

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everyone slowly ate their lunch. all was quiet. "I'm going to the restroom. does anyone else need to go?" Gai announced. "I DO!" Lee yelled. everyone else in the restaurant stared. everyone except lee and Gai shrunk slowly in their seats. the crazy twosome walked away.

"who wants to do a prank?" Iruka asked. Kakashi looked at Iruka and gave a look that said, "how-typical". "always the playful and childish one, eh, Iruka?" he inquired coolly. "well, it would be fun to freak Gai out a little," Kurenai said. "genjutsu time!" "ok, once we get back in the cars, turn your walkie talkie to the number 98.7." Iruka said. "then we'll discuss plans."

at the teens' table….

"I'm bored…" Kiba muttered. Neji and Sasuke just stared out the window. for once, Ino didn't have anything to talk about. everyone just stared at each other. after what seemed like years, the senseis got up, and said it was time to hit the road.

with team 7………..

Kakashi switched the number to 98.7. "Raikiri, checking in," he muttered. "schoolteacher here." Iruka said. "genjutsu mistress here." Kurenai said. "ok, now for a plan." Iruka mused. "I have in idea." Kurenai exclaimed. "I'll use genjutsu to create copies of our cars in front of Gai. then I'll make our cars appear to be black. then, one of us will be in front of Gai's car, and the rest of us will be on each side. then he'll probably freak because he'll think he's being followed, but can't join us because we'll be driving at his pace, so he can't get out." "ingenious," Kakashi said. "let's switch back and set this plan in action." Iruka concluded.

"huh?" the three teens stared at Kakashi in confusion. "did we miss something?" Sasuke asked. "a prank, huh, Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto said. "I thought you were too old for that." "well, let's just say it would be quite entertaining to see Gai spaz out," Kakashi replied.

with team 8…….

Kurenai began to use her genjutsu. first, she turned their cars black. then, she made illusions of their cars in front of Gai's SUV. "uh..k-kurenai-sens-sei, what are y-you doing?" Hinata asked timidly. "doing my huge part of the prank," Kurenai replied, sounding preoccupied. meanwhile, Kakashi and Iruka were moving closer towards Gai's SUV and began to keep the same speed. Kurenai was already in front, but she made sure that she was going slow enough to drive Gai nuts.

with Gai's team…..

"uh, Gai-sensei?" lee interrupted. Gai was in the middle of doing one of his "when I was your age" speeches…or torturing tales, in Tenten and Neji's opinion. "what, lee?!" Gai asked. "why are we being surrounded by ominous black cars?" Gai looks to his right and left and then up ahead. "OH NO!!!" he yelled. Neji then silently activated his Byakugan. then he saw that it was only Kurenai's genjutsu (I'm not sure if the Byakugan can do this, but let's say it can detect genjutsu for this chapter). Neji then gave Tenten the reality check (A.K.A the real thing). "WE'RE BEING FOLLOWED!!!" Gai then fumbles around for the walkie talkie. "KAKASHI, KURENAI, IRUKA, I'M BEING FOLLOWED!!" he yelled into the walkie talkie.

in the odyssey, team 7 snickered. Gai sounded so helpless and stupid yelling, "I'M BEING FOLLOWED!!" in the mustang, everyone but Shino laughed out loud. Shino just grinned silently. with team 10, everyone was laughing so hard that Iruka almost forgot to keep in pace with Gai's SUV. "Iruka-sensei, the SUV!!" Ino yelled as a reminder. the 3 sly teachers had told their passengers the whole plan once they got in the car, so everyone was ready to witness Gai freak out.

"HELLO, HELLO?" Gai yelled. "YOU GUYS, CAN'T YOU SEE MY CAR?!" "nope….we only see a pack of black cars. that's it." Kurenai replied simply. "I NEED HELP NOW!! CAN'T YOU SEE?!" Gai cried into the walkie talkie. "I don't see you…." Kakashi muttered, and then stopped pressing the button on the walkie talkie for a moment to snicker with glee.

meanwhile, Neji and Tenten were just sitting calmly in the back waiting for the truth to be revealed. it was quite a show for them though. then Tenten randomly took out a big bag of chips and started munching on them, watching the show. and then she said, "want some?" while holding out the bag to Neji. neji then said, "sure, why not?" then Neji pulled out two Cokes and handed one to Tenten. and then the two began to enjoy the show snacking on Lays potato chips and Coca-Cola.

"Gai-sensei, this is scary!!" lee cried. Neji and Tenten sweatdropped. "I know lee!! if I speed up, the ones next to us speed up!!" Gai responded in a panicked tone. "WE'RE DOOOMED!!" Tenten almost choked on a chip. Neji and Tenten held back their laughter. the others in the other cars laughed at Gai and lee. then the 3 teachers switched to another number station thing.

"ok, when shall we reveal the truth?" Iruka asked. "how about never?" Kurenai replied. "I love to see him freak out." "well, this will get a little old for Neji and Tenten after a couple of reruns…" Kakashi trailed off (he got lost on the road of life again, or the highway if you prefer XD). "we will eventually have to….." Iruka stated. "fine, fine, fine," Kurenai muttered. "I'll stop the genjutsu now."

the black cars moved away, fitting into the illusions of the original cars, and went back to being the good old mustang, odyssey, and station wagon they were. "YOU GUYS, THE CARS AREN'T FOLLOWING US ANYMORE!!" Gai yelled in relief. Tenten snorted. "what's so funny?" lee asked. "NOTHING!!" Tenten replied, panicking slightly. it was a good thing that lee was on the dim side, otherwise he would have started to interrogate poor Tenten. instead, he said, "ok,"

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what did ya think? R&R NOW. I MEAN IT. NOW. N-O-W. I need suggestions, because eventually my brain cells will fizzle out and I won't be able to think about any new things. :-(

-K-chan


	7. Chapter 7: Time to Switch Drivers

Leaf Shinobi

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Sakura: k-chan doesn't own Naruto or the rest of us.  
k-chan: why did u have to remind me!!?? (sobs….JK)

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Time to Switch Drivers

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the group drove on for another boring 30 minutes. then Naruto asked something so pointless that even Kakashi was laughing. "LOOK OUT!!" Sasuke yelled (his yelling can be good on occasion). next thing team 7 knew, they had crashed into a tree.

"WHAT THE HELL!!??" Sasuke said loudly in obvious frustration. "ow…" Sakura muttered. "whoopsy," Kakashi apologized. "THE SEATBELT ALMOST DECAPITATED MY NECK, YOU IDIOT!!" Sasuke yelled. if you looked at his neck, you would be able to see a red line that went across his neck. Naruto ended up with a bruised face (his head slammed into the seat in front of him).

"you know what, just let me take the wheel," Sasuke muttered. "never." Kakashi replied simply. "YES." Sasuke said it a firm tone. "nope," Kakashi grinned. he loved seeing his students get aggravated at his stubbornness. "DO IT OR ELSE." Sasuke grumbled. "fine…."

the team was on the go again, this time with Sasuke at the wheel. "Kakashi, are you guys ok?" Iruka asked. "yes, we're fine," Kakashi assured the others. "wait a minute….why is Sasuke driving?" Kurenai asked. "because SOMEBODY doesn't know how to drive carefully." Sasuke retorted. "KAKASHI, HOW COULD YOU???!!" Gai yelled. then he suddenly turned all freakishly happy (another mood swing…). "WELL, AT LEAST THAT'S ANOTHER POINT FOR ME!! NOW OUR SCORE IS 1-0!!"

with team 8……

"since team 7 switched drivers, can't be also?" Shino asked to no one in particular (he was talking to the window because that's how anti-social he is!! I'm joking). "I guess so," Kurenai replied. "after all, I am getting a little tired of driving. who wants to drive?" Kiba volunteered at once. "MEMEMEMEME!!!" "I think that I should drive though," Shino said. "i-I a-agree." Hinata seconded Shino's statement. "but why?" Kiba whined. "um, let's see, you're kind of known as a reckless driver at times, and with Ashura on board, Kurenai doesn't trust you with her kid or her car." Shino explained, sounding like a machine. Kiba gaped at Shino. "FINE!!" Kurenai pulled over and Kiba reluctantly let Shino drive.

with team 10……

"team 7 and 8 just switched drivers," Shikamaru observed lazily. "maybe I should drive," he mumbled. "of course you can't!!" Ino protested. "why not?" "because within 30 minutes, you'll fall asleep on the wheel!!" Ino yelled. "good point," Choji said. "Ino then got in the drivers seat.

with team Gai…….

"um, Gai-sensei?" lee interrupted. now Gai was giving them a lecture on how you should keep your promises no matter how STUPID they were. of course, Neji and Tenten PRETENDED to listen, but were really just spacing out. "what lee?" "Kurenai-sensei and Iruka-sensei have also switched drivers. "WHAT??!!" Gai yelled. "HOW COULD THAT POSSIBLY BE?! KAKASHI IS TOO POPULAR!!" Tenten and Neji sweatdrop. "Gai-sensei, may I drive?" lee asked. "NO!" Tenten exclaimed. then she said, "you're liable to get us in a car crash." "I think it would be best if I drive," Neji stated.

"let's do some karaoke over the walkie talkie!" Ino suggested. pretty much everyone was like, "no." Shino just stared stonily ahead at the road, ignoring Ino's idea. Sakura grabbed the walkie talkie and said, "definitely no," and then in team 10's car, Shikamaru grimly stated that the walkie talkie would run out of batteries sooner or later, so the idea was pointless. but knowing Ino, she didn't care. "nobody's perfect! I gotta work it! again and again till I get it right!" (A/N: I don't like Hannah Montana. in fact, I hate it) everyone groaned. "INO, WE ALL THINK THAT SONG IS FOR 9-YEAR OLDS!!" Sakura yelled. "NOW JUST SING SOMETHING ELSE, PLEASE!!" the others grumbled their thanks. "ok then, you get the best of both worlds!" Ino yelled. then she kept singing. in the car, Iruka was restraining the urge to whack Ino on the head hard.

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well…the characters will be put out of their misery soon. next chapter, they'll finally be at the land of snow. R&R!

-K-chan


	8. Chapter 8: Random Story Time!

Leaf Shinobi

--

Koiyuki: destinyKW doesn't own Naruto.

k-chan: STOP REMINDING ME!! (frowns)

--

Random Story Time!!  
--

it was getting late, and our troops decided to stay at a hotel for the night. 4 rooms, 4 teams. let the chaos ensue! the group met in team 8's room. then, our 'crew' set up their equipment to do a random episode.

101010101010101010101

Sasuke: welcome to leaf shinobi, episode 3…..4? who knows, who cares?  
Naruto: I CARE!!  
Sakura: I don't care if you care.  
Sasuke: anyway, since we are close to the Land of Snow, we're going to get a little more 'techy' if that's what you people say.  
Sakura: over there, we're going to get a super good camcorder so you guys won't have to get annoyed with the horrible resolution that you get with our web cams!  
Sasuke: also, then we won't have to mess with mikes or anything. which can be a bit of a hassle with all the cords.  
Naruto: can I talk now? you guys are being hogs.  
(Sakura goes on a rampage-all directed on Naruto)  
Sakura: AS IF!!  
Naruto: DON'T KILL ME!!  
Sasuke: well, we're in a hotel now, and all of Konoha 12 is here. plus the senseis.  
Kurenai: yep, that's us.  
Neji: well, all the senseis are here except Asuma. Iruka's here instead.

(Shikamaru takes out a pack of cigs and lights one up)

Ino: SHIKMARU!!  
Shikamaru: what? (takes a drag from his cigarette)  
Ino: i thought you quit!!  
Choji: yeah, you quit last year!!  
Shikamaru: I carry a pack just in case I get very depressed…..(coughs, no hacks, blaming Neji)  
lee: NEJI, THAT'S MEAN! IF HE QUIT, YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE MADE HIM START AGAIN!!  
Neji: I didn't know that he'd just start smoking just because I mentioned Asuma. geez…  
Kurenai: you do realize that this is a NON-SMOKING room right?  
Shikamaru: oh. whoops. (blows out cigarette and throws it away)

Sakura: anyway, it's getting late, so you're just going to hear some random stories….  
Shino: Kiba, remember when-  
Kiba: YOU SWORE NOT TO TELL!! YOU SWORE! NOW DON'T SPILL!!  
Shino: (ignores Kiba) your sister dressed you up like a jumbo baby doll?  
(Hinata blushes really hard and then launches into silent fits of laughter)  
Kurenai: Hana what?  
Shino: dressed Kiba up in giant baby clothes and then pushed him around town just to drive him mad.  
Kiba: STOP IT!! (hides face in shame and goes to a corner of the room)  
everyone: ahahahha!  
sasuke: that's a new low.  
(Shikamaru starts snoring)  
Ino: what! he's asleep already!! (smacks Shikamaru upside the head for good measure)  
Shikamaru: oww……  
Neji: I have a random story.  
Sasuke: really?  
Naruto: wow  
Neji: ok, so basically every night, Hinata, Hiashi-sama, and I sit on the steps around, let's say, sunset. it's what I like to call 'Hyuga Clan Habit #3: sit on steps and enjoy tea while staring into space'.

Hinata: not really…..  
Neji: don't rain on my parade.  
Hinata: a pretty bad parade.  
Neji: excuse me?  
Sakura: you guys, please stop.  
Hinata and Neji: fine…..

Sasuke: remember the plywood avatar we randomly made? (A/N: for those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, image google it under the words: plywood Naruto. it'll be the first result with Anko on it)  
Shikamaru: oh yeah!  
Shino: it was so random….  
Neji: everyone was going, "huh?" and "what does plywood have anything to do with it?"  
Sakura: yup…

Sasuke: I have a very weird story.  
Naruto: WHAT?!  
Sasuke: I set up this camera in Akatsuki. Itachi and Kisame's room to be precise. but I had already killed Itachi, so it was technically Kisame and Zetsu's. and I was watching the video.  
Ino: so?  
Sasuke: ok, someone made this avatar with Itachi moving his hair out of his face, and there was a pink Herbal Essence bottle in the bottom left corner. the text read, "only you can make me feel as smooth as silk", or something gay like that. (can't find it on google, click on this link: /sasuke8383 It's not neopet related. then scroll down to the 5th section, go almost all the way down before you hit the big Sasuke pictures. the avatar is pinkish)  
sakura: uh….  
Sasuke: and then, Kisame opened it, and started screaming as if the devil was after him.  
everyone: O.O  
Sasuke: then Zetsu goes, what? and then sees the picture at the computer and laughs like crazy. then Pein and Konan come in, see the picture, and start laughing. Kisame yells, "IT'S NOT FUNNY!!"  
Neji: ok…..then what?  
Sasuke: believe it or not, Deidara pops up, or his soul, anyway. then goes, "how's life, yeah?" Pein and Konan leave the room. then Deidara looks at the avatar, and starts laughing, saying, "sorry man, but I can't help it, yeah!"  
Naruto: and then?  
Sasuke: Itachi pops up, or his soul does. then he looks at the avatar. guess what his reaction was.  
Ino: he spazed out?  
Sasuke: no.  
lee: he bashed the computer?  
Sasuke: no.  
Shikamaru: he must have done something totally opposite of what you'd think he'd do, right?  
Sasuke: yes.  
Tenten: (I just realized she hasn't talked the whole entire chapter) so, what did he do?  
Sasuke: I'm going to sound hyper, but here goes. he said, "like, OMG. this is like a dream come true! I've always wanted to be on a herbal essence ad!" (does a perfect teen girl imitation)  
Kakashi: and you say I'm weird.  
Sakura: be quiet. then what?  
Sasuke: well, then Deidara goes, "what the hell is wrong with you Itachi?" and then Itachi goes, "THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH ME!!" and starts crying like a girl. it was so awkward.  
everyone: O.O  
Sasuke: and then Kisame says, "what happened to you?" and then Deidara and Itachi leave. it was weird.

Kurenai: well well well. it's getting late.  
the teens: fine………  
Sasuke: as the teacher said, we have to go.  
Sakura: you are watching Leaf Shinobi. Ja!

101010101010101010101

"we're going to head off to our individual rooms." Kakashi said. "and WE get to choose the sleeping arrangements." all of the teens groaned in despair. everyone trudged off to their wonderful (kinda sorta, not really) rooms.

--

sorry about the delay! I was vacationing on the beach and Sea World and didn't bring my stuff with me. the next 4 chapters will be VERY good. I PROMISE. R&R!!

-K-chan


	9. Chapter 9: An Argument About Snoring

Leaf Shinobi

--

Hinata: K-chan doesn't own us…..  
k-chan: Kishimoto does……I wish I did own Naruto though….. (  
--

An Argument About Snoring  
--

"I don't like the sound of this…" Kiba whined as he entered the suite. Tiny kitchen, pretty big bathroom, 2 queen sized beds, a living room, nothing special. "too bad, we're going to have to go with Kurenai's plan," Shino stated quietly. "Shino's right," Hinata added softly.

after a long wait, the sleeping arrangements were announced. "Shino and Kiba will take one bed, and Hinata and I will take the other," Kurenai said. Shino and Kiba groaned simultaneously in despair. "Shino's bugs might kill me in the dead of night!!" Kiba protested. Kurenai stared at her student with renewed interest. "really?" she inquired with an amused tone. "YES!!" Kiba yelled. meanwhile, Shino said, "no." Hinata didn't really have any problems with the arrangement.

"you know Shino hates me!!" Kiba shouted, his voice growing more panicky by the minute. "no he doesn't." Kurenai said. "I don't hate you, but you just get on my nerves," Shino explained. "and you snore," he added. "DO NOT!!" Kiba retorted. "it's true, you do," Shino replied monotonously. "last time we went c-camping, you were snoring." Hinata said quietly. "r-really loud." she added. "THANKS FOR THE SUPPORT, HINATA!!" Kiba yelled, frustrated that even his own girlfriend wouldn't back him up. "YOU'RE SUCH A GREAT FRIEND!" Hinata looked down at her feet.

Akamaru whined. (translation: it's true, you do snore) "NOW YOU TELL ME!!" Kiba shouted. Akamaru cowered in a corner of the room. "Kiba, calm down," Kurenai said. "WHY IS THE WORLD AGAINST ME TODAY?!" Kiba then stormed off to a closet and slammed the door shut. "I don't intend on coming out for a LONG time." he grumbled inside his tiny closet, punching a wall at the same time. Kurenai sighed. Hinata went to the sofa and took a book out and started reading. Shino began walking around, looking for something to do.

30 minutes of eerie silence later…..

after 10 years, (nah, it's only 30 minutes) Kiba FINALLY came out of the closet. he still looked grouchy though. "done with sorting out your emotions?" Kurenai inquired as she looked up from her newspaper (YES, newspaper. you would have never thought that they had NEWSPAPER). "I guess so," Kiba muttered, rolling his eyes in an annoyed fashion (not that you'd do it in any other way though). and now, team 8 was officially bored as at team.

"well, I guess I'll go take a shower," Hinata said out of the blue, while the others just stared into open space. she then quickly walked out of the slightly tense atmosphere. Shino and Kiba just glared at each other, while Kurenai returned to her newspaper. then Kiba randomly threw up his hands, and said, "this trip is so POINTLESS!!" "why don't we search the drawers to see if there are any games that people left behind?" Kurenai suggested, obviously disliking the big conflict that occurred just because of Kiba's snoring thing.

very reluctantly, the boys embarked on their 'mission'. Hinata soon joined her teammates in their 'search for a board game' mission. then Kiba left to take his shower, so it was just Shino and Hinata slowly searching (yes, they were actually searching, unlike Kiba who PRETENDED to search) for a game.

the group was unsuccessful, just like they were when they were looking for the Bikochu. although their team specializes in finding things, when finding bugs, or games, they SUCKED. well actually, the loss of the Bikochu wasn't their fault, it was NARUTO'S fault, because he farted when it was hatching. so then it always followed Naruto's stinkin' ass. which, by the way, is a good way to hunt the dobe down when you want to kill him. but ANYWAYS, back to the story!

so then, our favorite team (not really, depends on your opinion) finally concurred to watch TV for the rest of the night. there was a catch though: Kurenai got to choose the channel and the teens COULDN'T object or argue. so then she turned it to Lifetime, and the boys groaned in disgust. _OUT OF ALL CHANNELS, SHE CHOSE THIS?!_ Kiba thought, raging on the inside. _the discovery channel would have been better!!_ Shino just sat there, staring at the floor. _on second thought, no TV would have been better._ Kiba mused. Hinata resorted to staring at the ceiling until bedtime.

All three of them were thinking the same thing: _WHEN IS THIS DAY GOING TO BE OVER?!_

--

TA-DA!! team Gai and 10 will be featured on the same chapter. because I know they will be pretty short chapters. so short, you'll probably flame me. BUT DON'T. R&R!! team 7's chapter will be the best!!

-K-chan


	10. Chapter 10: Bored Games

Leaf Shinobi

Leaf Shinobi

--

K-chan: Neji, DON'T SAY IT.  
Neji: destinyKW doesn't own us. not that I care, but still.  
K-chan: NOOOO!! Neji, SHUT UP.  
Neji: (shrugs) I'm older than you.  
k-chan: SO?! I'M THE AUTHOR!! I HAVE HIGHER AUTHORITY, SO HA!  
Neji shrugs and walks away.  
k-chan: COWARD!! LOSER!!  
--

Bored Games

--

"what a drag," Shikamaru muttered as they entered the room. "this is SO troublesome…" Choji just stood there munching on his chips (again) as Ino sighed and plopped herself on the sofa. the room arrangement was the same as everyone else's. "well, i don't know what your sensei would do, so I'll put Shikamaru in charge of deciding." Iruka stated. "this will be our little secret, ok?" he asked warily. having taught this team before at the academy, well all of Rookie 9 before, he didn't fell like listening to Shikamaru and Ino argue. Choji shrugged in neutrality and Ino groaned, whining at the same time. "let's make this short and simple: Shikamaru started. "Ino and Choji in one bed, and Iruka and I in another."

"WHAT!?" Ino yelled. Iruka sighed. "BUT I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME!!" Ino said loudly (VERY LOUDLY, that is). "I do, but I just don't feel like sleeping with you." Shikamaru replied bluntly. Ino died. Just kidding. she rolled her eyes in disgust at the stupid reason that her boyfriend gave. "fine, fine, fine. bastard."

with team Gai…..

"Lee and I will go in one bed so we can discuss the powers of youthfulness!!" Gai yelled overenthusiastically. then he and lee started doing their trademark gay hugging. Neji and Tenten sighed in disgust. "so that basically means that Tenten and I will share a bed," Neji pointed out while the two were doing their 'student and teacher' activity. he got no response. "never mind." "let's find something to do…..i'm bored." Tenten stated.

then the couple began to look for something slightly degrading but a little entertaining to do. then they found the following board games: monopoly, Parcheesi, chess, and checkers. at that time, there was a knock on the door.

the visitor was Shikamaru. "do you guys have a refuge or something, because Ino's about to go on her killer mode, which is NEVER a good thing." he said. "and I'm looking for something to do," he added. "we found, Parcheesi, checkers, monopoly, and chess," Tenten listed as if she learned them by rote. "take your pick," Shikamaru ended up taking the chess set because it was the closest thing to Shogi that was there. then he left.

with team 10….

Shikamaru slowly came back into the room. Ino was still quite mad over the sleeping arrangement, but busied herself with a horribly arranged bouquet that was on the table when they arrived. I mean, she IS a Yamanaka after all. Choji was being a potato couch (as usual), and Iruka was reading (more or less) a textbook that would be used in the Academy starting next year. Shikamaru tiredly put down the set and asked, "Iruka, want to play?" Iruka obliged and the two began to play, although both of them knew that Shikamaru would win EVERY SINGLE STINKIN' ROUND. but ah heck, they don't care.

with the Neji, Tenten, lee, and Gai….

Tenten and Neji settle in monopoly, the old CLASSIC. just as Neji was dealing the dough, lee and Gai had stopped their hugging and joined in the fun-without asking. this, of course, ticked off Neji and Tenten, but they decided to let the idiots be. then they started to buy and pay the bank and each other. Gai and lee, who SUCKED at the game, took the cheapest things: Baltic avenue and that other purple one….(I forgot the name…..). Neji had dominated the Boardwalk and the…um….uh….OTHERBLUEONE! (yes, I haven't sent the board for ages…sorry…) Tenten had conquered some of the mid-price properties, but was none the less ahead of the green freaks.

in the end, lee and Gai became broke from paying HUGE wads of money for the rent on Tenten's or Neji's properties (especially Neji). and then it was just Neji and Tenten battling it out to make the other broke. in the end, Neji won, as usual.

And then the two teams kept going at their board games for the rest of the night. Which makes me remember that Kiba, Shino, and Hinata could've came to team Gai's room to complete their 'mission', but they were either too lazy, or Hinata didn't feel like talking to her cousin. but OH WELLS!

--

Sorry about the long wait……I was sorta on writer's block. But for those of you who stuck with me, thank you being patient to the Lazy Author, a. k. a. destinyKW. Domo arigato. I hopefully will be back to speed working on team 7's chapter. just a warning though: it's slightly lemon. not really. I might need to change the rating soon….

-K-chan


	11. Chapter 11: Team 7's Chaos and?

Leaf Shinobi

Leaf Shinobi

--

K-chan: I don't own Naruto.  
Neji: and now you say it. last chapter, you basically went on rampage when I said that. wow.  
K-chan: Neji, shut your face!  
(Neji gives K-chan his most quizzical look and exits)  
K-chan: he needs to work on confronting people. (grin grin) oh yeah, this chapter has a little bit of lemon….just a warning.

--

Team 7's Normal Chaos….and?

--

our motley crew of team 7 trudged into the room. joy,Sakura thought. "just to make this simple, Sakura and Sasuke, and Naruto and I," Kakashi said in a bored tone. Sasuke sighed. "works with me," he stated, while returning Naruto's impaling death glare. then the two comrades gladly continued on with their interminable death glare contest. Not really gladly though. but in the end, Sasuke won, as usual.

the rest of the night flew by fast. Kakashi was just reading his porny Icha Icha as usual, while Naruto spent most of his time doing random annoying things, such as opening and closing the balcony door, squashing then fluffing a pillow, pestering Sakura who was reading something, prodding Sasuke over and over while he updated their website, and opening and closing the shower curtain over and OVER again. so basically, his routine was like so: door, pillow, pester, prod, curtain, repeat until someone blows up (a. k. a. Sakura). after Naruto's 5th round of opening, closing, pestering, prodding, squashing, and fluffing, Sakura got up to go take her shower. there goes the pestering. AND the curtain. now his list was down to: door, pillow, prod, repeat.

after Naruto's third round of doing his new routine, Sakura stepped out and Sasuke got in. now his list went like so: door, pillow, pester, repeat. Sakura decided to give up on her book since Naruto was being SO distracting. now that she thought about it, it was WAY too cold in up north to be wearing short shorts and a cami for pajamas. so much for that.

after a few rounds of Naruto's stupid activities, Sakura decided to entertain herself by hitting Naruto across the room while he was fluffing a pillow. that made him stop. "Sakura….you didn't have to do it THAT hard….." Naruto groaned as he struggled to get out of the dent Sakura had made in the wall. well, the dent was more like a CRATER. "oww…." satisfied, Sakura frolicked (not really) back to the sofa and started reading again. Sasuke then stepped out of the bathroom, in a black t-shirt and gray shorts.

just as Sasuke was about to sit down on the sofa next to Sakura, Naruto asked, "Is there anyplace that I can get ice?" the others (including Kakashi) stared at him in confusion. "why do you need ice?" Sasuke inquired, slowly shaking his head left to right. "so I can have an ice bath!" Naruto responded, oblivious to how stupid that sounded. "now why do you need an ICE bath?" Sasuke interrogated. "because sitting in a car for hours on end makes my butt hurt, so I need an ice bath." Naruto reasoned. "so where can I get ice?"

"look at the map near the door," Sasuke said through gritted teeth. "I can't read it," "WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T READ IT?!" Sasuke stormed over to ze map and angrily pointed out the location of the ice machine in the hallway. "oooohhhh…….." "now go get a key, and go get your ice," Sakura stated, her patience running low. "OK!" Naruto left, slamming the door shut. and guess what? he forgot the key.

in the hallway…..

Shikamaru was on his way to team Gai's room to get a game (chess). "hey there Shikamaru!!" Naruto waved. _how troublesome,_ Shikamaru thought. "..hi." then Naruto ran along, trying to find the ice machine, not knowing that it was the other way. he'll find out soon enough.

Sakura and Sasuke sat on the sofa, randomly flipping channels. Kakashi went back to reading Icha Icha. (my warning kicks in NOW) After a minute or so, Sasuke had an impulse to snog Sakura. so…..without warning, he leaned over and kissed her.

With Naruto…..

"where's the ice machine!!" Naruto yelled in frustration. "Sasuke-teme lied!! there's no freakin' ice machine!!" he looked at a map conveniently placed in the area in which he was standing. "wait a minute…..it's the OTHER WAY!!" he said very loudly. then he began to jog down the hall way. little did he know how long of a walk it was to the ice machine. but then again, who cares?

"come to papa!" Naruto grinned in mischief as he approached the machine. he quickly filled the bucket he was carrying with ice, and then skipped back to the room, losing a few ice cubes on the way. it's already a miracle that he even remembers the room number.

Kakashi was so engrossed in his Icha Icha that he didn't know that his students were making out on a sofa. how unobservant. meanwhile, outside, Naruto had just realized that he forgot the key. but then again, he probably wouldn't know how to open the door because it was a card, not an actual key. the closer you get to the land of snow, the more high tech it gets. so there he was, pounding on the door yelling his head off. in the meantime, Shikamaru, Shino, and Neji stepped out of their doors.

"hey Naruto, could you keep it down? your voice makes even playing chess with a person who's bad at it troublesome," said you know who. "why are you even yelling anyway?" Neji questioned haughtily (he still has some of his superiority complex attitude, although he's stopped being such an ass) "shouldn't you have a key for you own room?" "er, uh…" "if you forgot a key, I'm REALLY disappointed," Shino commented bluntly. then the threesome returned to their rooms, leaving Naruto out in the hallway.

Naruto then began to pound on the door and yell again. "YOU GUYS, OPEN THE DOOR!! MY ICE IS MELTING!!" no response. "Sakura-chan, could you PLEASE open the door? I won't annoy you for a month!!" silence. "KAKASHI-SENSEI,.OPEN THE DOOR NOW PLEASE!!"

after 15 minutes or so of yelling, Naruto's voice began to feel hoarse. he was about to lose all of his pitiful hope when Kakashi FINALLY came to the door. he's chronically tardy for a reason, you know. "thank you so much!!" Naruto grinned. "no problem," Kakashi said, although he was thinking, _why did he have to ruin my reading time?! WHY?!_ after all that time, Naruto's ice had turned into water, but Naruto didn't feel like going on another round for ice, because that would take WAY too long.

when he walked into the living room portion of the suite to drop off his 'ice', he almost dropped it. the sight freaked him out. there as plain as day, was Sasuke looming right over Sakura, smirking as he kissed her neck. then Naruto spazzed. "WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON?!" he screamed, backing into the wall behind him. that was when the couple noticed him, and also freaked. "NARUTO, YOU IDIOT!!" Sakura yelled, blushing as she immediately rolled off the sofa, as if trying to erase any on what she had been doing for the past 20 minutes.

"some sense of privacy," Sasuke muttered as he stood up, and stalked to the other side of the room, cheeks slightly pink. both teens were obviously ticked off from their interruption. "….." "night!"

--

Right…..about the 'lemon'. didn't happen. didn't have the guts. (sweatdrops) you may flame on this chapter. See ya soon!!

-K-chan


	12. Chapter 12: We're Getting 'Teched'

Leaf Shinobi

Leaf Shinobi

--

K-chan: hi guys! sorry about the LONG wait last chap.

Koiyuki: Destiny-K doesn't own us. Or Circuit City. Or any of the camera companies mentioned.

K-chan: I wish I did though…..oh yeah, this chapter will be short.

--

We're Getting 'Teched'

--

the next morning, Team 7 dropped by Circuit City to get a more 'techy' cam. meanwhile, Sasuke was making an episode using his cell phone's camera.

101010101010101010101

Sasuke: Hello. we are now in Circuit City to get a new camera that will replace our horrible crappy web cams. This episode is being taken on my cell phone.

Sakura: what do you guys think of this Sony? looks pretty sharp….

Naruto: NAH, this one is better!! (holds up an orange camera that was just OK)

Sasuke: uh, NO. That is a HORRIBLE camera.

Sakura: This Canon looks nice too…

101010101010101010101

After one to two hours of walking through the aisles, our crew finally came to a decision. since cells can't record long videos, Sasuke cut it into two segments.

101010101010101010101

Sasuke: we're back. Now, to reveal what our purchase shall be….

Naruto: WE'RE GOING TO GET THE PANASONIC!!

Sakura: it has an 8X zoom, has a touch screen, comes with a glare filter, and….um…uh….READ THE MANUAL!!

(Sasuke sweatdrops with a 'what the flip' look on face)

All: Ok then, next time, we will be interviewing the one and only Koiyuki of the Land of Snow! BYE!

101010101010101010101

"now for the questions….." Sakura muttered as they re-entered the hotel room. Then the three began to brainstorm for the next day's interview.

--

Short and boring….YES. next chap will be up in a jiffy.! R&R!!

-K-chan


	13. Chapter 13: The Interviewing of Koiyuki

Leaf Shinobi

Leaf Shinobi

--

K-chan: I don't own Naruto……anyway……HAPPY SUMMER PPL!!

--

The Interviewing of Koiyuki

--

the next day, team 7 went to the feudal lord's (or lady's I should say) palace to interview Koiyuki.

"Hey there! Long time no see!" Koiyuki shouted as she spotted team 7. the three waved. while Sakura and Koiyuki began to chat, Sasuke began to set up the camera. "ok, we're ready to go," he said.

101010101010101010101

Sasuke: welcome to episode 'whatever you think it should be'.  
Sakura: we are now in the Land of snow, interviewing Yukie Fujikaze, a.k.a. Koiyuki, feudal lord-or should I say LADY of the Land of Snow.  
Koiyuki: I'm not picky about that stuff……  
Naruto: ON TO THE QUESTIONS!!  
Sakura: ok. so Koiyuki, how do you like the Land of Snow?  
Koiyuki: I love it. The people, the land, everything here is so peaceful!  
Sasuke: what's your next project as a feudal lord-um, lady?  
Koiyuki: hmm…..most likely creating more alliances with other countries.  
Naruto: and as an actress?  
Koiyuki: well, my manager is steering me away from the Princess Fuun series. we're moving into more 'mature' roles. at least that's the way he puts it.  
(Sakura and Sasuke grin)  
(Sasuke checks laptop for messages)

Sasuke: here's something someone wants to ask you. this is from skibunny100. it says, are there any ski resorts in the land of snow? as you can tell from my UN, I LOVE SKIING!!  
Koiyuki: well actually, there is ONE. near the summit, anyway. Glacier Mountain.  
Sakura: well skibunny100, you have your answer. BOMBS AWAY TO GLACIER MOUNTAIN!!  
(Everyone sweatdrops)  
Naruto: that was random…..  
Sakura: heheh….sorry about that…..

Sasuke: next question…from um….uh…  
Sakura: what is it?  
Naruto: EW! that dude's UN is obsessed-w/women!! GROSS!  
Sasuke: my point exactly. anyways…..the question is…..are you single? (cough HACK)  
Koiyuki: I will not answer that question.  
Sakura: GOOD. geez, that was SO perverted……ugh….  
Naruto: I know….  
(Koiyuki shudders)

_POP!_  
(Sasuke looks at message)  
Sasuke: its from blondebeau923. that's Ino…it says, "WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU GUYS?!" I'm guessing she didn't know we were interviewing Koiyuki-sama.  
(Sakura takes laptop from Sasuke)  
Sakura: (typing) we..are…at…the…feudal…lord's…palace. (hits enter)  
_POP!  
_Naruto: she said, "why the heck are you there?"  
Sakura: to….interview….the…..feudal…..lord…oh shoot-lady.  
_POP!_  
Sasuke: (reading) for leaf shinobi right?  
Sakura: YES, GOD KUSO, INO!!  
(Ino is shown to have logged off)

Sakura: well, there's that.  
Koiyuki: was there anything else you wanted to ask?  
Naruto: I guess not…  
Sasuke: nope.  
Sakura: thank you for letting us (clears throat) barge in for a while.  
Koiyuki: it was no problem, not at all.  
all: This is Leaf Shinobi. Bye!

101010101010101010101

Sasuke began to clean up. Kakashi soon walked in. "what are you doing here?!" Naruto inquired. "seeing that you guys are cleaning up anyway, we've decided to hit Glacier Mountain in about an hour," Kakashi reported calmly. "go put you equipment back in the room and I'll meet you outside the hotel," "Hai."

--

our crew's off to the ski resort!! next chapter will be an OMG! crossover. R&R!!

-K-chan


	14. Chapter 14: What the Heck is Going On!

Leaf Shinobi

Leaf Shinobi

Belldandy: K-chan doesn't own Oh My Goddess! or Naruto.  
K-chan: I wish I did……OMG! is such a great series…..and then again, I don't own Spongebob, which I would never want to own in the first place. what a bunch of losers…

Hitting the Slopes-What the Heck is Going On?!

The 3 teens dashed downstairs to meet Kakashi in the lobby. "I'M READY!!" Naruto yelled, doing a perfect-yet annoying imitation of Spongebob. Sasuke and Sakura sweatdropped. a few minutes later, they arrived at Glacier Mountain (background music: TA DA!!).

after they purchased equipment and everything, and were putting on their shoes, Kakashi asked, "so, who knows how to ski?" Sasuke slowly raised his hand. Sakura and Naruto shook their sorry heads side to side.

at the café in the resort….

"Where have you guys been?!" Ino shouted as they entered. "don't tell me you already forgot, porker!" Sakura retorted. Ino rolled her eyes. "interviewing the feudal lord? what an interesting outing," Shikamaru commented. "I just finished reading your texts," Tenten said, handing Ino's cell back. "well then, what are we waiting for?!" Gai yelled. "LET'S GO!!" the green idiots shouted with WAY to much enthusiasm. they dashed off to the skiing classes. the others slowly followed them, grumbling quietly along the way.

when the others finally caught up to the 'youthful idiots', they had already signed up EVERYBODY for lessons, even though Sasuke and a few others already knew how to ski. "this is SO troublesome," Shikamaru complained. Shikamaru, Sasuke, Neji, Shino, Hinata, Iruka, Kakashi, and Kurenai already knew how to ski. that was exactly half of the people who came. but still, they were forced to take the class.

their teacher's name was Keichi. "ok, so now we're going to learn how to walk up a hill without falling on your ass." he announced. so then they started walking sideways to get up the small hill. and then all that other stuff. (A/N: just so you know, I SUCK at skiing)

after the class, they all began to hit the green circle slopes while the teens who already knew how to ski went on the diamonds. well, Hinata went with the other girls. anyways….they had done a couple of the diamond slopes and were getting bored.

a couple meters away…

"Skuld, what now?" a woman with moon-white hair inquired in a bored tone. Her dark skin contrasted with her pale hair that cascaded down to her waist. The markings on her face and her eyes were violet. She appeared to be in her mid-twenties. "introducing, the new ski mode on Banpei!!" the girl who appeared to be Skuld shouted happily. She was about 12 with midnight black hair that flowed down to her knees and had fair skin. her eyes were a color between brown and black and the markings on her face were also violet.

with a flourish, Skuld took off a cloth from the object that it covered. there it was, an android with ski blades on its feet. "Skuld, that's marvelous!" there happened to be a third person. She had her chestnut-colored hair in a ponytail. her eyes were brown, and she too, had violet markings on her fair skin. she appeared to be in her early twenties. "Belldandy, you always say things are marvelous," the eldest muttered. "are you insulting me, Urd?" Skuld asked, rage lighting up in her eyes. "maybe," Urd said. just as Skuld's rage imploded, Belldandy said, "oh look! there are some men over there (she means Neji, Sasuke, and Shika). maybe we should go talk to them!" without hesitation, she walked over.

"hello!" Belldandy chirped. "um, hi?" Shikamaru responded dully. "so, what brings you three here?" Belldandy persisted, not paying attention to how irritable Shikamaru sounded. "touring around, that's all," Neji replied with a slightly cold tone. Shino just stood like a rock. "what's it to you?" Sasuke asked. Urd then strolled over. "don't mind her, that's just the way she is." she explained. "always being friendly to everyone. it's always been like that," "ok…."

with the girls….

"WHEE!!" Ino yelled as she went down a blue square slope. Tenten, Ino, and Hinata soon followed. "maybe we should go see what Shika and the others are doing," Ino said thoughtfully. "but the thing is, where do you think they are?" Tenten inquired. "I think that Neji would most likely go hit the diamonds," Hinata offered quietly. "well, what are we waiting for?" Sakura smiled.

by the time the girls got there, Skuld was riding Banpei around in circles around Urd to drive her nuts. Sasuke and the others were just standing there. Urd finally became so annoyed that she yelled, "URD BOLT!!" promptly, a lightning bolt zapped Banpei, and Skuld barely got out of the way. all the Naruto characters stared in shock. "NNNOOO!!" Skuld yelled. then she fixed Banpei up quickly and began to ride him after Urd.

as Urd was running, she yelled, "Sigel, HELP!!" immediately, a girl that was about 8 skied over. her waist long black hair was tied in 2 pigtails. her eyes were blue. "can you give me a ride?" Urd asked as she ran from Skuld and Banpei. "ok!" Sigel reached down to her shoes and pushed a button. "passenger function on!" she shouted. on the back of each shoe, an extra ski blade slid out. "hop on!" there was obviously something weird about Sigel.

then team Skuld and Banpei chased team Urd and Sigel. all the Naruto characters just watched the show. the girls randomly began sharing snowman poop, or chocolate dipped marshmallows. about 20 minutes later, Sigel shouted, "What a great time for the glaze to run out!!" and then she stopped, took out a bottle and sponge, and began to glaze the ski blades. mean while, Urd decided it was kinda stupid to be running from Skuld and yelled, "URD BOLT!!" once again, Banpei was fizzled as Skuld leaped out of harm's way.

with the idiots who DON'T know how to ski…

"I'm doing it!!" Naruto yelled as he slid down the blue square slope. "NOW YOU KNOW THE POWER OF YOUTH!!" the two youth obsessed people cried. just as they said that, Naruto began rolling down the hill until he became a giant snowball. "…" "Gai, I think you just jinxed him," Iruka teased, chuckling as Naruto popped out from his snowball shelter.

in the meantime, Ino was dragging their new friends over to where the idiots were. "why hello.." Kurenai stated. "hello," the 3 replied. while Gai was having a nosebleed, Neji promptly knocked him out and made him fly across the resort. lee went to find his teach while everyone else sweatdropped. "yeah I know, he has issues…" Naruto muttered. "I'm guessing he's the perv," Urd said in a casual manner. "I'm getting the same idea," Sigel concluded. " "actually, Kakashi's the real perv…" Naruto mentioned. that earned him a hard swat on the head from Kakashi's Icha Icha book.

minutes later, a poof of smoke appeared. "something's going on," Kiba muttered (first line of the chap!!). a woman who appeared to be Urd's age emerged from the smoke. she had curly blonde hair that went to her feet. her eyes were brown, and she had red markings on her face. "long time no see," she said. "Mara," Urd whispered. "well, what are we waiting for, LET'S SKI!" Mara yelled. then Urd linked hands with Mara and off they went to the slopes.

minutes later, you could here the screams of, "LIGHTNING STRIKE!" and "HELLFIRE THUNDER BLAST!" and many others. lightning and thunder boomed around the whole resort. "um…" the Naruto cast stared. "maybe I should explain…." Belldandy motioned for them to follow.

they ended up quiet far corner of the café. "what's going on?" Sasuke asked, shifting his gaze to see if anyone was eavesdropping or looking. "you might not believe us, but we're goddesses." Skuld said bluntly. "and Mara's a demon." all the Naruto characters were like this: O.o "ok…" Iruka mumbled. by that time, Gai had come back. "no wonder your so beautiful!! it's because you're a godd-" Neji promptly stabbed Gai's pressure point and made him lose consciousness again. everyone but Belldandy rolled their eyes.

a few minutes later, Keichi, Mara, and Urd joined the others. "hey K-1," Urd said in greetings. "didn't think you'd get back so fast," "well, it's a VOLUNTEER job after all," he mumbled. Naruto squinted at Keichi. "wait a minute, weren't you our skiing teach?" he asked. "yep." "so you guys took skiing lessons from him?" Urd concluded. "I would have never guessed. who woulda thunk it?" "agreed," Mara wearily stated. both goddess and demon were bruised and tired from their skirmish.

soon enough, their day was over. the leaf shinobi (hence the show name, LOL) retreated to their hotel early so they could depart early back home.

first crossover fic. YAY ME! may the next chap come soon! R&R.

-K-chan


	15. Chapter 15: Food Bank

Leaf Shinobi

Leaf Shinobi

Naruto: K-chan doesn't own us!!  
K-chan: ughs…..oh yes, the definition was from www . dictionary . com. (this was the only way i could type it w/o having it erased)

Food Bank

as the crew was walking past Ichiraku's, Naruto saw a sign. "hey, there's a food bank happening this weekend!!" "ok…" Sakura muttered. "maybe we could get people to donate on our web show," Sasuke suggested. "not a bad idea," Sakura said. "donate?!" Naruto yelled. "it's a food BANK." "yeah, precisely!!" Sakura shouted in his ear.

"but I thought a food bank was where you deposit and withdraw food from you BANK account," Naruto retorted. the other 2 fell on their faces. "I'm surrounded in a world full of idiots," Sasuke muttered. "no, you idiot!!" Sakura yelled, her face all red. "it's where you donate food to for poor people to eat!!" "OH!!" Naruto said loudly in understanding. "geez…"

101010101010101010101

Sasuke: hi. this is our special 'food bank' episode.  
Sakura: we're just doing a little educational report for you people about the horrible things happening to people in the world.  
Naruto: that sounds kinda depressing….  
(Sakura punches Naruto hard)  
Sakura: AW, SHUDDUP!!  
(Sasuke sweatdrops)  
Sasuke: anyways, we're talking about the starvation happening in the small countries where the average income is low.  
Sakura: yes, indeed.  
Naruto: but I still don't get it…..  
Sasuke: listen dobe, a food bank is NOT an account to PUT food in and out of. a food bank IS a place where you DONATE food that will GO to the NEEDY. (Sasuke's actually being generous!! O,O)

Naruto: fine, be that way,  
Sakura: by the way, if you would like to donate but are far away, send us a message on our UN and send your donation to us at 2032 Park Lane. we'll be sure to put the donation under you name.  
Sasuke: now about the needy….  
Naruto: wasn't there like someone who was gonna do the report?  
Sakura: i guess not…  
Sasuke: nope….

Sakura: I guess we'll have to improvise some….  
Sasuke: some of the things we say in our improvisation may be incorrect, so our apologies.  
Naruto: there are people in the land of the sea who starve!!  
Sakura: and how do you know that?  
Naruto: um…uh….  
Sasuke: SMART. you have to back up your statement, dobe.  
Naruto: THEN NEVER MIND!!  
Sakura: well, even in our large village of Konoha, there are few people who are in poverty and aren't qualified to get good jobs.  
Sasuke: also after the great ninja wars, people have spent much of their money to pay for the hospital bills, leaving them little to use for food and housing.  
Naruto: and where's your proof for that?  
Sasuke: the WAR, you IDIOT. (rolls eyes)  
Naruto: OOHH!!

Sakura: well, what's your side of the story?  
(Sasuke and Sakura look expectantly at Naruto)  
Sasuke: oh wait, I forgot. you don't have a part. Right…..  
Naruto: what did you say teme!!  
Sakura: WHATEVER. what do you have to say?  
Naruto: JUST DONATE!!  
Sasuke: that works….

Sasuke: let's call Shikamaru for the heck of it to give us the definition of food bank.  
(Sasuke takes out his cell and calls Shikamaru using the speaker)  
Shikamaru: what do you want? you just woke me up….on the ONE day that my mom actually lets me sleep in. this better have a good cause…..  
Sakura: no, not really.  
Shikamaru: what's Sakura doing there?  
Naruto: RISE AND SHINE!!  
Shikamaru: oh. you guys are on air.  
Naruto: hey! you didn't address me!!  
Sasuke: (ignores Naruto's comment) yes. now could you read the definition of 'food bank' for us from the dictionary?  
Shikamaru: why can't you do it yourself, god dammit…  
Sakura: (in good girl voice) because you do it better!!  
Shikamaru: urgh..FINE.  
Naruto: YAY!!  
Shikamaru: an agency, group, or center that collects food and distributes it to the needy. THERE. now good bye.  
(call ends)

all: ok then, that does it. bye for now!

101010101010101010101

"do you think anyone will donate?" Sakura asked as Sasuke turned the camera off and began to post it on their site. "yeah," Sasuke replied. "many people visit everyday, and out of that many people, there's bound to be at least a handful that visit each day that will donate,"

whaddya think? the next few chapters will be totally unrelated, but stay tuned!!

-K-chan


	16. Chapter 16: A Day in the Kitchen

Leaf Shinobi

Leaf Shinobi

Sasuke: destinyKW doesn't own us….so you might as well forget it.  
K-chan: EXCUSE ME?!  
Sakura: Sasuke, she's only 13, be NICE!!  
Sasuke: you already know why I'm grumpy, so will you just stop?

A Day in the Kitchen

Sasuke looked quite ticked off. then again, so did Sakura. today was D-day, doomsday, cheesecake day. after debating on what to do for the next episode, Sakura suggested it should be a cooking episode. and then the blonde and rosette agreed to make cheesecake. OH JOY. Sakura made a very big mistake.

the cheesecake they were about to put in the oven (to pull out in 5 minutes to show viewers) was messed up due to Naruto's mistakes. now there was egg, crumbs, milk, and cream cheese all over Sasuke's kitchen. ALL BECAUSE OF NARUTO. here's a summary of all the chaos that was put in to make TEH cheesecake.

1) Naruto forgot to melt the butter, so it took a whole lot more work to put the crust together.

2) Naruto put the electric mixer on HIGH instead of MEDIUM, so the contents of the 'cheese' part of the cheesecake flew around the room.  
3) because of the ingredients all around the room, a mad Sakura and Sasuke had to clean up the hazardous spills.  
4) as Sasuke was pouring in what was rest of the 'cheese' part onto the crust, Naruto bumped into him, causing Sasuke to spill some of it.

now everyone was cleaning up in a rush so the cake wouldn't get done before they were going to "put" the 2nd one into the oven. as soon as they finished, Sakura yelled, "Naruto, stay out of the kitchen!!" "fine…" "be a sports announcer, anything BUT in the kitchen," Sasuke added.

101010101010101010101

Sasuke: hello.  
Sakura: we're going to make a simple easy cheesecake for today's episode.  
Naruto: kinda like the food network channel's cooking shows!!  
Sasuke: I forgot to mention that Naruto is banned from kitchen due to the mess he made a few minutes ago that we had to hastily clean up to start the show. so, you will be hearing his random commentaries through out the episode.

Sakura: anyway, on to the cheesecake!! ok, you'll need ½ stick of butter, about 1 ½ cups crushed graham cracker, 1 ½ packs of cream cheese, 1 egg, ½ cup milk, and ½ cup sugar.  
(A/N: these measurements are most likely wrong, so don't follow my recipe for I have only made no-bake cheesecake) also, preheat your oven to 375 degrees.  
Naruto: SUGAR!!  
(Sakura and Sasuke sweatdrop)  
Sasuke: first, soften the butter your way and put it in a mixing bowl. then add the crushed graham cracker and 1/8 cups sugar to the bowl. (puts in ingredients) (thinks: _this is so stupid…_)  
Sakura: mix it and crush it with a pastry blender or a fork until all lumps of butter are gone. (mixes as shown)

Sasuke: now press your 'crust' into a baking pan using the fork, either a 9 by 11 or round one. (presses crust onto round pan)

Sakura: now for the filling. get a new mixing bowl and put in your 1 ½ packs of cream cheese in. crack in the egg, and pour in the milk. (puts in ingredients) now take an electric mixer and put it on MEDIUM and mix these ingredients. add the sugar little by little as you go.

(Sasuke takes out mixer and mixes ingredients as Sakura says, adding sugar as he goes)  
Sasuke: when that's done, observe how thick your filling is. take a fork and take out a glob. if it just sits on the fork, it's too thick. add about 2 teaspoons of milk to the filling and mix it well. (observes filling) mine's just right. it drips a little, but isn't runny.  
Naruto: Sasuke, you're sounding very scientific…  
(Sasuke glares at Naruto)  
Sakura: now pour it into the pan on top of your graham cracker crust. (pours)

Sasuke: place it in the oven for 20-30 minutes. (places cheesecake in) here's a cheesecake I made earlier today, (takes out first cheesecake)  
Sakura: ta-da!! it's slightly messed up, but oh well. nobody's perfect after all. you can garnish your cheesecake anyway you like-fruit, chocolate swirls, crumbled cookie, even citrus zest!!  
all: well, there you go! cheesecake! this is leaf shinobi. Bye!

101010101010101010101

"one last thing…who's gonna eat it?" Sasuke asked. "well…now we have 2 WHOLE cakes…" Sakura muttered. "LET'S INVITE EVERYONE OVER TO EAT IT ON NATIONAL CHEESECAKE DAY!!" Naruto yelled. Sakura and Sasuke fell on their heads. "Naruto, national cheesecake day is on July 30th. it's only march, dobe." (A/N: although I published this chapter in june, the characters went skiing, so it's basically February at that time, so now it's early march over in their world) "cheesecake can't last that long!! even if it's for Sasuke's 1-week-belated birthday!!" (his b-day's july 23, the 30th is one week after that) Sakura yelled in frustration. Sasuke sweatdropped at the end of her statement. "but I still think we should have everyone come over to eat it," Naruto protested. "FINE!!" the other two screamed. "but not at this house," Sasuke said. "and not at mine," Sakura retorted. "fine…"

random chapter. CHEESECAKE!! I love that stuff. if you like cheesecake, review and I'll give you a HUGE slice!! d R&R!!

-K-chan

PS: I'll be out for the next 2-3 weeks, so my posting of chapters will be slow due to lack of computers and internet connection.


	17. Chapter 17: Some Words about Spam

Leaf Shinobi

Leaf Shinobi

Sasuke: destinyKW doesn't own any of us.  
K-chan: HOW MANY TIMES MUST I TELL YOU TO CALL ME K-CHAN, YOU FREAKIN' BASTARD?!  
Sasuke: only twice……I'm still counting…..  
K-chan: WHY YOU……anyways….this chapter is based on what happened with my cousin, turkeygrl, and I. it was on her account…..and many messages had a different name on them…

Some Words about Spam

on a rainy day, Sasuke decided to check his email…."what the hell….." he hadn't checked his email in a long time…..and in that time period, he had received 6000+ spam messages. here's the catch: about 90 of them had Naruto's name on them. he whipped out his cell and dialed the idiots number.

"hello?" "dobe, can you tell me what EXACTLY you've been using my email for BESIDES getting Ichiraku's discounts?" "what do you mean?" "YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT THE HECK I MEAN!!" "…..hmmm…" "now do you remember?" "coming to think of it……I did sign up for newsletters from this dieting place, an in-debt place, a botox-place….in case I needed to bribe grandma….."

_oh my god……_ Sasuke thought. _just what I needed, _as Sasuke was internally yelling at himself for letting Naruto use his email address, Naruto listed about a hundred other things. "oh yeah, and there was this dating site…..and one for gay people….." _great…….._ "I think that's it…" "well, it BETTER be, get over to my place in an hour." Sasuke muttered. then he hung up. then he called Sakura.

"hi Sasuke!" "hi….you will not believe what the heck Naruto has been using my email for…." "what did he do now?" "let's see…..besides using it for Ichiraku's discounts, he's used it for newsletters from dieting places, online dating services, one service for gay wads, some BOTOX distributor, a debt relieving agency, and about 100 other damn places that he doesn't need!" "you've got to be kidding…." "nope…100 truth…" "so….what are you going to do?" "well…I told him to come in an hour….in which I will make him manually delete every single letter….without pressing the mark all button. you know what, come over too….we can tape this and post it on Leaf Shinobi," "ok, see ya then! bye," "later,"

1 hour later……

"HEY THERE!!" Naruto yelled as Sasuke slowly opened the door. "hi." Sakura came in 2 minutes later. "ok, I'll set up the stuff….you do the intro, and Naruto, start clicking." Sakura said as she just walked in. "HUH?" Naruto had a puzzled look on his face. "what's going on?" "you'll see,"

101010101010101010101

Sasuke: how's life? sucks to be me. you see….my problem today is that NARUTO has caused me to receive SIX-THOUSAND emails in ONE month. so….to repent…he's going to manually delete every single message one by one.  
Naruto: WHAT? IT WAS ONLY 60!!  
Sakura: you can't count, can you? 6000. there are 3 zeros, not 1……  
Sasuke: here's the laptop….go delete!! HAVE FUN! not.  
Naruto: why me………..WHY?!  
(Naruto begins clicking away)  
Sasuke: now about spam….if you see someone else's name on you spam messages, it would be a GOOD idea to talk about them once you see 5 of them. because that means they have been using your email address for other reasons besides, in this case, getting Ichiraku's discounts.  
Sakura: and this is what happens to the someone. we're so evil, yet we don't care….  
Sasuke: since this is going to bore you because It'll take him HOURS to finish, we'll just stop here.  
Sakura and Sasuke: BYE!  
Naruto: HELP ME!!

101010101010101010101

"now what?" Sakura asked. it was currently 5:00 PM. "I dunno…" "why don't we go out for dinner?" Sakura suggested. "I'll just call my parents and tell them I won't be home for dinner, and we'll be set," "YAY!!" "not you," Sakura glared. "so you're gonna starve me?!" Naruto yelled, obviously panicking on not having food. "we'll bring over the boxed stuff," Sasuke assured the idiot. "see ya later," "NOO!!"

I'm back from vacation, so no fear, K-chan is here!! ok…that was a bit too superman-ish. but whatever. HIT THAT REVIEW BUTTON NOW!!

-K-chan


	18. Chapter 18: I Can't Pick up the Phone p1

Leaf Shinobi

Leaf Shinobi

--

K-chan: thanks for reviewing goodmorningTAIshine!! D you other ppl out there should review. )  
Sasuke: destinyKW doesn't own us. and yes, I'm doing it again.  
K-chan: DIE!! ok. I also don't own AT&T or any of its commercials. but this chap is based on them.  
--

I Can't Pick up the Phone Part 1  
--

on a random April day, (not april fool's mind you) all of Konoha 12 came over to Sakura's place to record a Leaf shinobi webisode. "ok….you guys know about those AT&T commercials right?" Sasuke asked. "the ones where there are two of the same person and they say, 'Hi, so-and-so can't talk to you because' and then at the end they say something sarcastic?" Ino clarified. "yup." Sakura said. "make up one for yourself and get together with your squad members to do one for you teacher about how they can't pick up the phone because of their new team….but only one person can present. most likely the eccentric one of the group…"

after about 10 minutes….

"DONE!!" everyone yelled. "ok then, we're on in 5..4..3..2..1.."

101010101010101010101

Naruto: HEY GUYS! today, we're kind of doing a parody of those AT&T commercials where they say they can't pick up the phone because their place has no bars!  
Sakura: all of us has made our own version, and each squad has made one up for their teacher.  
Sasuke: let the parody begin! who wants to go first for the individual ones?

Ino: ME!  
Sakura: fine, go ahead you pig.  
Ino: excuse me? did I hear you correctly bill-board brow?  
Sakura: whatever, just GO.  
Ino: fine. Hi, Ino's not able to pick up the phone right now because she's out at this cheapo mall where nobody visits. and since nobody visits, the staff didn't bother to try to get signals for their customers, which in my opinion, decreases their number of customers. so, while you try and try to call her, Ino will be silently cursing while trying to find something decent. thanks, Ino. the mall's gonna be a blast.  
Sasuke: next?

Naruto: me!  
Sasuke: go.  
Naruto: Hey. Naruto isn't able to pick up the phone right now because he's stuck on a mission in the middle of nowhere, where, of course, their isn't signal. so while you try to call him, Naruto will be fighting off some random attackers. even if he did bring his phone, which he probably wouldn't, he wouldn't be able to get your call. so yeah. GOOD LUCK.

Lee: I'M NEXT!!  
Shikamaru: go right ahead, I don't wanna go.  
Ino: I'm guessing you didn't prepare anything?  
Shikamaru: I just don't want to go.

Lee: Greetings! Lee can't pick up the phone right now because he's busy training! although his phone is next to his bag, lee's training grounds doesn't have any signal. even if it did have signal, I doubt it would be heard because of how loud he and Gai-sensei talk! so HA!  
everyone: ok…….that's not really related, but ok.

Kiba: I'll go. Hello, Kiba can't pick up the phone right now because he's currently at the vet's office with Akamaru. It just so happens that the office has officially no signal. so he can't call his sister or mother to tell them how Akamaru's physicals went. so yeah. once he gets home, his family is probably going to give him a lecture on how important it is to have a cell with you even though he did. Home is going to be _so_ much fun.

Naruto: who's next?  
Sakura: I'll go. hey there. Sakura's not able to pick up the right now because the hospital she's working at has zero signal. so as you attempt to call her, she'll be treating patients, not knowing that you've tried to call her. isn't that going to be fun while you waste your minutes?

Sasuke: I'll go…..yo, Sasuke's not able to pick up the phone because it's impossible physically for him. NOT. he's currently infiltrating the Akatsuki lair, and it just so happens that that place doesn't have access to cell sigs. so yeah. I don't even know why he has his phone with him, but if it does ring miraculously, he's dead meat. Isn't dead meat cool or what?

Tenten: hey. Tenten's not able to pick up the phone right now because she's sparring at the moment as usual, with Neji. like lee said, their training ground has zip signal. so she won't be getting back to you for QUITE some time. (cough cough HACK)  
Sakura: please don't die on me. I don't want to get sued…..(refer to my friends blog….look at the bottom of my profile)  
Tenten: it's called fake coughing. (nods head)  
Sakura: right…….ehehehehe….

Shino: I'll go next…..  
Sasuke: go right ahead….  
Shino: hey. Shino isn't able to pick up the phone right now because he's currently on a mission. but however, his beetles deflect cell phone signals for an unknown reason. and besides, he didn't bring his phone….so he'll get back to you in a couple weeks. maybe a month. isn't that wonderful?

Ino: if Shino went, you should go, Shika!!  
Shikamaru: what-what-what! NO!  
Ino: YES! (death glares)  
Shikamaru: OK!! (sighs in annoyance) hi there. Shikamaru isn't able to pick up the phone right now because he's currently being yelled at by his girlfriend at her house. her house is one of those places which doesn't receive signals, and besides, it's too loud to hear a phone ring. tonight's going to be so fun. thanks Ino.  
Ino: WHAT!? SHIKAMARU NARA, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU!

Neji: I'll go….  
Tenten: that's the spirit!  
Neji: whatever. anyways….here goes. hi. Neji isn't able to pick up the phone right now because he's stuck listening to Gai's stupid lecture on youth. like Tenten and lee said, their training ground as goose egg signal. even if there was signal, he wouoldn't hear his phone because Gai talks so loud. Thanks Gai!

Choji: I guess I should go……  
Naruto: GO!  
Choji: hi there. Choji isn't able to pick up the phone right now because he is currently at a barbeque restaurant (you know, the one with the grill on the table) that doesn't receive signal. in the meantime, his best friend Shikamaru is dozing away, leaving him with no one talk to as he dines. isn't this fun?  
Shikamaru: that sounds so like me……  
Choji: so you're basically saying that you would fall asleep in the restaurant.  
Shikamaru: no…..unless I only had 2 hours of sleep the night before.  
Choji: good.

Hinata: I'll go next….hello, Hinata isn't able to pick up the phone right now because she's on vacation on an island that gets zero signal. so while she's having fun in the sun, you will be desperately trying to call her in vain. Have fun!  
Neji: interesting……..  
Naruto: why didn't you stutter...?  
Me: (appears) cause I didn't feel like making her stutter, OK!  
Sakura: how did you invade my house?  
me: I'm the author, and besides, I can teleport! (nods)  
(Everyone except K-chan raises their eyebrows)  
K-chan: never mind. (disappears)  
everyone: ok…….

--

Part 2 with the teacher ones will come next chapter. thanks to you readers who have read this and stuck with me even though I was on vacation for like a month.

-K-chan


	19. Chapter 19: I Can't Pick up the Phone p2

Leaf Shinobi

Leaf Shinobi

--

Gai: K-chan doesn't own us, but she's very youthful!! although she doesn't like it when I use youthful too much…  
K-chan: you got that right…….now STOP.  
Lee: I'm sorry my author, but it's IMPOSSIBLE!!  
(pushes the two freaks out of the room)  
K-chan: aah….peace and quiet.

--

I Can't Pick up the Phone Part 2

--

Sasuke: now that we're done with the individual versions, it's time to present the teacher ones.  
Sakura: this is the one we made up about Kakashi….  
Naruto: hey. Kakashi-sensei can't pick up the phone right now because, uh, well, he's attempting to calm down his new team members….ehehhe….you know the introduction thing you do when you meet your squad? yeah….since he never volunteers much information, he's busy warding off one crazy girl and 2 hyper guys who pretty much hate him. also, the place where he's doing it has goose egg signal. so even if he could receive the call, he wouldn't answer it because the 12 year olds are still mad and yelling. Don't you love your new team?

Ino: WE'RE GOING NEXT!!  
Choji: aw man….  
Shikamaru: what a drag…here goes. Asuma can't pick up the phone right now 'cause he's dead. ok? leave the poor dead person alone. that is, unless they're evil…..then let them get tortured. so yeah…his phone is currently in the middle of nowhere, so of course it has no sig. and it probably ran out of batteries since it's been 3 years…..so yeah. he's never going to get back to you. so there, leave the poor man alone.  
Sasuke: interesting?

Kiba: Here goes! hey there. Kurenai-sensei can't pick up the phone right now because she's too busy dealing with her new squad. the thing is though, they're all boys….and they're PRETTY annoying. in her opinion anyway. so as she sadly attempts to quiet her rowdy new students, you won't be able to get to her. the place she's at has no signal what so ever. so yeah. have fun with the new students!  
Lee: THAT WAS VERY WELL SAID Kiba!! (cries doing to Nice Guy pose)  
everyone: uh…..(sweatdrop)

Lee: OUR TURN!!  
Neji: no need to get so enthusiastic about it…..  
Tenten: hey guys, wassup? Gai isn't able to pick up the phone right now because unfortunately, his team consists of people like Neji and I, who hate his obsession about youthfulness. all three of them are like us, but more violent….and aggressive…so yeah. as he tries to persuade his new students to follow the path of youthfulness…..yup. he's just going to get beaten down. besides, his current location doesn't have any signal. Gai, your new team's gonna be a blast.  
lee: I NEVER WANTED TO PUT IN THE 'HATE' PART!! WHY DID YOU GUYS PUT IT IN?!  
Neji: because it was 2 against 1, and you didn't have a good reason.

Sasuke: anyway, this concludes our parody episode.  
everyone: see ya!!

101010101010101010101

--

well, that's it! for now, anyways. if you have any ideas, hit that review button! special thanks to goodmorningTAIshine for reviewing (again D).

-K-chan


	20. Chapter 20: Truth or Dare at Camp

Leaf Shinobi

Leaf Shinobi

--

K-chan: hi ya folks!! this is LS's 20th chapter!! GO K-CHAN!!  
Shikamaru: why do women have to be so noisy? so troublesome….  
K-chan: If ya don't like it, then LEAVE.  
Shikamaru: fine by me….

--

Truth or Dare at Camp

--

one day during June, Konoha 12 decided to go camping. Or rather, their teachers made them, and made team 10 go along too. according to Gai, "GO OUT THERE AND EMBRACE YOUR YOUTH!!' that got a LOT of sweatdrops out of everyone excluding lee, OF COURSE. and so, the other 11 teens trudged to get their stuff, in which Sasuke brought the video camera they got in the land of snow.

"this is SUCH a DRAG," Shikamaru complained. "for once, I like your complaining," Ino said. "why do WE have to go CAMPING? we've camped out like a HUNDRED times by now," "seriously." Sakura muttered. "out of all places to go, we HAD to go camping," Tenten groaned.

when they got there, the teens set up the tents and everything. as they spread out the blankets in a circle where a supposed fire was supposed to be (it's too warm to need a fire), they stared at each other in the silence.

"now what?" Naruto asked. "I'm bored…" Kiba whined. Akamaru whined also. "why don't we play truth or dare?" Ino suggested. "we haven't played that since we were 13," Tenten said. "why now?" "uh, because it's FUN, and we have nothing better to do." the others glanced at each other. "fine…" Sasuke took out an empty water bottle and placed it in the middle. "let me set up the camera."

101010101010101010101

Sasuke: before we start, this isn't exactly a planned episode, but WHO CARES? we're playing truth or dare in the middle of nowhere, so you can use this as some type of security camera or something. this is not anywhere close to being directed or anything.  
Sakura: just spin the bottle!!

(Ino spins it, it lands on Sakura)  
Ino: AHA! Sakura, truth or dare?  
Sakura: truth. actually, DOUBLE truth.  
Ino: you're crazy…wait a minute…there's no such thing as a double truth, you wimp!.  
Sakura: whatever. bring it on.  
Ino: let's see…..if Sasuke did NOT return, would you stay single or hook up with somebody else? and if you'd hook up, then who?  
Sakura: being tough, eh? I'd hook up…..with Naruto, since he's my closest guy friend.  
Naruto: GO ME!!  
(Sakura whacks poor Naruto upside the head)  
Sakura: and besides, I'd have a lot of fun hitting him too.  
everyone else: …….

(bottle lands on Shino)  
Sakura: Shino, truth or dare?  
Shino: dare.  
Sakura: sing, 'I feel pretty, I feel pretty, I feel pretty, and nice, and gay' while skipping around for a whole minute.  
(Shino twitches slightly. Kiba laughs)  
Kiba: that is going to be SO FUNNY!! Aahahahahahaha!!

(Shino slowly gets up, skips not so happily, and sings the lyrics sakura set out for him)

everyone: (snicker)

Shino: my turn….

(lands on Hinata)  
Shino: Hinata, truth or dare?  
Hinata: truth….  
Shino: hmm……this is lame, but…..what do you think of this outing?  
Hinata: to tell the truth….i think this is a bunch of bull.  
Everyone: O.O

(lands on Lee)  
Hinata: lee, truth or dare?  
Lee: DARE!!  
everyone: (sweatdrop) …….  
Hinata: I dare you to….um….uh…not wear your green spandex jumpsuit tomorrow for a whole day.  
Lee: NO!! MY YOUTHFUL ATTIRE!! (breaks into tears)  
Neji: are you going to do it or not?  
Lee: if it means preserving the power of youth, then YES!!  
(everyone but lee sweatdrops)

(lands on Sasuke)  
Lee: Sasuke, truth or dare?!  
Sasuke: dare……  
Lee: I dare you to act like a fag for 30 seconds!!  
(Sasuke twitches)  
Naruto: Sasuke, acting like a fag? like that's ever gonna happen!!  
Sasuke: is that final?  
Lee: actually…maybe not. (Sasuke sighs internally) I dare you to lick a piece of moldy bark!  
Sasuke: ok……(finds a piece of bark, licks it, then takes his NEW water bottle and rinses his mouth)

(lands on Naruto)  
Sasuke: Naruto, truth or dare? there's really no point in asking..  
Naruto: TRUTH! BRING IT ON TEME!!  
Sasuke: hmm…..i dare you to….recite at least 7 digits after the decimal in pi. and if you don't know that many, Sakura's going to make you go flying at yell it in your ear before you leave us.  
Naruto: (GULP) 3.14….1….5…..ninetwosixfivethreefive8979323!! DON'T KILL ME!!  
everyone: O.O (thinks: _he knows that much? OMG_)  
Sakura: aw man, I was looking forward to make you go flying…..

(lands on Shikamaru)  
Naruto: Shikamaru, truth or dare?!  
Shikamaru: truth….dares are troublesome.  
Naruto: do you like Ino?  
(everyone else slaps their heads)  
Shikamaru: No, I HATE HER. she's so friggin annoying. (drips with sarcasm literally and figuratively)  
Ino: (takes cue) How could you?! I hate your two!! (fake cries)  
Naruto: sorry…..?  
(everyone else laughs their heads off)

(lands on Tenten)  
Shikamaru: Tenten, truth or dare?  
Tenten: dare.  
Shikamaru: I dare you to sing _I'm in Love with a Girl_ by Gavin DeGraw and make yourself look gay.  
Tenten: ok….(sings…whatever…)  
Shikamaru: you sound SO gay.  
Tenten: yes, I do. can we move on?

(lands on Kiba)  
Tenten: Kiba, truth or dare?  
Kiba: dare of course! Akamaru and I are ready for anything!  
Tenten: ok…..i dare you and Akamaru to act like cats for a whole minute, instead of dogs.  
Kiba: WHAT!! NOOO!!  
Tenten: if you don't, then I'll be sure to stab you two a few times.  
Kiba: fine…  
(Kiba and Akamaru use the transformation jutsu, turn into cats, and start meowing reluctantly)

(lands on Ino)  
Kiba: Ino, truth or dare?  
Ino: dare.  
Kiba: I dare you to talk to yourself out loud for a minute. and the topic is criticizing your weight and such.  
Ino: WHAT? do I really have to?  
Kiba: yeah, it's a dare? why?  
Shikamaru: she's had WAY too much practice at that. she does that at training a LOT.  
Ino: Shikamaru, you bastard!!  
Kiba: JUST GO!!  
Ino: fine…. ugh. I look so fat today. seriously Ino, what's wrong with you? I think our parents just jinxed us by naming us pig (it's really boar, but AH, WHO CARES?). I REALLY don't want to live up to that name….maybe I should stop eating so much in between meals. I think Choji's habits have rubbed off on me…..

(Ino's JUST about to spin the bottle)  
Sakura: wait a minute!! you already spun!!  
Ino: oh yeah…and we can't let Kiba spin again…..  
Sakura: Choji, you spin!!  
Choji: ok….

(lands on Neji)  
choji: Neji, truth or dare?  
Neji: Dare…  
Choji: I dare you to….skip around for 30 seconds singing, 'yo ho, yo ho, a pirates life for me!!'. be sure to yell 'ARG' at the end!!  
(Neji falls on his head, and gets back up)  
Neji: you've got to be kidding.  
Choji: I AM CHOJI AKAMICHI AND I MEAN EVERY WORD I SAY. (dun dun dun!! just kidding)  
Neji: fine…….may the kami have pity on me…..  
(Neji begins to yo ho his way around everyone. he's about to sit down)  
Choji: what about my 'arg'?  
Neji: arg….. (sits down)  
Choji: louder?  
Neji: you're crazy. NO.  
Choji: I thought I had him…..

(lands on Choji)  
Neji: Choji, truth or dare?  
Choji: truth?  
Neji: this is so random……if there was no more food left in the world, would you become a cannibal and eat Shikamaru?  
(Shikamaru's eyes widen)  
Choji: NEVER!! I would never turn from my best buddy!!  
(everyone sweatdrops at the 'best buddy' statement)

101010101010101010101

It was about noon. "I'm hungry, who's up for lunch?" Choji asked. the others for once didn't complain about Choji's metabolism and agreed to start making lunch.

--

Random chapter. I couldn't think of anything else to write about…REVIEW PLEASE!!

-K-chan


	21. Chapter 21: Beach Trip

Leaf Shinobi

Leaf Shinobi  
--

K-chan: this chapter is a kind of a parody on what happened to me and Slzz when we went to the beach. RANDOMNESS AND INSANENESS FOLLOWS.  
Slzz: Destiny here doesn't own Naruto. and she's slightly obsessed..  
K-chan: I'm a fan. not a fan girl. BIG DIFFERENCE.  
--

Beach Trip!!

--

after the teens trudged (with the exclusion of lee, who ran) home after their forced camping trip, they all planned to hit the beach a few days later.

At the beach…

the teens met up in a group on the parking lot. "sup," "sup." "hey," "yo," "hi," "hellos." "how's life?" "hn," "hello," "hey!!" "YOSH!!" (easy to tell who these guys are) "..zzz.." they then applied sunscreen to one another and found a place to set up their umbrellas, towels, chairs, mats, and stuff.

the girls were chatting under the shade while the serious guys (Shino, Neji, Sasuke, and Shikamaru) went boogie boarding (why, the world may never know!!). the other guys waded around, attempting to follow the serious ones and hitch a ride. or something.

With the girls…

"so…." "so…" "hmm…." the four kunoichi stared at one another. "what to do?" "let's go in,"

with the guys…

Neji and Sasuke were riding the waves. well, not really. more like leaning on the board and floating on top of the waves. Shikamaru just stood there, avoiding waves, but not getting on the board that he held in his hands. Shino just stood there. being Shino. Kiba slowly walked over and stole the boogie board. "THANKS BUDDY!!" Kiba yelled as Akamaru and he paddled deeper to actually boogie board.

Naruto decided to go to Sasuke and Neji and pester them. "You guys sure don't look like you're boogie boarding!!" he yelled. Neji then took his cue to swim away and actually surf. Sasuke just sighed and followed Neji for the sake of escaping from the hyper active orange teen.

meanwhile, lee went onto the sand and started to do a freakin' speech about freakin' health. the other teams groaned. innocent bystanders (innocent, HAHA) glared at lee in disgust and were sure to be FAR away from him.

the girls eventually got so bored that they took Shikamaru's boogie board and started covering it in wet sand and adorning it with sea shells. as they were doing so, Tenten muttered, "we must look so retarded doing this," "well, we ARE retarded in some way," Sakura said. Ino began looking for shells on her hands and knees since she didn't feel like going out to the water to do so. "no offense, but you look very awkward crawling around," Hinata admitted. "thanks," Ino said sarcastically. then Tenten decided to bring up a random conversation.

"did I tell you that I have a few months to spend in the Mental Institution?" "really? I need to go there too," Sakura smirked, playing along with the inside joke. "I was supposed to go this week, but they let me delay it for this trip." Tenten stated. "I see?" Hinata whispered. "and also, let's go timeshare Temari's cottage while we're at it!!" it was all sarcasm here.

Far off, lee was sobbing, crying about how people were avoiding him. "that's because you're WEIRD." Neji stated bluntly. by the time the girls got there, Tenten started scolding her teammate/boyfriend on his statement. "whatever. besides, there he goes again,." Neji muttered. just as he said that, everyone else saw lee running off to an ice cream stand.

"ICE CREAM?!" Naruto yelled! he too dashed off to the stand. Choji followed soon. then Shikamaru, Ino, Sakura, Sasuke, Neji, Tenten, Hinata, Kiba, and everyone else.

At the ice cream stand….

the teens were staring at the oodles of flavors. the stand didn't look that big from afar, but it was really HUGE up close. it had over 30 flavors, just like a regular ice cream store, except on wheels!! "excuse me sir, do you have ramen flavored ice cream?" Naruto asked. all the others including the stand owner had "WTF?" looks on their faces. "er, no." the stand owner said. after a long time of pondering, the teens decided what they wanted and headed off back to their towel/umbrella site.

"WHERE DID ALL OUR STUFF GO?!" Ino yelled, almost dropping her chocolate cone. indeed, the spot where they had piled their stuff had disappeared. all the others screamed. "dang." Shikamaru muttered. "NOO!!" Naruto shouted. "my ramen towel!!" that outburst received sweatdrops and some falling on heads.

that's when they saw all their stuff being taken away by some little kids who though it was free. "WHAT THE-" the girls quickly ran to the children's parents and explained the whole situation. fortunately, all the stuff was returned. the gang sighed in relief.

"PHEW!" the teens then went back into the ocean for a while and began to pack up for home.

--

Ta-da!! whaddya think? next chapter (or arc) will be my version of the ABC game show **Wipeout**. I hope our characters will have a lot of fun….NOT. My friend from OMF will be co-hosting, so shall be featured in the chapter as well. SEE YA!

-K-chan


	22. Chapter 22: Start of Wipeout

Leaf Shinobi

Leaf Shinobi

--

K-chan: I don't own Naruto, OMG! or Wipeout. stop asking. Oh yeah, no offense to the Johns and Jill…

--

Start of WIPEOUT

--

"I'm so bored…." Sasuke muttered as the gang sat around on a random Saturday afternoon. Konoha 12 had run out of ideas to do on day offs. Then some people poofed in.

"hey!!" K-chan and Rizu yelled. "NOO!! IT'S THE CRAZED AUTHOR AGAIN!! KAMI-SAMA SAVE ME!!" Naruto screamed. "EXCUSE ME?!" K-chan retorted. Then she smashed him into the wall. everyone sweatdropped. "wait a minute…who's the other person?" Kiba asked. "that's my friend Rizu from OMF," K-chan replied happily. "and no, it doesn't mean oh my bleep," Rizu added.

"so…" "so…" "You teens have been invited to go to WIPEOUT!" the two girls announced. immediately a response was heard. "oh hell no," Neji said flatly. "but we did so much work to take over the place!!" Rizu said with puppy-dog eyes. (sniffle sniffle)

Work was a. k. a. sabotaging an episode, tying up the two Johns and Jill, and getting rid of the camera men. taking the cameras and setting them up where they needed to be. then they had a bunch of friends guard the place, a.k.a. Urd, Skuld, and Belldandy. DUN DUN DUNN!! the goddesses are out to kill. well, excluding Belldandy, we had to drag her into this…but that's beside the point. D

"….." "fine…." Shikamaru said lazily. "it beats nothing." "YAY!!" the girls yelled (not the characters, but me and Rizu). "thanks for the camera by the way," k-chan grinned, holding up Sasuke's beloved expensive video camera that he got from the Land of Snow. "WHAT?? NOO!! how did you get that?" "author and friend have powers," Rizu said in a sing-song voice. the cast frowned.

At the Wipeout studio…

"oh, you're back!!" Belldandy chirped as the group walked in. "awesome…" Urd said. "here's our report. the Johns and Jill are currently bound together and locked in a closet….Banpei is watching them. Sigel is working on finishing the locks and extra security gadgets," Skuld listed. "extra security?" Rizu repeated. "yep! here's your remote in case anything happens," Skuld thrust a remote into K-chan's hands. "ok…."

"welcome TO WIPEOUT!!" crickets began to chirp. well, for the most part. "oh my god!! this is AWESOME!!" Naruto exclaimed as he looked at the equipment and obstacles from the balcony/podium place where the Johns should have stood. "I FINALLY GET TO DO MY PRESENTATION OF YOUTH FOR MY FELLOW TEAMMATES!!" lee cried in delight. he was then promptly wrestled to the floor by Tenten and hit upside the head by Neji. "baka," Neji muttered. the rest of us sweatdropped in unison.

"anyways, on to disclaimers and the such," k-chan said. "first of all, this is not your regular wipeout. this is 'SABOTAGED WIPEOUT'. second, there is no prize money, because combined, Rizu and I don't have that much dough, and we don't want to give you money because we're saving for college." Rizu nodded her head at that statement. then she raised her eyebrows at 'college'. "actually, we're using our money for our own reasons.."

"and third, no one will be disqualified because that's the only way to up my stats," k-chan finished with a grin. the characters just stood and looked like so: o.O  
"just kidding,"  
"…" O.O  
"it's so I can see you guys get humiliated," once again, O.o  
"I'm serious, that's the real reason," K-chan explained.

"….."

"whatever…just hurry up and get down there!!" Rizu yelled, shoving Shikamaru. Only to find that he almost tumbled down both flights of stairs because he was half-awake when he was pushed and was rolling down at a fast speed by the time he was aware of what was happening. "ow!!" Shikamaru said loudly as he reached the bottom with a 'thump'. "oops! sorry!!" Rizu shouted as she grimaced. "yeah, yeah, yeah," Shikamaru muttered. the rest of the Naruto cast reluctantly walked downstairs before Rizu or K-chan could shove them to their doom.

"first things first….how do we work this thing?" k-chan asked, turning on Sasuke's camera." "it's called hit 'RECORD'," Rizu explained.

"naw, really? I've been trying to find the button!!"  
"oh…"  
"where is the flippin' button!! stupid camera…"  
"it's…..there,"  
"right…..i knew that."  
"no you didn't….."

the two teens got the camera set up while the three goddess sisters went to their posts at various cameras that were stolen. "ready to go!"

101010101010101010101

K-chan and Rizu: Hello everybody. Welcome to 'SABOTAGED WIPEOUT'.  
K-chan: I'm K-chan, your host,  
Rizu: and I'm Rizu, your co-host.  
K-chan: now let's meet our contestants!

Rizu: first up is Naruto Uzumaki, our hyperactive teen from Konoha! he's an idiot at times, but hopefully his athletic ability will show. or not.  
Naruto: (from outside, talking into mike that connects to balcony) HEY!! THAT'S NOT THE WAY I WANTED TO BE INTRODUCED!!  
K-chan: meh…too bad.  
(Naruto frowns at the camera Urd is using down there)

K-chan: next up is Sakura Haruno, our pink-haired medic nin! Well accomplished too.  
Naruto: why does she get the good intro and I don't?  
Sakura: because I'm smart, and you're an idiot. deal with it.

Rizu: Now we have Sasuke Uchiha, sole survivor of the Uchiha clan massacre! very emo at times….but I think we've passed that stage…  
(Sasuke raises his eyebrows at Rizu's 'stage' comment)  
Rizu: he's pretty athletic and is very skilled. we expect to see him at the finals.  
K-chan: Rizu, EVERYONE'S going to the finals.  
Rizu: right…forgot about that….

K-chan: Shino Aburame is here with his parasitic bugs! I think he'll fare well everything in particular. we'll see.  
(Shino being Shino just stares at the camera from behind his sunglasses)

Rizu: now here's Kiba!!  
Akamaru: rawr….ruff!! (translation: what about me??)  
Rizu: (cough cough) and Akamaru!! wait…sorry Akamaru…you can't be in this.  
Kiba: why can't he?  
Rizu: well…..i don't think he'd do too well in the Sucker Punch because he can't exactly grab onto the wall…..  
Kiba: oh….sorry boy.  
Akamaru: (whine) wuff!  
Rizu: a great duo, it's a shame they can't compete together. or against each other.

K-chan: this is Hinata from the Hyuga clan. expert in Gentle fist and other clan related jutsu. although that won't really help in the competition….  
Hinata: I'll try my best….  
K-chan: well…that's the spirit! I guess.

Rizu: We now have Ino from the Yamanaka clan. also a trained medic nin..and overreactive at times.  
Ino: OVERREACTIVE?! thanks.  
Rizu: ehehehehe…see what I mean?

K-chan: this is Shikamaru, the guy who was pushed down the stairs a few minutes ago…you ok?  
Shikamaru: yeah….what's it to you?  
K-chan: he's very lazy and grumpy….yet a genius. isn't that a weird mix?  
Shikamaru: wait a minute!!

Rizu: next up is Choji! he likes chips, especially barbeque. sounds like a day!  
Choji: is that supposed to be good or bad?  
Rizu: I have no idea!!  
Choji: ok……

K-chan: this is Neji..prodigy of the Hyuga clan, and cousin of Hinata. he used to have a superiority complex problem a couple years back…but that's been fixed.  
Neji: what the heck.  
K-chan: and now that's how he acts.  
(Neji rolls his eyes at the camera)

Rizu: Here's Tenten!! a weapon mistress of Konoha, she can hit 100 out of 100 targets!! doesn't that rock?  
Tenten: kinda sorta. I always kind of took it for granted. (grins)

K-chan: and last and least, Lee.  
lee: what? I'm not important!! why do you guys hate youthfulness so much?!  
K-chan: as you can tell…he's obsessed with youth.  
Gai: Lee, don't listen to them!! it's what you believe that counts!!  
Rizu: how did he-  
K-chan: I guess it's time for the remote.  
(points remote at Gai and presses to last button)  
(Gai falls into a hole, and gets locked up with various locks)  
Rizu: Cool.  
K-chan: awesome.  
Gai: (muffled voice) LET ME OUT OF HERE!! HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN TO ME?! I'M A GOOD MAN!!  
K-chan and Rizu: and that's what you get for being obsessed with youth! woooaaaahhh oh!! P

--

that's it for now!! what do you think? the qualification round is next!! also, school is about to start, which means slower updates. ( I'll try my hardest to keep up with school and my fics.

-K-chan

PS: Rizu says hi.


	23. Chapter 23: Qualification Round

Leaf Shinobi

--

Rizu: no, K-chan doesn't own Naruto…..and neither do i.  
K-chan: kishi does……and we don't own OMG either.

--

Qualification Round

--

K-chan: Moving on!  
Naruto Cast: dang…..  
Rizu: this is our qualification course!! of course, everyone qualifies anyway….but here are our obstacles.  
K-chan: first up are the floating platforms!! they're really not obstacles, but people do 'make' them obstacles….(sigh)  
Rizu: the random things in your path or next. you have to step on these things and cross the mud pit, otherwise you get dirty!  
Sasuke: naw, REALLY?  
Rizu: SHUDDUP.  
K-chan: then it's the SUCKA punch!! WOOT! anyways…those babies come straight out randomly, so try not to get hit.  
Rizu: my personal favorite, the Big Balls. I think you can tell what you have to do.  
Shikamaru: hmm….i WONDER. maybe CROSS OVER?  
K-chan: Good job!! (Shika frowns) then it's the landing part…which you guys go on a rope like Tarzan the monkey man and land on the ball.

Rizu: First up is…..Naruto!!  
Naruto: WHAT?? NOO!!  
(K-chan pushes him to the starting platform)  
Rizu: GO!  
(he walks onto the floating platforms then stops)  
Naruto: where do I go!! the path's gone!! (the platforms made a 90 degree turn)  
Sasuke: idiot…..  
Sakura: BAKA!! to your right!!  
Naruto: RIGHT!! (loses balance and falls into water)  
K-chan: smooth move. get back on and get to the REAL obstacles!!

(he reaches the REAL obstacles)  
Naruto: bricks? that's easy!!  
(he walks….almost there! and trips on last step. SPLASH)  
Naruto: DARN!! so close…  
Skuld: WOW. haha!!  
Rizu: just go to the sucker punch, will ya?

(reaches sucker punch, gets punched the very first step he gets on it)  
Naruto: HEY!! WHAT THE-  
K-chan: you didn't think, did you? (sigh)  
(he crawls out of the mud and slips his way up the ramp to Big Balls)

Naruto: here goes nothing!!  
(boinga boing PLOP)  
Naruto: (all muddy) are you sure this thing isn't rigged?!  
Neji: nope….you just have bad luck. and skill.

(goes to the rope)

Naruto: almost there……  
(swing…..bwomp. he went face first into the ball….then was bounced back)  
Rizu: I guess that counts as a finish…doesn't it??  
K-chan: yeah I guess. folks, that was 53 seconds!! good work!

Rizu: how did the last ball feel?  
Naruto: horrible.  
K-chan: now let's see if Sakura can beat him!

Belldandy: 1, 2, 3, go!  
(Sakura runs across the platforms with ease…goes across obstacles easily)  
Sakura: (stands and stares at sucka punch) hmm….  
Ino: what are you waiting for, bill-board brow?? GO!  
Sakura: SHUDDUP YOU PIG!!  
(goes, gets punched halfway there)  
Sakura: kuso…..(swim swim swim)

(she slowly goes up the steep ramp)  
Sakura: here goes….  
(she goes slowly across…and falls on the third ball)  
Sakura: shoot.

(on rope….wheee!! she lands!)  
K-chan: and that was a beautiful landing from Sakura Haruno from Konoha. that should earn some points. (nods)  
Rizu: beautiful?? are you ok? and stop talking like an NBC spokesperson at the Olympics. they're over anyway.  
Urd: according to Sigel, the time was 36 secs.  
K-chan: competition is getting fierce!! who will beat Sakura's 36 secs??

Rizu: now it's Sasuke. ready, set, GO!  
(Sasuke runs across platforms and obstacles)  
Sakura: (still muddy) good so far….  
(one of the gloves shoots out from he almost falls)  
Sasuke: phew…  
K-chan: that was close!

(makes it past the sucker punch and still spotless. approaches big balls)  
Sasuke: (sigh) time to go.  
(jumps on the first, springs to second, and then falls right in the gap between the second and third ball)  
Shino: looks like a miscalculation….  
(swims)

Sasuke: time to finish.  
(swing….ends up belly flopping onto the ball. and then falls over in some type of somersault)  
everyone: O.O  
Sasuke: KUSO!  
Rizu: that was 33 seconds! a close call!  
K-chan: how was your grand gymnastics routine?? what did you think?  
Sasuke: what the heck. no comment.

Rizu: time for Ino!!  
Urd: and let's GO!  
(Ino runs past the platforms, but trips on one of the obstacles)  
Ino: damn….that was a new shirt too…  
Sakura: that's why you don't where new things to wipeout, porker!  
Ino: EXCUSE ME??

(approaches sucka punch. gets punched off)  
SPLOOSH!  
(trudges to dry land)  
Ino: this sucks….  
(boinga boingity plop! swim….)

Ino: here goes nothing! gotta finish!!  
(george george, george of the jung-oops. sorry…wrong scenario…and gender. anyways swing…bong)  
Rizu: that's gotta hurt…  
k-chan: yeah….that was the same face plant Naruto did. (chomps on popcorn)

Choji: HEY, where did you get that?  
K-chan: downstairs at concessions. buy your own!  
(Choji leaves to get popcorn)  
Rizu: how was the fall?  
Ino: muddy and dirty…and sucky. what else?  
Belldandy: 38 seconds!!  
Sakura: yes!! I beat you! pfft!!  
(Ino and Sakura start arguing)  
Shikamaru and Sasuke: would the two of you shut up? it's so annoying.  
Sakura and Ino: O.O

K-chan: it's Shikamaru's turn!! GO!!  
(pushes Shika a BIT too hard…and he plummets onto a platform)  
Shikamaru: what is with these girls??  
(jogs past platforms and obstacles. observes the sucker punch)  
Skuld: I wonder what he's doing….  
(he gets on and moves across it slowly, and yet wasn't punched)  
everyone: o.O

Rizu: that seriously takes ingenious smarts.  
(walks over the big ball instead of jumping. gets across)  
everyone: O.o  
(whee!! bwong. ta-da!!)  
Rizu: a perfect landing from Shikamaru Nara!!  
k-chan: and you say I talk like an Olympic spokesperson?  
Rizu: sorry!! D  
K-chan: SHEESH. anyways..that was 37 seconds. not bad.

Belldandy: go Choji!!  
(he goes slowly over platforms…and stumbles on the obstacles)  
Shika: not looking so good….but then again, that's Choji for you.  
K-chan: true…..  
(dies on sucker punch twice…and goes to the big balls)  
Rizu: this doesn't look good..  
(Choji gets stuck in one of the balls)  
everyone: O.O

Rizu: time for Kiba!!  
(he runs, he jumps, he misses!!)  
Kiba: shoot…  
(approaches punch. gets punched in the middle)  
Everyone: ….expected.  
(slogs up the ramp….jumps onto the big balls, dies. well, not literally)  
K-chan: he jumps, and he falls!! boo yeah!  
Kiba: that's not supposed to be funny!!  
(goes on the rope and bounces onto the last ball, and then somersaults into the water)  
Rizu: nice landing, idiot!! P  
K-chan: a total of 34 seconds.

Skuld: go Hinata!!  
(she goes, she jumps, she lands!! total opposite of Kiba BTW)  
Kiba: shuddup!! it was an ACCIDENT, OK?  
K-chan: SURE…..  
Rizu: what she said.  
(gets onto the sucker punch and is socked off just before she reaches the end)  
Rizu: ooh….so close. yet so far.

(Hinata approaches the big balls)  
K-chan: I wonder how this will go.  
(she walks, hops, and makes it!)  
Rizu: (GASP) she's the only person besides Shikamaru who made it across!!  
Shikamaru: yeah yeah yeah……whatever.  
(she gets on the rope..and bounces once on the ball and lands!)  
K-chan: 26 seconds!! WOOT!

Ino: you go girl!!

Rizu: it's Shino's turn!  
(crickets chrip)  
Urd: GO, YOU FREAKING ROCK OF A TEEN!  
(he goes past the platforms and obstacles with ease)  
K-chan: I hate it when he always has that blank look….no matter what he's doing.  
Rizu: agreed….he's worse off than Sasuke and Neji combined.  
Sasuke and Neji: WE HEARD THAT!!  
K-chan: I mean, even they react to it 'normally' now.  
Sasuke and Neji: SHUT THE HELL UP!  
Rizu: so mean….

(Shino gets across the sucka punch easily)  
everyone: O.o  
(he approaches the big balls and calls after the second one)  
SPLASH!  
everyone: now he makes a mistake! YESS!!  
Shino: that was totally un-called for.  
Kiba: whatever!! XP  
(he lands on the last ball)  
K-chan: that was 24 seconds. a new record!

Rizu: are you proud of yourself??  
Shino: not really…why?

(everyone groans)

K-chan: time for lee to go on.  
Rizu: yaaay.  
Tenten: that doesn't sound very convincing, but I'm not gonna complain.  
Lee: you two are so mean to me!! WHY??  
(team Gai sweatdrops. so does everyone else, excluding lee)  
Gai: DON'T MAKE FUN OF HIM!!  
K-chan: I almost forgot about him. I wonder what this button does. (presses 3rd button on remote)  
(Gai is released from the metal cube thing in the floor)  
Rizu: shoot. URD! A LITTLE HELP HERE!!  
(Urd promptly gets rid of Gai, and teleports him to who knows where)  
Lee: NO!! GAI-SENSEI!!  
K-chan: no need to worry about him lee. he'll be alright. (whispers) I hope.

(Lee runs across platforms and obstacles with grace. TA-DA!! ok, moving on. gets punched off sucker punch TWICE)  
Rizu: that's a shocker. he probably would have dodged it.  
K-chan: true true.  
(he approaches the big balls with the wrong approach and ends up in the mud)  
Lee: how could it be?! no matter what, I must keep going!!  
everyone: oook….  
(lee goes onto the rope and hits the last ball spot on)  
Rizu: he finishes!! that was 33 seconds.  
Lee: I MUST DO 2000 PUSHUPS AND 100 LAPS AROUND THE VILLAGE TO REPENT FOR MY LOSS!  
(he disappears to do what was thus said by thee above)

K-chan: there he goes. I wonder what his goal was.  
Rizu: whatever….Tenten, you're up!  
Tenten: Happy happy joy joy. FINE.  
(she runs, jumps, and gets punched in the middle of da punch)  
Tenten: RATS. (goes up to big balls…falls on the third one)  
Lee: KEEP ON GOING, MY FLOWER!! (when did he get back??)  
Tenten: for the last friggin' time. I'M NOT YOUR STUPID FLOWER!! (throws a shuriken at lee)  
Lee: AUGH! (why Tenten had weapons on her at the moment, the world may never know)  
everyone else: ……  
(she gets on the rope and lands, swift and sure)

Rizu: go you!!  
Tenten: uh….ok?  
K-chan: hmm….30 seconds!!  
Rizu: go Neji!!  
Neji: ……………………………..

(he runs, jumps, and surprisingly doesn't get hit)  
Neji: this is called skill.  
Tenten: SHUT UP!! YOU'RE JUST LUCKY!  
Neji: suure….  
(goes up big balls and walks across them like Shika did. Tenten fumes)  
Urd: whoa. just chill girl.  
K-chan: what she said!!  
(Skuld rolls her eyes at the author)

(Neji lands on ball….and then falls with a graceful splash)  
Tenten: yes!! he fell!! you owe me 10 bucks Neji!!  
Neji: shoot…..  
Rizu: you two made a bet?? Sucks for you Neji.  
Neji: SHUDDUP.  
K-chan: and the time is……27 seconds!! 2nd best!!

Rizu: the qualification round is done….  
K-chan: and we're out! for now.  
Everyone: see ya!!

--

I finally got this done….after a long wait…..sorry folks. kinda got writer's block in the middle of the chapter. I didn't want to make it repetitive so I was looking for ways to spruce up the trials, such as Tenten and Neji's bet, Gai's imprisonment and etc. I am very, VERY, SORRY if this is a crappy chapter. in your opinion, that is. see ya next chap!!

-K-chan


	24. Chapter 24: The Sweeper

Leaf Shinobi

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K-chan: HEY!! long time no see! sorry about the lack of updates…..blame my senseis. they pile MoUnTaiNs of projects and tests on us. well…me. and my school friends. don't know about Rizu.  
Neji: SUUUURE THEY DO.  
Rizu: NEJI!! YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE!! GO AWAY BEFORE YOU DIE!!  
Neji: GASP. whatever. girls are so noisy….  
Tenten: Don't start using sexism on them, you bastard!! you sound like freaking Shika!! (Neji finally shuts up)

K-chan: oh yeah. K-chan doesn't own Naruto or WIPEOUT. However, K-chan wishes that she did.  
Rizu: what's with the 3rd person??  
K-chan: don't ask K-chan, ask slzz!!!  
Rizu: ok??

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Sweeper

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K-chan: now that we're done with that round, onto the next!!  
Rizu: THE JUMPING POLE ROUND!!  
Everyone: ….ok??  
K-chan: the name is self explanatory. you're gonna be on poles over water and there is a revolving pole that swings around. You jump over it.  
Kiba: NO DUH….  
Rizu: (dripping with sarcasm) you finally caught on!! good for you!  
Akamaru: RRR! (Translation: EXCUSE ME?!)  
K-chan: Akamaru….chill. actually, it's called the sweeper….but moving ON!

Skuld: are we ready??  
Rizu: YUP!!  
Sigel: GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
(machine starts turning pole)  
K-chan: we're first starting with an ordinary pole. extras will come later.  
Rizu: now jump!  
(Neji, Sasuke, and Shikamaru pass the pole easily)  
Choji: AUGH!! (he trips over pole and falls down into the lake)  
K-chan: join us over here, with the warm crispy towels fresh from the dryer!! or should I say, Urd's Urd Bolt??  
Rizu: uh…..ok???

(machine keeps going)  
Belldandy: keep it up!!  
(Shino, Kiba, and Naruto easily clear it)  
Ino: Wh-AAAAUHHHHH! (sploosh)  
Sakura: YES!! Ino, you suck! sucker!!!!  
Ino: EXCUSE ME?? WOULD YOU LIKE TO REPEAT THAT??  
Sakura: SUCK. ER.  
K-chan: now, now…let's try not to kill each other!! ehehehehh…..  
Rizu: good luck with that K-chan.  
K-chan: now you people have to jump over it with sacks!! (throws potato sacks to the remaining victims)  
Shikamaru: how troublesome….what a drag……

(the wheels on the bus go round and-wait…the POLE on the mechanism goes round and round, and then someone falls!!!)  
Lee: NOO!!! (hangs onto pole with his sack-ish dress)  
Neji: expected…….  
Tenten: yup…..  
(lee gets flung off and the sack falls into the water)  
K-chan: it's going far!! 1000 meters! WOOT!  
Rizu: that's gotta hurt…

(Neji, Tenten, and Hinata jump over the revolving pole)  
Naruto: WOOT! I made it! (trips over foot) NOO!!  
Sasuke: loser…..  
Naruto: SHUDDUP TEME!!  
Sasuke: dobe…..wow.  
Rizu: now take off those sacks! (victims do what she says and receives dodge balls)  
K-chan: now, while the pole revolves, you get to throw balls at them and hope they fall! Urd, Belldandy, and Skuld, supply them balls until the next two people fall.  
Urd: of course!

(it keeps going round…Kiba gets slammed in the face by Shino, who is only 1 thing away)  
Kiba: CRAAP IIIIIT!!! (sploosh)  
Shino: …….  
K-chan: uh…..akamaru! come comfort your crestfallen-not really-master!  
Akamaru: uh roof? (WHY? it's not my fault he's such a klutz and horrible at dodging!)  
Belldandy: be a good boy, please??  
Akamaru: rawrf! (HELLO? I'M A MAN!! I'M UP TO HIS FREAKING WAIST!)  
Rizu: never mind??  
Kiba: don't mind him……

(the sweeper continues to sweep around….Hinata jumps to early and falls)  
Hinata: ah!!!  
Sakura: BOO YEAH! ONE LESS PERSON TO GET PAST! no offense or anything, Hinata.  
Hinata: none taken…..  
K-chan: come join us on the LOSER bench. just kidding. the 'safe for a while' bench.  
Rizu: now gimme those balls! (gets barraged with balls from the remaining 6 people) oww…  
K-chan: (sigh) ok, now we're gonna put a ring onto the sweeper. you're gonna have to jump through it.  
Sigel: going to attach the ring!

remaining six people: uh………..that's too small.  
Skuld: SIGEL! THAT'S A FREAKING BRACELET!  
Sigel: oops…..getting the hula hoop. my bad!!  
everyone else: ugh……….  
Skuld: I need to fix some of her circuits…  
(the right-sized hoop is put on)  
Sigel: much better. Voila! and my circuits don't needa be changed!!  
everyone: eh?? whatever…..

Rizu: START!!  
(machine starts to whir again)  
Sasuke, Neji, and Shikamaru: BOORING……  
Tenten and Sakura: meh…..  
(Shino jumps too high and knocks over the ring)  
K-chan: WHOOSH! there goes Shino da rocko!  
Shino: …….?  
K-chan: nevermind….  
Rizu: sure….shino come over to where da other Losers are!  
Shino: you two put the term losers as a good thing…especially K-chan.  
K-chan: that's because I always lose….  
Rizu: that's nice…

Remaining 5: SIGHS…..  
(jumpity jump jump jumpity SPLASH!)  
Sakura: DANG!!  
Tenten: that's what you get for bragging…tsk tsk!  
Sakura: yeah yeah…..(scowls. walks over to LOSER bench)

K-chan: time to take off the hula hoop!  
Shikamaru: (dully) then what are we getting now??  
Rizu: SOME SWIMMING POOL NOODLE THINGIES!  
Sasuke: this is stupid.  
Neji: why am I even here? I should've just went home and read a book or something. anything is better than this…  
K-chan: do I care?? NOO.

(Tenten, Neji, and Sasuke clear it, leaving?)  
Shika: darn. (WHOOSH! wait… wrong SFX. SPLASH! that's better)  
Tenten: yes! one less guy! WOOT!  
Sakura: AND YOU SAY I WAS BRAGGING??  
Ino: YEAH, WHAT ABOUT YOU?  
Tenten: oops…heheheh…  
(Ino and Sakura glare at poor Tenten. Hinata just stands there)

(the noodles attack again!!)  
Tenten: what! NOOOO!  
Neji: I'm getting my ten bucks back.  
Tenten: SHOOT!! fine.  
Rizu: am I missing something??  
K-chan: another bet, I suppose. siigh…

Rizu: anyways, onto the last obstacle!  
(Sasuke and Neji stare blankly at something out far in the distance…)  
Rizu: HELLO??!! (waves hand in front of them)  
Neji: ….? yes?  
K-chan: god, you're deaf.  
Sasuke: whatever…  
Rizu: we're adding smoking crows!! one of the John's called it the "Crowbar" ahah…get it?  
(everyone raises their eyebrows at Rizu)  
Rizu: ehh...don't mind me…  
K-chan: smoking crow…have fun you two, emo, sadistic kiddos!  
Neji and Sasuke: HN.

(jump, jump, jump)  
Rizu: it looks like they could go on forever…I"M BOORED.  
K-chan: well, I'll be waiting until one of them falls off and then I'll laugh.  
Neji: Uchiha, getting tired yet??  
Sasuke: nah..you? I didn't think the Hyuga were known for endurance, but oh well.  
(the two glare at each other)  
Neji: KUSO! (falls)  
Sasuke: what did I say?? I forgot..oh well. I WIN.  
everyone: eh?

K-chan: well, that brings the sweeper to a close. Sasuke wins!!  
Naruto: meh…why did I have to be so clumsy? (sulks)  
Kiba: I screwed up big time…. (leans on Akamaru)  
(Hinata plays with her fingers while Ino and Sakura argue)  
Choji: oh well…at least I still have my chips!  
Shikamaru: wow… (rolls eyes)  
Shino: …… (sulks internally)  
Tenten: you lost! =P  
Neji: shuddup. (glares)  
Lee: oww….sasuke won? YOSH! I MUST DO 3000 PUSHUPS TO REPENT! 1..2..3..  
everyone: you do that….  
Rizu: See ya next time!!

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Hope you enjoyed it! the next chap probably wont' be up for another month, so happy early thanksgiving!!

-K-chan


	25. Chapter 25: The Dreadmill

Leaf Shinobi

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K-chan: lalalala LA….ok. I'm bored. let's face it.  
Rizu: CRAAP IT! she's bored! that's bad!!  
K-chan: you know the drill… (grins evilly)  
Rizu: AAAH!!  
(K-chan chases Rizu around the grounds)  
Belldandy: I wish that those two would stop fighting, but I guess there's nothing I can do…  
Urd: by the way….K-chan and Rizu don't own my people, Naruto's people, or the poor wipeout people.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Road to the Final Four: The Dreadmill

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

K-chan: how did you like your free falls?  
everyone but Sasuke: UGH…  
Sasuke: (raises eyebrows) whatever.  
Rizu: we weren't asking you…so you can shuddup.  
Sasuke: FEH.  
K-chan: now we're on the start to the Final Four! if we ever did eliminate anyone. so, uh, (COUGH COUGH) THE FINAL TWELLVE!  
Neji: if you eliminated more contestants, then I would have less people to go against.  
Shikamaru: but then there would be a bigger chance of getting kicked out.  
Neji: so? it's not like you care.  
Shikamaru: oh yeah….

Rizu: this is how it's gonna work. first thing is the Dreadmill. dread it people! it's your basic treadmill with lotsa stuff added to make it hard.  
K-chan: lesee…there's gonna be a wrecking ball…  
everyone: … O.O  
Rizu: and random tennis balls…  
everyone: ugh….  
K-chan: doors….  
Rizu: and random FISHIES! and you wear flippas!  
Sasuke: WTC…..  
K-chan: it think that's it….  
everyone: GOOD.  
K-chan: the winner of the round is the person who has the most flawless or stupidest results.

Skuld: let's start! we'll first have just a plain treadmill…it gets faster and faster.

Rizu: then we'll add in the extras one by one. removing the old ones.  
K-chan: the first victim is….SHINO!  
Shino: joy. my life rules. NOT.  
(beep! the treadmill starts)  
Rizu: while we wait for him to fall….what should we do?  
K-chan: let's count….grass!  
Urd: god, they're hopeless…..  
Rizu: 1…..2…..3…..4…  
K-chan: FORGET IT! there must be a zillion blades out here. just add the next thing!  
(the doors are added)  
Shino: ……….ok then. (open….)

Sigel: this is booring..FALL!  
(Shino trips over foot. KA-THUNK)  
Skuld: YOU JINXED HIM!! SIGEL!! (has fire in eyes)  
Sigel: oops?? (grins innocently)  
Rizu: WRECKING BALL!  
K-chan: DUN DUN DUNNN!!  
(balls starts to go back and forth)  
Shino: oof!  
(he dodges, he gets bruised! dodge, bruise, dodge!)

Rizu: whatever. let's get rid of the ball and let's put the…FISHIES!  
Shino: …. (thinks: _WTF? WHY ME?_)  
K-chan: add da fishies!!  
Neji: these people have issues….good lord…  
Rizu: EXCUSE ME!?  
Neji: exSQUEEZE me. (OOC-ness, but OH WELLS)women have PROBLEMS.  
(he gets beat up by Tenten, k-chan, Urd, Skuld, Rizu, and some other random girls)  
the girls: SO DO GUYS! GEEZ.

Shino: I feel so ridiculous…. (has on flippers on feet)  
Kiba: start it up!! WOOT!  
(starts…has random inflatables and the occasional flopping fish)  
Shino: dang… (hop, hop)  
Hinata: Shino! there's a flying fi-  
Shino: AUUGH! IT BURNS!  
Kiba: (sweatdrop) you're wearing SUN GLASSES. how can it possibly BURN?  
Shino: oh yeah! sorry., dumb moment there.  
everyone else: O.o  
Rizu: er…take off those fins. YOU HAVE SURVIVED DA DREAADMILL!  
Belldandy: congrats!

K-chan: next victim is….SHIKA!  
Shikamaru: what a drag…why am I here?  
Ino: MOOVE!  
Shika: oh great..here we go.  
Rizu: RUN FOR YOUR DUMB LIFE!  
Shikamaru: how encouraging. sigh…  
Urd: fire ze tennis valls!  
Skuld: WOOT.  
Shikamaru: oh god.

(trips…falls on face)  
K-chan: ok, done with balls! put in the doors!  
Shikamaru: shoot.  
(opens door, crashes through the next)  
Ino: wow.  
Sakura: he's a major klutz.  
Rizu: FINS AND FISHIES!  
Skuld: she really is obsessed with that….

K-chan: that's just how the world is…

Shikamaru: I feel so stupid…. (is decked out in wonderful green flippers)  
Urd: that's the spirit…  
(jumpity, jump…POP)  
Ino: AHH!!!!!  
Shikamaru: mah bad.  
Skuld: there goes one inner tube…  
Urd: WRECKING BALL! mua haha!  
Shikamaru: why couldn't I just go home?

(fwoosh! Shika gets swept away by the ball and lands gracefully in a muddy area)  
Ino: HOW COULD YOU NOT SEE THAT BALL COMING?! THEY EVEN ANNOUNCED IT, YOU IDIOT!  
Shikamaru: now can I go?  
K-chan: you're done, but you can't go. too bad. sorry. PFFT.

Rizu: NEXT IS……um uh…who is it?  
K-chan: look. at. your. HAND. it's. on. the PAPER.  
Rizu: Riight….LEE!  
Neji: I wonder how this will all go down….  
Tenten: 5 bucks that lee gets the stupidest results.  
Neji: 5 bucks on Naruto for that.  
(the two 'lovebirds' glare at each other. as for why they always bet, ah, who cares?)

Lee: YOSH! I FINALLY GET A CHANCE TO SHOW THE WORLD MY YOUTHFULNESS!  
everyone: uh…. (sweatdrop)  
Tenten: yup, he's definitely going down….  
Neji: we'll see…….but I agree that he's gonna die on this.  
(lee starts running….and somehow gets to very front end of the tread mill. most people can't do that in 2 seconds…)  
K-chan: add the tennis balls!  
(plop, boing boing!)  
lee: AUGH! FLYING YELLOW DEMONS!  
Neji: (in a very patient tone…as if talking to someone who's slow. ACHEM CHEM) lee, those 'flying yellow demons' of yours are tennis balls. (nods slowly)  
lee: OF COURSE! WHY DIDN'T' I THINK OF THAT?!  
Tenten and Neji: (muttering) because your stupid….sigh.

Rizu: DOORS! open sesameeeeeeeee!!!!!"  
everyone: O.o oooook…..sure….  
lee: DOORS! uh oh…DOORS!! NOOOOOOO!  
K-chan: heh?  
(lee crashes thru the next, like, let's say….5)  
Tenten: OHH! what did I tell you?  
Neji: (frowns) whatever.

K-chan: dump the inflatables!  
Lee: (has stars in eyes) a giant inflated whale! I've always wanted one! (grabs it) can I keep it?  
Rizu: uhh…..whaddya think?  
lee: yes?  
Rizu: NO. that's utterly impossible.  
lee: WHY? (giant tears streaming down)  
Neji: here we go….  
(lee trips and falls off treadmill)  
Tenten: see…I made the BETTER choice. five bucks..pay up!  
Neji: Naruto still hasn't gone yet. I'm not THAT stupid.  
Tenten: damn! I thought I had you….  
Neji: sure. keep thinking that.

K-chan: DUN DUNN! THE WRECKING BALL IS HERE!  
lee: GAI-SENSEI! I SHALL SUCEE-  
(BOOM.)  
lee: AUUGH!!! (goes flying)  
everyone: smart… (sweatdrop)  
(Neji falls on his face)  
Rizu: er…I think that's it for lee..  
K-chan: NARUTO, GET YOU BUTT HERE NOW!  
Naruto: coming!!

Urd: I wonder how this will go…  
Neji: we'll see who wins.  
Tenten: yeah…suure.  
(glare. Naruto slides around, balancing on tennis balls)  
K-chan: (sarcastically) look at that GREAT technique used to balance on them! (rolls eyes)  
Naruto: WHAH!!  
(dumps doors)  
Naruto: (BAM!) oww…..

Neji: who's winning now?  
Tenten: SHUDDUP.  
Neji: as if.  
Tenten: ARGH! (death glare)  
Neji: sigh.

Naruto: DOORS! CRAAP IT!  
(BANG. CRASH. THUD)

Rizu: FISHY!  
Skuld: why exactly is she so obsessed with the whole inflatable thing?  
K-chan: beats me.  
Naruto: ugh….WAUGH! (BOOM. POP!)  
lee: WHALEY!!! NOO! YOU KILLED HIM!  
everyone: (blink blink) o.O wowie.

Tenten: the wrecking ball. oh joy.  
Neji: ……we'll see…..  
Naruto: ah! (jumps over) nanananana NA! (BONG.)  
K-chan: that didn't sound quite right…  
Rizu: ouchies.

Urd: time for…..HINATA!  
Hinata: ok……  
Skuld: good luck! XD  
(run run run…. tennis ball invasion! woot.)  
(Banpei is watching with 'enthusiasm')  
(Hinata kicks away some balls in the process)  
k-chan: door time! let's play door door. (a VERY old game that was played on THE ORIGINAL Nintendo. I don't own Nintendo.)

(Hinata actually OPENS the doors! omg!)  
Rizu: first person of the whole time who actually opened it!  
Shino: …..i did it first.  
Rizu: ok, ok. in a LOONG time.  
k-chan: no need to get so hissy. then again, I never knew that Shino COULD get hissy.  
Shino: DIE. NOW.  
everyone: O.O ok Shino, let's try not to kill somebody….  
Akamaru: WOF! (calm down!)

K-chan: and tis fish time again.  
Rizu: YEAH!  
Hinata: eh….(leap leap, jump)  
Belldandy: ah, she jumps with such grace!  
everyone else: er…yeah…sure.

Lee: FIX THIS WHALE. NOW!  
Neji: why? tell Naruto to…he's the one who broke it in the first place.  
Tenten: besides..i'll just dent it again…and POP. there goes poor 'whaley'. (puts finger quotes on whaley)  
Naruto: I'M NOT GONNA FIX THAT STUPID THING!  
Lee: HOW CAN YOU BE SO CRUEL? (sobs waterfalls of tears. drowns)

Neji: ook… (raises eyebrows)

K-chan: nice work Hina!  
Hinata: it's nothing really…..  
Rizu: INO'S UP!  
Ino: darn….  
Sakura: good luck porker!  
Ino: WHY DON'T YOU SHUT YOUR STUPID MOUTH, BILLBOARD BROW?!

(Ino runs, Sakura laughs)  
Sakura: your gait is hilarious!  
Ino: SHUDDUP! (trips) DIE SAKURA!  
(throws in tennis balls)  
Ino: YAUGH! (falls flat on face) THIS IS YOUR FAULT!  
K-chan: will she ever see the light?  
Rizu: I think not.

(door door! lol.)  
Ino: stupid doors..(open, slam, open, slam)  
Skuld: she must be mad..  
Shika: oh joy…rampage mode is going in 3…2…..1…

Ino: I'M THE WEARING THOSE FREAKING FINS! NO WAY.  
Rizu: yes way.  
Ino: NO.  
Rizu: YES.  
Ino: NO.  
Rizu: YeS.  
Ino: FIINE.  
Rizu: YAY!  
Ino: I HATE MY LIFE.  
Sakura: glad to hear it. (grins innocently)

Shikamaru: (flatly) and here's to the marvelous wrecking ball. this destructive thing was paid for by John and John.  
Ino: Shika-kun, what the heck?  
Shika: I'm bored. what am I supposed to do? the sky doesn't have any clouds today, so what's the point of looking up?  
k-chan: Ino, just go and face the stupid ball! god.  
(in rage, Ino punches it, sending it flying of its chain)  
Everyone: oh….my….god……O.O

Lee: YOSH! I shall get it!  
(two seconds later…)  
Lee: TA DA!  
Skuld: Sigel, Banpei, go reattach it!

Sigel: right on it!

Everyone: what…the……CRAP.

Rizu: we had a BIT of a problem..let's hope she will cool down when she gets back here. ANYWAYS. Next up is…  
K-chan: Tenten!!  
tenten: WHAT? Fine.  
Neji: I'm gonna watch you fall and kill yourself. Then I will laugh.  
Rizu: you're very…supportive.  
neji: I know, right?  
tenten: VERY supportive. (GLARE)

K-chan: get her done!  
(tennis balls are rolled in)  
Tenten: easy as cake.  
Neji: let's see how long she'll last…  
Rizu: Insert doors!  
(tenten OPENS it! ANOTHER PERSON WHO DID IT RIGHT!)

Lee: TENTEN! DON'T KILL ANOTHER FIS-  
(POP!!)  
Lee; NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!  
tenten: mah bad! NOT. (jog)  
(Lee sobs with giant waterfalls going down)  
skuld: are you ready for the BALL?  
tenten: Hell yeah, I'm ready for that ball.  
(she jumps over it, side steps it, and jumps on it and sits as it swings back and forth)  
tenten: WHEE! Sorry, but this is JUST addicting! So fun!  
(hangs upside down. More whee-ing comes from her)  
Neji: What the fuck?!

Lee: …………..  
K-chan: we should send her to the MI. TOTALLY.  
(belldandy gets tenten off da ball. Tenten frowns.)

Rizu: well, that's done…I guess.  
urd: SAKURA, GO!  
sakura: oh joy. Here goes nothing!  
(she expertly goes past the balls, thru the doors, and actually doesn't kill a fish inflatable thing)  
Ino: DIE! I HATE YOU.  
Sakura: I know you love me! XD  
(she side steps the ball, ducks, jumps, etc.)  
DING!  
K-chan: Nice run, sakura.  
sakura: arigato.. (sticks out tongue at Ino)

Neji: how childish..  
tenten: so? =P  
neji: oh god.  
tenten: a-foo. (blows bangs out of eyes)  
Rizu: NEJI! GET YOUR ARROGANT BUTT DOWN THERE NOW!  
neji: just my luck.

(he runs, dodges, and goes past doors)  
lee: NEJI,** PLEASE** DON'T KILL ANY FISHIES!  
Neji: sure. (jumps directly onto one. POP)  
Lee: NOO! POOR FISHY!  
neji: this is fun… (POP. WHOOSH! SQUEAK)  
lee: YOU'RE A SERIAL KILLER!

Neji: maybe I am…(whips out random Sharpie and scribbles X's for the eyes)  
lee: YOU VANDALIZED IT!  
Neji: (writes: Lee sucks) voila. A masterpiece.

(Lee cries. I laugh harder. So do you.)

rizu: can we start with the ball now?  
neji: whatev. Go ahead.  
(swings by…sidestep, jump, lies on conveyor belt)  
neji: now am I done?  
K-chan: yeah, sure.

Rizu; KIBA, GO.  
kiba; TIME TO SHINE!  
akamaru: rrr…. (did you HAVE to do that?)  
kiba; you're so insupportive…GOSH.  
akamaru: rawf! (YES. I did)

Kiba: Whatever. (starts running)  
(balls come in)  
Kiba: dun dun DUNN! Mommy! Help me! I'm SCARED!  
shino: is that supposed to be YOUR imitation of ME?  
kiba: MAYBE.  
shino: you die TODAY.  
(kiba trips)

Kiba: SHINO, YOU HAVE BAD KARMA!  
shino: yes. The planets were aligned.  
(kiba smashes thru door)  
Kiba: MERCURY WAS ALIGNED WITH THE SUN!  
shino: mercury is ALWAYS aligned with the sun. that means I have bad karma EVERY day. In which I DON'T.  
kiba: I KNEW THAT! TOTALL-(trips over real fish and smacks face into another REAL fish)

Kiba; EW! IT BURNS! AND SMELLS BAAD!!!!  
shino: now you know how it feels.  
hinata: shino-kun…you had glasses on..  
shino: THAT'S BESIDES THE POINT.  
hinata: ook..

Kiba: giant ball…DUN DUNN DUNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!  
k-chan: doing that. It's getting old.  
kiba: DUN DUN DUN DUN DUNN DUN DUUNNNNN! Too bad. (gets hit by ball…goes FLYING)  
K-chan: that's what you get for disagreeing with the author and her superpowers. (nods)

Kiba: oww…

Rizu: hmm…SASUKE!  
sasuke: my life is…(tries to find right word) OVER.  
K-chan: so what? It's not like you're important to me. =D  
sasuke: ……… (glares)  
(runs…dodges balls, kicks one in K-chan's face, which goes flying back at him)  
sasuke: AUGH!!  
K-chan: I'M THE AUTHOR. REMEMBER THAT.  
sasuke: sure. Way to bruise my ego.  
K-chan: that's what I do best. =P

(he goes past doors, kills some fish, and survives the ball)  
K-chan: congrats…not.  
(sasuke death glares)

Rizu: choji's next!  
choji: aw man..  
(stumbles over balls, smashes thru doors…)  
choji: my day's getting worse..  
shikamaru: keep on going…  
Choji: thanks pal!  
shikamaru: sure…?

K-chan: WRECKING BALL!!  
(choji repels ball with his meat tank jutsu thing.)  
Ino: that was beast!  
Rizu: ino, nobody says that anymore.  
Ino: SO?  
K-chan: forget it..

Rizu: next time we'll be back with the dizzy dummy! More later!

I'M DONE! OMG. Sorry guys, for the long wait. Got writer's block..as usual. Yeah. But it was up before new year's! am I good or what? (SAY YES. Jkjk) ok, catch ya later in 2009!

-K-chan


	26. Chapter 26: Dizzy Dummy

Leaf Shinobi

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Urd: She don't own us…or Naruto and his friends.  
K-chan: I SERIOUSLY think they get the point Urd.  
Urd: TOO BAD.  
K-chan: Mo…fine. be that way. psht.

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Dizzy Dummy

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K-chan: this is when things get diiiiiizy.  
Rizu: featuring, our new torture device, called the DIZZY DUMMY!  
K-chan: makes people so dizzy, even the smartest will look like dum dum heads!  
Neji: wtf  
Tenten: dun dun-  
Lee: DUNNNN!!!!!!!!!!  
(lee gets hogtied by Sigel while K-chan presses a button to trap him in a random underground cell)

Rizu: we'll do this by 4's. there are four teams here. we'll pick a person from each team to go.  
K-chan: you will get spun around for a minute, and then released to complete the obstacle course. if you fall off, you have to start from the beginning.  
Rizu: after the first person gets done, the remaining 3 have to get back on to that torture device for some more spinning time. then the 3 start again. another person passes, spin again, etc.  
K-chan: I hope you don't die.  
Shikamaru: thanks for the sympathy. I really appreciate it.

Rizu: first up are the girls! Ino, Sakura, Tenten, and Hinata, come on UP!  
Tenten: ode to joy….evil ploy.  
Sakura: at least we'll die together.  
(group hug)  
Shino: split it up and just go. we're wasting more time by the minute.  
(girls glare at Shino)

Hinata: I don't have a good feeling about this…  
Ino: I easily get sea sick…  
Skuld: too bad!!  
Tenten: Here we go…  
(spin, round, and round the merry go round! spin. Just looking at it will make you diizzzy.)

Sakura: Ugh…. (trips over foot into lake) DARN!  
Ino: HAHAHAHAH-(SPLASH)  
Tenten: almost…THERE!! (trips over last thing) NNOOOOOO…..(splash)  
Hinata: eh….(crawls to finish)  
Rizu: HINA DID IT! GO HINATA! girls, back to the drawing board!  
Tenten: I think I'm gonna be sick..

Sigel: GO Tenten! IF YOU CAN'T DO IT, NO ONE CAN!! XD  
Tenten: what the heck. O.O  
Ino: I hate this….  
(spin spinny whirl a go roundy…..i'm bored, so yeah. using made up words. doncha love em?)  
Hinata: I'm glad that's over….(the girls glare at her) for me, that is.

Tenten: (muttering) much better…(this time, she hangs on for dear life on the floating mats)

Sakura: I hope I make it….  
Ino: YOU WON'T BEAT ME!  
Tenten: how the hell can you two be so hyper when the world seems to be falling!?  
(the two shrug. Shikamaru and Sasuke sweatdrop. Neji signs in unison with Tenten as Ino and Sakura fall into the lake)  
Tenten: oh well. VICTORY FOR ME! (scrambles to end) PHEW!  
K-chan: yay Tenten! oh darn..(looks mischieviosuly at Sigel) if she did it, that means those two can…  
(the blonde and rosette glare at K-chan)  
Rizu: BACK TO DA SPINNARET!

(spins, oh the horror! haha. be glad I didn't put you on it)  
Sakura: gotta…make…it…  
Ino: NEVER!!! (trips Sakura)  
Sakura: DAMMIT!  
(she goes to the starting point and runs in a daze past Ino and to the finish)  
Sakura: BEAT THAT PORKER!  
Lee: HOW YOUTHFUL!  
(Neji kicks lee's legs and lee falls)  
Lee; OWW!!  
Ino: WHADDYA SAY BILLBOARD BROW?!  
(screaming, POW noises, and bitch slapping ensues)  
Urd: split it, you two. you're giving me a headache.  
(glaring continues)

K-chan: next are….choji, lee, Naruto, and Kiba!! have fun!  
Kiba: drat it!  
lee: I SHALL PREVAIL! (receives another kick in the shins from Neji)  
Choji: whoop dee do…….  
(first round of torture!)  
Lee: woah… (flails arms wildly to balance) SPLASH  
Naruto: one person down! YESS!  
Kiba: look who's talking….(mimics lee) I SHALL PREVAI—(falls in)  
Choji: clear the way!!  
Shikamaru: he just actually might make it. WOW.  
(Choji rolls his way to the finish)  
Choji: GO ME!

Rizu: back to the torture chamber boyz.  
lee: IF A FAIL I WILL DO 1000 LAPS AROUND Konoha!  
Neji and Tenten: …..RETARDED IDEA.  
Lee: is not!  
Neji and Tenten: Is TOO. now stop arguing.  
Lee: wh-AHH (gets spun around so fast, his head jerked and a loud BLOK noise was heard)  
Belldandy: Skuld, is that contraption that you altered safe?  
Skuld: sure as heck, it's safe. he must have a bad spine or something.  
K-chan: he does…  
Skuld: we're in for trouble. (GULP)  
(receives glares from K-chan, Rizu, Urd, Neji, and Tenten)  
Skuld: eep?

Lee: I don't feel so well…  
(everyone glares at Skuld)  
Skuld: I'M SORRY, OK!?  
Lee: BUT I SHALL SUCEED!!! (stumbles to the end)  
Neji and Tenten: Oh….my……gosh….. O.o HE ACTUALLY MADE IT?! THE WORLD'S SCREWED! (both faint and drop to the ground)  
everyone: ….uh….

K-chan: third round!! have fun Kiba and Naruto!  
Naruto: this sucks…I mean, what is in it for me?  
Rizu: THERE'S A ICHIRAKU GIFT CARD! (acts enthusiastic just so he'll shuddup)  
Naruto: CHARGING TO THE FINISH!!

(he reaches the end, and then barfs)  
Kiba: ew man, what did you have?  
Naruto: 5 bowls….i don't feel so well…(runs off to bathroom)  
K-chan: Belldandy, could you clean up this, uh, pile, of, uh, vomit? please?  
Belldandy: (sigh) sure… (mutters incantation. glop disappears! voila!)  
Kiba: …………….ew..?

Rizu: Neji, Sasuke, Shikamaru, and Shino! GO!  
K-chan: poor Neji, he's the only one whose name starts with N…XD  
Neji: do I look like I care?  
Rizu: the human ice cube doesn't cease his demeanor….JUST GO, GOD DAMMIT!  
Shikamaru: troublesome women...  
all the females: WHAT DID YOU SAY??

Urd: HIT IT! (vrm…spin spin)  
Sasuke: my life sucks.  
Neji: I was fated to have bad luck…  
Shino: why am I even with you people?  
Shika: I don't care, I just want to get the hell outta here….what a DRAG…

(the four guys are released into a spinning, dizzying version of what the world used to be. nah, no)  
Sasuke: kuso………..  
Shikamaru: I'll just make myself last. I'll survive 3 rounds of spinning… (jumps into lake on purpose and swims SLOWLY to the start)  
K-chan: YOU SUCK LIKE CRAP Shikamaru!  
Neji: tch…trying to run away, that nara.  
Shino: smart thinking…I might as well do that sooner or later…

Rizu: dang, these guys are lazy and smart…  
K-chan: naw DUH.  
(Neji easily makes it to the finish)  
Rizu: back to the start!  
Shikamaru: one round down, 2 to go…  
Shino: I'm joining you next round.  
Sasuke: aw man, you people suck!

Neji: I'm glad I'm done with that…..(sighs)  
Tenten: yeesh…….  
Shino: I'm diving. bye! (dives in and swims at a snails pace—WAIT. slower than a snail's pace)  
Shikamaru: later Sasuke. just go! (jumps in)  
Sasuke: dang, these people are almost suicidal…(spins to finish)

K-chan: LAZY LOSERS, GET YOUR ASSES BACK TO THE SPINNER.  
Shika and Shino: yes ma'am….erg.  
(Shika finally decides to just get this done with and barely makes it to the finish)  
Rizu: finally! we are done with this!

the ninja: (sarcastically) yay…  
K-chan: there's more to come!  
ninjas: NOOO!!!!! (no saracasm this time, XD)

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The final round is up next. Who will win? (NOBODY!) REVIEW PLEASE!! I haven't gotten reviews for the LONGEST time, and my inbox feels empty. =(

-K-chan


	27. Chapter 27: Wipeout Zone

Leaf Shinobi

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Hello guys! I is back! (go horrible grammar! WOOT) I don't own Naruto. if I did, then all of Akatsuki would be gay and poor (oh poor kakuzu). If I owned OMG, then Urd would…uh….put love potions on the whole world. I dunno yet.

and I don't own Wipeout. forgot to mention that earlier. If I did, the Johns would be doing the obstacle courses while the 'contestants' watched and made comments. XD

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Wipeout Zone

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Rizu: IT'S THE WIPEOUT ZONE!  
K-chan: the LAST round of this 'competition'.  
everyone: finally….  
Rizu: first, you shall choose your mode of transportation—air mattress, sled, inflatable boat (BOO YA!) or…uh….an inner tube (a.k.a. those donut hole inflatables)!  
K-chan: you slide down the Killer Surf, and then you reach what I like to call the Donkey Kong mini arena!  
Rizu: jump over the barrels…  
K-chan: cross the rock wall, jump on the spinning thing…  
Rizu: and land on the finish!!  
Both Hostesses: AND IF YOU DON'T, YOU START FROM WHERE YOU LEFT OFF!  
everyone else: yaayyy. Not.  
Neji: but then again, we'll be free after this.  
K-chan: when did I say anything about freeing you losers? (grins evilly)  
Sasuke: CRAP IT. O.O

Rizu: who would like to volunteer?  
(crickets chirp)  
Tenten: wow..even Lee won't participate.  
(Lee is found with his arms crossed and teeth chattering)  
Naruto: he's actually freaked…  
Neji: I just remembered…he big falls…..yeesh.  
Tenten: OH YEAH!! (lightbulb appears on top of head)  
Neji: sure…  
K-chan: then Shikamaru gets to go first!!  
Shikamaru: this sucks.

Rizu: take your pick of transport.  
Shika: uh…air mattress. (thinks: I wonder…could I take a nap now?)  
Ino: NO NAPPING! you'd drown.  
Shikamaru: crap you all…  
(slides down. let the fun start!)

K-chan: he splashes in! let's watch him swim SLOWLY to the donkey kong simulation..whatever.  
Shikamaru: shit…..stupid stupid stupid! (jumps over barrels)  
Rizu: lookit him go!  
Urd: this is slightly entertaining…thank god this is my last shift of camera duty. K-chan, you're gonna live at Morisato's for a month  
K-chan: oh right….CRAPPPPPPP. he's so…PERVERTED!! (screams in delirium) motor freakist!!  
Belldandy: your karma will get back to you some day..  
K-chan: my friends and I already have bad karma. LYN! wherever the heck she is…

Shikamaru: this sucks. (shimmies—so funny—past the rock wall) hmm… (mutters to self)  
Rizu: I'm assuming he's calculating to make his jump?  
K-chan: I guess…. (takes out popcorn from nowhere) ah! fresh, hot, and buttery.  
Choji: I want some!  
K-chan: get your own!  
Choji: but..but.. (tear!)  
K-chan: fine.. (throws bucket) I'm not hungry anyways..  
shikamaru: here goes nothing. (jumps) oh god… (hangs on for dear life)  
Rizu: oh dear…feh..

Ino: go Shika! you're almost there!  
Shikamaru: finally…. (jumps and lands)  
Rizu: we have a survivor!  
(random music plays)  
Skuld: next is….KIBA!  
Kiba: crap. NOO!!! what did I do to deserve this??  
Urd: FATE!  
Tenten: please shut up. now you people sound like Neji wannabes.  
Neji: that sounded REALLY wrong…  
Tenten: mah bad…

K-chan: Kiba, good luck!  
Kiba: oh gee, thanks.  
hina: good luck Kiba!!  
Akamaru: RUFF! (ditto!)  
Kiba: I want..the INNERTUBE!  
Rizu: m'kay.

Kiba: here I go!! WHEE!  
k-chan: wow…he can actually have fun while he plunges…creepy.  
Sakura: I take it you're not one for heights?  
K-chan: on slides, yes, on planes, no.  
Sakura: k then.

Rizu: he swims fast!  
Shino: aka the dog paddle…  
Kiba: IT IS NOT THE DOGGIE PADDLE! (does dog paddle)  
Urd: what a hypocrite…  
K-chan: jump for your life!!!  
(Kiba jumps past the barrels)  
Kiba: dang! (trips and slides down ramp)  
Akamaru: ARROFF! (you can do better, now show it!)  
(he crawls past barrels and gets past rock wall with ease)

Rizu: now the feared spinning thingamabob!  
Kiba: uh oh…HAI YA!  
(lands safely)  
Kiba: that's what I'm talking about!!  
everyone: uh…ok then…  
(he jumps and lands on the finish!)

Belldandy: next up is….tenten!  
Tenten: nooes!!!!  
Neji: good luck. (smirk)  
Tenten: god….you suck. I choose you, SLEDDO!  
everyone: Tenten..are you ok? o.O  
Tenten: had a moment…ehehh (blushes)

(she zooms down at swims to the donkey kong thing)  
Rizu: lookit Tenten go!  
Tenten: ……..  
(she jumps over everything SWIFTLY!!)  
lee: OUR YOUTHFUL BLOSSOM SHALL SUCEED!!  
Neji: what the heck… (kicks lee in the shins)  
Naruto: I SHIN YOU! (raises knee) (A/N: shin, shun…get it? if you don't…then uh..NEVER MIND)  
Sakura: oh god… (smacks Naruto in the face)

Tenten: I don't wanna know what's happening back there! (jumps onto spinner)  
Skuld: okey dokes….eh?  
(Tenten jumps to the finish)  
Lee: SHE MADE IT!  
Neji: naw, duh. I thought she drowned. (slaps lee once more)

Rizu: our next victim is Sasuke!  
Sasuke: …………. (death glare)  
K-chan: SUCK IT UP.  
Sasuke: I will kill you after this.  
Rizu: uh huh..SURE.

(he takes the inner tube down!)  
K-chan: he's in for a spin—ooh! that's gotta hurt. (he lands head first into lake)  
Rizu: and he swims to the barrel jump!  
Sasuke: screw this! (jumps over barrels while cussing)  
K-chan: (gasps) bad Sasuke! cussing is bad for you!  
Sasuke: what the fuck…  
Urd: naughty, naughty! (does the shame on you gesture)

(he goes past the rock wall)  
Sakura: go Sasuke!  
Sasuke: (sigh) this sucks.  
(jumps to spinner)  
K-chan: almost there!  
(he finishes!)

Belldandy: our next lucky one is Choji!  
Choji: aw mann……  
Shikamaru: have fun. not.  
Ino: GOO CHOJI!  
Choji: uh oh spaghetti-o's!!  
everyone: WHAT…THE…HELL?  
Choji: had a moment there. sorry!  
everyone: UH……

(he takes the mattress down la slope!)  
SPLASH!  
Shikamaru: I see the biggest cannonball in history…..  
K-chan: the biggest splash in Wipeout history…  
Choji: so far…AWAY!! (frantically swims to donkey kong simulation)  
(becomes a ball and just knocks over all the barrels)  
Rizu: HEY!! THAT'S CHEATING!  
Skuld: well, it's called SABOTAGE wipe out for some reason….  
Rizu: fine…..

choji: this rock wall's too SKINNY!! (falls)  
Ino: Choji!! what a klutz….  
Shikamaru: that's how the cookie crumbles. we have no sensei, we have a fashion freaked girl, a lazy genius, and a clumsy guy.  
Choji: almost there!! (makes it past wall..jumps on spinner)

Neji: sighs…so bored!!  
Tenten: yes indeedy…  
Lee: you can do it Choji!  
Choji: (jumps!) THE TASTE OF SWEET SUCCESS!!  
Ino: doncha mean feel?  
Choji: STOP RAINING ON MY PARADE!! (glare)  
Ino: ok ok….whatever.  
Shika: BURN.

Skuld: our next person is….NEJI!!  
Neji: may the kami have pity….i'm surrounded in a group of idiots.  
Tenten: ……. (glare)  
Neji: MAINLY idiots.  
Tenten: thank you….yeesh.  
Rizu: take it away!  
Neji: you make it sound like I'm performing on Konoha Idol.  
Urd: maybe you ARE…  
Neji: what the crap.

(he takes an innertube down and splashes)  
Lee: that looks bad!  
Tenten: SHUT UP. (kicks)  
lee: (tear) OWW…  
Sakura: morons…  
(Neji swims to the ramp and clears the barrels)  
Belldandy: there he goes!!

Neji: this is STUPID!  
Sasuke: really? I thought it was fun! (rolls eyes)  
(gets past wall, jumps on spinner, and reaches the goal)  
Skuld: GOOOAAALLLL!  
lee: GOOD WORK NEJI! (smiles brightly)  
Neji: ……

Rizu: next is….SAKURA-CHAN!!  
Sakura: DON'T CALL ME WITH SUCH A FAMILIAR NAME!!  
Rizu: eep. WHY?  
Sakura: BECAUSE I SAID SO! (vein throb)  
Rizu: ook….  
Sakura: Neji this!  
Neji: who called?

Sakura: MUST SCREW THIS!!  
Neji: this is why I hate my name at times.  
K-chan: your loss. XD

(she rides a mattress down! and she swims to the barrel jump!)  
Sakura: SO…STUPID!!  
K-chan: that's the whole point.  
Sakura: AUGH!! (resists urge to punch the author)  
K-chan: I know you love me! (smirks evilly)  
everyone: MUST KILL…..

(she jumps over all the barrels)  
sakura: stupid…………(crosses rock wall)  
Rizu: stupidity is the meaning of life. XD  
(Sakura eventually makes it over and finishes)  
Sakura: THANK THE KAMI! yeesh.

K-chan: next is…..INO!!  
Ino: you're going down Sakura!!  
Sakura: I already went, dumbass.  
Ino: ….. (glares)

(she takes the sled speedily down the ramp)  
Ino: must win…  
Rizu: nobody will win Ino…  
Ino: SHUT THE HELL UP. DO I LOOK LIKE I CARE?  
K-chan: right…forgot about that.  
Sakura: …… ok then.

Ino: to heck with this! (jumps past barrels and crosses rock wall)  
Tenten: that's the spirit! not…  
(she jumps on spinner…jumps to finish)  
Ino: DONE! FINALLY.  
Rizu: Dude. you didn't take that long.  
Ino: your point being?  
Rizu: I dunno..

K-chan: drumroll please!  
(drum hesitantly goes)  
K-chan: NARUTO! the total moron!  
Naruto: YAY M—WHAT? (glares)  
Sasuke: you heard her.  
Naruto: I wasn't asking you!  
Sasuke: sure, dobe.  
Naruto: WHY YOU…  
Sakura: listen folks, we don't have time! just go, god dammit! (holds up fist)  
Naruto: fine….(backs off slowly) meep

(takes mattress)  
Naruto: WHEE!!  
Rizu: what the crap…  
(he swims quickly toward the barrel jump)  
Neji: I'm gonna laugh when he falls.  
Sasuke: ditto.  
(Naruto actually clears it)

K-chan: he just keeps going!!  
Sakura: that's..uh..new.  
Naruto: BELIEVE IT!  
Rizu: shut up! (throws random black boot at his head)  
Naruto: OWW! (rubs growing bump on head)

(crosses rock wall)  
Naruto: PEDAL TO THE MEDAL!  
Shikamaru: dude…there's no car.  
Naruto: right….TOO BAD!  
Ino: stupid…  
(he jumps on the spinner)  
Naruto: almost the—(falls)

Sasuke: loser.  
Naruto: SCREW THIS SPINNER!  
Sakura: ok then…you do that.  
(jumps on spinner correctly, and makes it to the end stand)

Rizu: next is…LEE!  
lee: I SHALL PREVAIL IN THE SUNSET OF YOUTH!  
Neji: lee, just give it up. NOW.  
Tenten: LAAME.  
(both sane teammates kick lee)  
lee: WHY ARE YOU TWO SO MEAN TO ME?!  
Neji: at least he knows.  
Tenten: yes, indeedy.

(he takes the innertube and slides down backwards)  
lee: I AM INVINCIIBLE! (bird crap drops on head)  
everyone: egh…. EWW  
Lee: AUH! THE PLAGUE OF BIRD DOO!  
Tenten: can't you say crap for once?  
lee: IT IS A POTTY WORD. I MUST NOT SAY IT.  
Neji: oh well….. (rolls eyes, then smirks) lee, you have bird shit on your head. right in the center.  
Lee: NEJI IS A SINNER! HE CURSES TOO MUCH!  
Neji: wtf..

(passes barrel jumping, rock wall, and spinner)  
Lee: almost there…  
(gets to finish)  
lee: I'VE MADE IT, GAI-SENSEI!  
Neji and Tenten: good. now shut the hell up.

K-chan: SHINO!! get your butt here now.  
Shino: great…  
Kiba: have fun buddy!  
Shino: STOP. CALLING. ME BUDDY.  
Kiba: fine, fine….MEH.

(Shino picks the mattress)  
shino: here goes..  
Kiba: GO MAN!  
Shino: dude..seriously. stop.  
Kiba: AWW…  
(Shino ignores him and swims to the donkey kong exhibit)

Kiba: THERE GOES MY BABY OFF TO KILL PEOPLE!  
(Shino sends his beetles after Kiba)  
Kiba: AUGH!!! NOOO! DON'T KILL ME!  
(Shino continues to go thru the obstacle course)  
Hinata: Shino!! stop torturing Kiba!  
Shino: fine… (makes beetles stop chasing poor Kiba)  
(Shino finishes the course)  
Kiba: WHEW! thanks Hinata  
Hinata: sure….

Rizu: hina-chan, ur up!  
Hinata: oh..ook.  
(takes sled)  
Naruto: GO HINATA!  
Neji: ……….  
Tenten: I'm BOORREED.

(she gracefully swims over, passes the stands, and shimmies past the rock wall)  
Kiba: keep on going!  
Hinata: (sighs) …..hm…..  
(jumps over spinner, and completes the final round)

K-chan: WE ARE FINALLY DONE!  
Rizu: yes, we are.  
K-chan: thank you to all you poor characters.  
everyone: Uh… O.O

101010101010101010101

"now can we leave?" Sasuke muttered. Neji just stared at the floor in utter boredom.

"NO!" I yell. "next time, you people are learning Spanish!"

ino fell on her head. "OH CRAP!"

Sakura smirked. "what's wrong Ino, can you not handle it?"

Ino sighed loudly. "YESS.." (she admits it!!)

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like said, next chap is la clase de espanol. I don't know how to insert the accents, so you Spanish speakers bear with me. for those of you who no habla espanol, there will be translations. no worries. I'm sorry that these wipeout chapters have been getting worse and worse…they just get repetitive and I run out of ideas.

See ya!  
-K-chan


	28. Chapter 28: Los Ninjas Tomar español!

Leaf Shinobi

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K-chan don't own Naruto. PFFT. tis sad. but I don't, ok? and no, I'm not Spanish. I just take it.

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Los Ninjas Tomar español

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It was a hot summers day, and all of Konoha 12 was summoned to Tsunade's room. Everyone was irritable because it was so humid. of course, Shika complained that it was a drag.

"seriously…out of all the days to call us here…" he grumbled, clasping his hands together behind his head. "I really hate big group missions…"

as the teens complained, Tsunade sat behind her desk scheming out her time of torture for them. once every last one of the teens arrived, she began.

"Ok folks," the whole group shut up and stared at her. "YOU GUYS ARE GONNA LEARN SPANISH!" a collective groan went around the room.

"I don't' WANT to learn another language…" Ino grumbled, twisting her ponytail. "we're ninja…when the heck will we encounter people who speak SPANISH? the first Spaniards we'll see will be like, 5,000 miles away from here."

Tsunade grinned. "just for the heck of it," chuckling almost evilly. She received death glares from Neji, Sasuke, and Shino (if you could see his eyes…the stupid sunglasses are blocking them). "eheh..heh." her laughter faded.

meanwhile, Iruka walked into the room and declared, "_Yo soy tu profesor!_" the teens stared blankly. "eh?" Tenten muttered.

Iruka cleared this throat, then yelled, "I AM YOUR TEACHER!" then a collective "what the heck did I do to deserve this" came around the room. Neji rolled his eyes and sighed loudly. The group then marched toward the academy.

"why do we HAVE to go back to the ACADEMY to do this?" Naruto whined. "I feel like such a retard…" the rest nodded in agreement. well, except lee. "THIS IS THE TIME TO EXPAND OUR HORIZONS!" lee screamed with glee. Neji and Tenten promptly took him down. (poor lee.)

At the academy….

"tomen asiento!" Iruka said cheerfully as the teens trudged into the dreaded room. They stared at him blankly in unison, except for Neji.

"he said, 'sit,'" Neji muttered, taking the chair in closest to a dark corner. Sasuke took the second seat closest to that corner. the girls sat in a group in the back, lee sat in the front, and the rest of the guys took the remaining seats randomly.

Tenten rolled her eyes. "and you know this HOW?" for once, Shikamaru was outclassed in language. Neji smirked. he then put on his notorious "that's-for-me-to-know-and-you-to-learn" face.

"Prestan atención, por favor," Iruka yelled. everyone turned their heads at the sound of a word that sounded like 'attention'.

right after that, Choji took out a bag of BBQ chips and began to eat them. Shika stole a few once in a while. the act went unnoticed by Iruka a few minutes. once Iruka noticed the scheme, he yelled, "no comer en clase!"

the two snackers stared blankly ahead. "eh?" Choji muttered with his mouth full. everyone snickered. Neji smirked, then shouted, "he meant 'no eating in class.'"

Choji shrugged and continued to munch. meanwhile, Iruka was on nerve's end. "wah, but—augh!" he yelled.

"and you know this how??" Tenten muttered. "I took latin, ok?" Neji huffed. "it's muy similar." Everyone glared at him except the clueless Iruka.

"ok, people. we're gonna learn the alphabet...EN ESPAÑOL!" Iruka announced. the whole class stared at him like he was mental. "just bear with me…" he grumbled.

"repeta clase," Iruka sighs. "ah (A), bay (B), say (C), day (D), A (E!), effay (F), hey (G)." the class slowly repeated that, dragging out each letter. Nobody was enjoying this.

They eventually got to the end. For X (equis), Iruka said, "ever heard of the beer Double Equis? you know, double X's??" he raised his eyebrows, trying to get a reaction from his rather dead class. He even put his fingers in an X gesture and made sure the class saw it. No response. "I guess not…"

Then Iruka moved on to verbs, such as ir (go), dar (give) and estar (is. btw, is there an accent above the A? oh wells…too lazy to check textbook).

As they got to dar, Iruka said, "the first person form of dar is DOY! isn't that funny? like naw doy?" he raised his eyebrows. The class simultaneously rolled their eyes and groaned in disgust.

Through out the whole lesson, crickets just seemed to chirp more and more. Iruka wasn't getting anything out of the reluctant teens, and the teens were **totally** "living" the moment.

After a long wasted day of attempting Spanish, class was dismissed. Gracias Dio! (Thank God)

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I know people, I'm losing my touch. SORRY!!! It's just that my brain has gone dead from all the projects and tests at the end of the school year. CRAPPIT ALL. my foul mouth has still lived though. XD

ALL READERS IN HOPES OF BETTER CHAPTERS, REVIEW WITH "**PLEASE!**". I hope that school will get more easy and my brain will suddenly revert to it's mental creativeness (both highly unlikely to happen, sadly)

-K-chan


	29. Chapter 29: Off on a Picnic

Leaf Shinobi

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WOAH! I haven't wrote in a long long time. summer flies. T-T and K-chan procrastinates. yup. the life of a horrible FF author. this chap came from the picnic I had with my aunt, uncle, and cousins this summer.

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Off on a Picnic

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it is summertime. and summer calls for…A PICNIC! without picnics, what is summer? LAZINESS SPENT INDOORS WATCHING TV, PLAYING VIDEO GAMES, OR SURFING THE WEB! but that's not the point. on to rookie 9's almost-july 4th picnic…

101010101010101010101

Sakura: happy almost July 4th! why are we celebrating this? I have no clue!  
Sasuke: it's not like we're American or anything…but psht. it's for the fun of it. we're waiting for the others.  
Naruto: AND I LOVE SANDWICHES. but…RAMEN IS BETTER! (there he goes again with his ramen)

Sakura: (achem!) well, you did KILL our rice Krispie treats.  
Sasuke: yeah! the dessert is better off dead than alive.  
Sakura: IT'S A PILE OF STICKY CEREAL IN A BOWL, GOD DAMMIT!! (angry side flares)  
Sasuke: meep? (inches away)  
Naruto: (scratches head) uh, oops? (grins nervously)

Sakura: we'll be discussing random things this afternoon, so enjoy the…uh….improvised picnic.  
Naruto: THESE GARDEN SALSA SUNCHIPS (I don't own sunchips. sadly. I luv them tho) ARE GOOD!  
Sasuke: IT'S ONLY 10:30, STUPID! WHY THE HECK ARE YOU STARTING LUNCH!  
Naruto: I didn't have breakfast. =D  
Sakura and Sasuke: (sigh and smack heads) Naruto….

Sakura: ooh!! a lizard!!! (walks away to observe lizard)  
Naruto: I'M BOREDDD.  
Sasuke: I don't' really care. I'm bored too.  
Sakura: cloud watching anyone? for once, Shikamaru's advice comes in handy.  
Sasuke and Naruto: sure, why not?

(the ninja's stare at the sky)

five minutes later….

Naruto: I'M BOREDDD.  
Sasuke: again. (sighs. his eyes bug out) INSECT!!!!!! YAUGHHHHH!! (runs around screaming like a little kid)  
Naruto: AHHHHHH!!! (stops) wait. what are we screaming about?  
Sasuke: INSECT!! (continues to run around yelling his head off)  
Naruto: oh. wait a min-AHHHHHH!!!  
Sakura: what a bunch of morons…..sasuke's screaming is a first..sadly.

(the boys stop running around like little kids)  
DO DO DOO!  
(Sakura checks her cell)  
Sakura: ooh..an SMS from Shino. he says: "dude. tell them to stop screaming over one of my beetles. it gets annoying."  
(the guys stop)  
Sakura: THANK YOU.  
Sasuke: shoo! go away you stupid beetle. (fails at swatting beetle. yes, he's quite OOC in this chap…OOPS! XD)  
Sakura: uhh… (sweatdrop)

Naruto: I'M BOREDDD. AGAIN!  
Sakura: SHUT. THE HELL. UP!!! I don't' care if you're bored!  
Naruto: BUT..BUT… (fake tear)  
Sakura: SHUT IT.  
Naruto; fine…. (pouts like a little kid)  
Sasuke: how immature…  
Sakura: you two are the ones who are immature!

Ino: hey guys!! we brought brownies and cookies!!!  
Shikamaru: more like fail brownies. they're all broken.  
Ino: SHUDDUP SHIKA!  
Choji: I would've ate them, but Ino threatened to kill me.

Kiba: we brought sprite…and "muffins". they look more like brownies though…  
Hinata: they didn't have muffin pans unfortunately…  
Shikamaru: THEIR MUFFINS LOOK MORE LIKE BROWNIES THAN OURS, INO!  
Ino: SHUT UP. I BLAME THE OVEN!  
Choji: we never did use that spray on oil…  
Shikamaru: AHA. I totally knew that.  
Ino: SO IT IS YOUR FAULT.  
Shikamaru: no it wasn't…I only brought the spray. I never said we had to use it.  
Ino: Shikamaru…. (death glare. twitches)

Sakura: is everyone here yet?  
Hinata: nope, we're still missing Neji-ni-san's team.  
Sasuke: right……

Lee: OH THE YOUTHFULNESS OF PICKNIKCIN!! (I know I spelled that wrong, but psht. he's waving around an empty picnic basket)  
Neji: would you shut up for once? (really exasperated)  
Tenten: I don't' know either of you. (runs towards the group) I've got stalkers!! run!

Naruto: EVERYONE'S HERE NOW!  
Sasuke: naw duh....  
Kiba: no shiz.  
Naruto: what did you guys bring??  
Neji: to simply put it, nothing. unless you count a picnic basket that lee bought on impulse so he could feel gay skipping in the fields swinging it around. otherwise, no.  
Tenten: I really wonder if I'm hanging with people around my age or babysitting a toddler in a teenage body…..  
Neji: you should be at least faking sympathy. like now.  
Shino: (makes a tear with finger) I feel so…touched. (frowns) sucks to be you, I guess.

(everyone starts eating their sandwiches)  
Ino: So….  
Choji: did anyone bring chips???  
Shikamaru: you're covered. (takes out some chips from nowhere)  
Choji: thanks! you're the best!  
(silence. Ino looks ticked off)  
Ino: SO…. (fails at trying to get the girls to talk)

Hinata: …….  
Tenten: (sighs) what did you want to say Ino?  
Sakura: just spill………stop going. SO…….at us.  
Ino: WHY ARE YOU PEOPLE SO QUIET, GOD DAMMIT?  
Neji: because we choose to be. (purposely slurps soda to get her more pissed)  
Ino: GAHHH!!! you people drive me insane!  
Shikamaru: that was the whole gist of it.  
Choji: I should've brought popcorn…again.  
Ino: YOU JUST HAD CHIPS!  
Choji: I'm still craving something salty…  
Sakura: SINCE WHEN DO GUYS CRAVE FOR FOOD? HOLY COW!  
Choji: me. =D  
everyone: O.O ……. O.o

(after lunch)  
Kiba: I feel like swimming….  
Akamaru: arf! (me too!)  
Sakura: seeing that there is nothing better to do, let's hit the pool!  
everyone else: eh? why not….it's warm out anyways.

101010101010101010101

and so, the teen ninjas packed up their belongings to return home to gather their pool equipment.

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I realize that this chap had a lot of tiny weird moments and not that much of a plot….(sighs) but I guess you can say I specialize in randomness. XD

-K-chan


	30. Chapter 30: Pool Pandemonium

Leaf Shinobi

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K-chan: YESS! 30TH CHAPTER IS UP! Thanks for all the uh…support you people have given thus far. There wasn't much. REVIEW OR SOMETHING! show me you're not dead.  
sasuke: I'm not dead.  
K-chan: NOT. THE. POINT. besides, you're just a victim of my awesomeness. which. has. faded. this. past. year. due. to . the. POTATO! (my prev. LA teach) SCREW YOU POTATO! (tis a fake name, not her actual name. if I did post the name, I'd possibly be doomed. :D)  
Sakura: anyways, she was gonna say that none of us belong to her. We are "owned"—man, I feel like an animal pet—by Kishimoto.

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Pool Pandemonium

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after the awkward, uneventful picnic, the adolescent ninja headed to the Konoha pool to cool off. To their surprise, the pool wasn't that crowded. Or to be more precise, almost all of the crowd left once they witnessed the big group enter. only one family of three remained. After much debate, they decided to start the day with Marco Polo.

And then came the traditional "NOT IT's" to determine who was "It." (A/N: SERIOUSLY. out of all names to choose, people chose IT. IT! how original…) Poor Shikamaru just happened to get it.

"shucks…I hate this game" he muttered as he slipped into the pool, cringing at the coldness of the water.

the rest of the ninja jumped and waded into the waters, hanging near the sides of the pool. There were only 2 rules in this game they had: don't get out of the pool, and no using any jutsu. Just be normally un-ninja-like.

thus, Shikamaru spent the next 2 minutes of his life saying "marco" and finding someone who said "polo". being the genius he was, the knew exactly what direction and where he was in the pool, enabling him to not have to go through the trouble of traveling along the walls.

to Naruto's luck, he was the next "it". "AW crud…"

"MARCO!"  
"polo," the others responded with a dull voice. it was gonna take a while for Naruto to find the,, being the idiot he was.  
"MARCO!"  
"polo..'  
"MAR-ow!" Naruto crashed into the wall. _which side of the pool and I touching? is it the long one or the short one? argh.._ he thought grumpily.

Sasuke sniggered. _dobe, _he thought. the others were suppressing their laughter. "tch," Neji rolled his eyes, chuckling at the idiot Naruto feeling (stop thinking you dirty minded readers! you can't FEEL a wall in that WAY) the wall like a blind person (no offense intended to the blind…).

"I'M GONNA FIND ONE OF YOU SOME DAY!" Naruto yelled, randomly lunging. He didn't quite get Kiba. Kiba immediately started swimming to the other end. "MARCO!"

"polooooooo…" Sasuke smirked. _this is just too easy,_ he then went over to Sakura. "I say we all quietly get out of the water and see how long this takes him…" Sakura nodded in agreement and began to spread word around the pool as Sasuke slowly got out.

in a few minute's time, everyone but Naruto was either sunbathing, saying "polo", or just being out of the water.

"WHERE THE HELL YOU PEOPLE!?!?" Naruto yelled after 10 minutes of pointlessly swimming around. Everyone who didn't' know him stared. "we came out of the water a LONGG time ago," Ino stated, sipping her Sprite (I DON'T OWN SPRITE. but I wished I did. yumm).

that was when Naruto angrily opened his eyes. "WHATI? YOU MEAN I'VE BEEN SWIMMING AROUND FOR **NOTHING!**" Neji closed his book. "yes, in simple terms," he said, calmly nodding his head. "YARGH!" Poor Naruto. =D

"but that's besides the point," Sasuke muttered. "this is such a waste of time," Shikamaru groaned. "I'm hungryyy," Choji muttered, with a mouthful of chips. "HOW THE HEL LCAN YOU BE HUNGRY IF YOU'RE EATING CHIPS?" Ino yelled. "what I meant was that I'm hungry for BBQ." Choji stated quite candidly. talk about weird. "you are really weird…" Ino sighed. Choji just grinned.

"now what are we going to do?" Shino murmured. "what are our options now? so far, this outing has been a waste of time," the rest of the shinobi appeared to be deep in thought.

Sakura then randomly said, "We should probably reapply sunscreen now," "Sakura, it's only been 20 minutes since we put it on," "…….humph.."

"nice try though, my blooming Sakura!!" lee yelled with all his heart. He, as usual, was promptly shut up by a wonderful slap upside the head. Sakura just scowled with all her hatred towards him.

"But seriously!!" Sakura randomly persisted. "you people are gonna get sunburned and eventually get skin cancer. I mean, missions are kind of a different story because we don't have enough room to bring sunscreen." Everyone including shikamaru just stared at her. Eventually, Sakura threw a hissy fit. "IF YOU PEOPLE DIE FROM BASAL OR SQUAMOUS CELL SKIN CANCER, YOU'LL BE LUCKY! I HOPE YOU PEOPLE GET MELANOMA!" and then she stormed off to the bathroom.

"ok…" O.O

"LET'S HAVE A SWIMMING RACE!" lee yelled with youthful (cough cough) enthusiasm. "fine…" shino muttered. Hinata nodded in agreement. "well, boys only for now, because we're a LOT faster than you chicks." Naruto said. "EXCUSE ME? I CAN SWIM FASTER THAN YOU LOSERS ANY TIME, ANY DAY, YOU SEXIST PIGS!!" tenten yelled. "YOU'RE ON!"

Thus the guys competed against tenten while hinata was engrossed in New Moon and Ino was sleeping and sunbathing with an issue of _seventeen _on the seat at the same time.

Tenten won again and again. Neji didn't bother. After 2 laps he got out and just continued to read his book. Lee however, kept going and going and going as the guys one by one got out of the pool. After about 20 laps, tenten gave up from pure exhaustion. Meanwhile lee did his 10 "victory" laps. He would've made it to the Olympics.

"He's insane," tenten commented, wearily watching lee swim in a frenzy. By that time, the other pool goers had already left. The big group of adolescent shinobi remained. At that time, sakura finally calmed down enough to come out of the bathroom.

At the same time, Ino woke up only to find that her whole skin felt as though it were on fire. "AUGH!!" she screamed jumping up. "I'M RED!"

Once again, sakura started ranting again about skin cancer and melanoma.

"I WOULDN'T BE SURPRISED IF YOU WEREN'T KIA. YOU WOULD'VE DIED FROM SKIN CANCER, FOR KAMI'S SAKE!"

"it's just a sunburn,"

"WHICH ADDS UP TO ANOTHER, AND ANOTHER, AND—"

"ok, OK! I get the friggin point, just chill…"

"why don't we play pool volleyball?" tenten suggested, recovering from her swimming marathon. "AW, but that's such a prissy sport," naruto groaned. That immediately earned him a spiked ball to the head from tenten. He also got an inflating lump on his head. "ow…ok, fine…"

Hinata and tenten clumsily set up the net that the pool provided. It was a fairly old one, considering all the mold that grew on the string of the net.

The teams were: Tenten, Neji, Shino, Sakura, Kiba, and Lee; and Hinata, Naruto, Sasuke, Shikamaru, Choji, and Ino. Tenten served the ball HIGH up. Shikamaru unenthusiastically bumped it, Ino setting it, and then Sasuke spiked it. Didn't go so well. It hit the net and rebounded onto their side.

"NOOOO!!" ino yelled. Meanwhile, sakura and tenten did their victory dance. After team tenten scored a few points, they lost the ball to hinata's team.

Hinata served it, receiving a quick return from an overly enthused lee. Apparently, the return from Lee knocked Naruto straight on the head. Naruto fainted. There was a collective silence.

"NARUTO!! YOU IDIOT!" sakura yelled from the other end of the court. Sasuke apprehensively attempted to wake up his so called "rival". Naruto was out cold. Or warm, since it was a sunny day. Sasuke and Neji dragged him out, and plopped him onto one of the lounge chairs.

"now what? Lee just HAD to ruin this by knocking out a player…" tenten whined. Then Ino suggested they play the Color game. They stuck (or more precisely forced) Choji onto an inner tube. Ino chose a color (indigo) and then told Choji to guess.

"uh…teal?"  
"no." SPLASH  
"green?"  
"NOPE." Splash

"magenta?"  
"nuh uh." Splash  
"purple!"  
"closer.." splash  
"lavender?"  
"further." Splash  
"clue??"  
"used for dying jeans," double-splash.  
"INDIGO!"

"yes." Ino evilly flipped him over.

Choji chose Kiba to be his victim. He thought of the color lime green.

"blue?"  
"NO." splash (for choji, more like tidal wave, lol)  
"brown?"  
"nope," splash

"black?"  
"no!" splash  
"pink?"  
"er, no." splash  
"yellow?"  
"nope!" splash  
"gimme a hint,"  
"it's neon," double-splash  
"electric blue?"  
"add some yellow," splash  
"electric purple?"  
"how'd you get that?" SPLASH  
"I dunno….i don't know my colors,"  
"HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW YOUR COLORS?"  
"I just don't?? or to be specific, what combinations make what color…"  
'that's sad.."  
"I know,"

"ok, to heck with this," Shikamaru grumbled. "it's getting late," Sasuke noted, looking off in the distance. "WATER FIGHT!" Naruto yelled, suddenly revived.

the group kept on splashing each other until the dusk came upon them. The old janitor yelled, "KIDS! it's getting dark—pool's closing!" There was a collective "AWW…"

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VOILA! it's done! sorry about the delay. Next chapter will probably be out around October because of school. don't' we all dread it?

-K-chan


	31. Chapter 31: Teen Drama Much?

Leaf Shinobi  
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Teen Drama Much?

Wowwie. Haven't updated in ages…. O.o sorry la! I no own Naruto. FEH.

Another hot summer day in Konoha. Oh joy! And as usual, Team 7 was B-O-R-E-D.

"Should we make another episode?" Sakura asked drearily. She messed around with her short pink hair as she looked out the window.

"I don't want to," Sasuke grumbled, in a sucky mood as usual. "We have nothing to show." _And I need to be planning for the surprise thing I have to do, gah._

With eyes half closed, Naruto suggested that they let the viewers Q & A them. "IT'LL BE INTERESTING!"

"What if there are questions you don't want to answer? THEN WHAT, SMART ONE?" sakura fumed.

"I dunno." The blonde admitted. "WE ANSWER THEM ANYWAYS!"

Sasuke put on his "WTF" face. "hell no. What if it's blackmail? Would you still answer them?" the raven haired boy rolled his eyes. _BAKA…_

The hyperactive kid was silent and was sulking a bit.

Sakura sighed loudly. "Ok, fine…we'll answer the….NORMAL ones."

"YESS!"

The Uchiha groaned. "Well then, I'm out…you guys can go ask for something to do. I'mma go find Shikamaru. At least he isn't so…bothersome." _RUN RUN RUN!_

Jaws dropped. Sasuke was ditching his team for lazy Shikamaru (I'm not hating on Shika, but that's seriously how he is a lot)?

Sasuke walked out the door. Sakura sighed. "I don't know what's up with him…mo."

"I guess we're not gonna do an episode…" Naruto pouted.

"NOT. THE. POINT!" Sakura screamed.

Instinctively, Naruto cringed, expecting to get beat up as usual. But it didn't happen.

"Eh?" He turned around to see Sakura half crying on the sofa. "Sakura-chan…are you ok?"

"Of course not!" she sobbed. "Sasuke doesn't even talk to us anymore! ARE YOU BLIND?"

The blonde scratched his head. "Doncha mean deaf?"

Sakura rolled her eyes. She wiped away her tears and said with resolve: "Well, we're gonna go find out what the hell he's doing at Shikamaru's. You coming?"

Without waiting for an answer, she dragged her old friend out of the door.

Walking up to Shikamaru's front door, sakura basically bashed the door down.

"Shikamaru! Sakura just killed our front door!" Yoshino Nara screamed.

In the living room, Shikamaru groaned. "Maaa! So troublesome…" he grumbled. In the meantime, Sasuke began to hide the project they were working on, aka a surprise for everyone. Leave it to the silent guys to do the surprising.

However, there was no need for Shikamaru to walk to the door. Sakura came barging in just as Shikamaru used his shadow technique to stop sakura from rampaging. He quickly stood in front of where sasuke was kneeling, trying to cram the surprise plan into the cabinet. _Screw this stupid cabinet,_ Sasuke fumed silently. _THERE'S NO GOD DAMN ROOM IN HERE FOR A MEASLY PIECE OF PAPER!_

"WHAT THE—WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?" the pink haired girl screamed.

"Sakura-chan! I think we have the wrong idea—"  
"ANSWER ME!"

Sasuke stealthily closed to cabinet door (after giving up on trying to salvage the project, he just crammed it in ungracefully) and stood up.

"Hey," Sasuke nodded, totally ignoring Sakura's current temperament.

"oh, so NOW you're being talkative?" Sakura hissed. "Shikamaru, let me at him!"

"Uh, hell no. this house already witnesses enough destruction," the Nara muttered.

"I HEARD THAT!" Yoshino yelled from the kitchen.

Shikamaru rolled his eyes. "Ok, just chill it. You wanna know, I'll tell you."

With that statement said, Sasuke immediately glared at Shikamaru, but then he realized that the genius probably had a good excuse.

"Tsunade wanted us to create something for the festival this month, and we have no idea how to pull off what she wants," the genius lied, hoping Sakura wasn't on one of her probing, suspicious days.

"And what does she want?" sakura inquired, eyes narrowing. "you know I could probably worm you guys a way out of this," smirking, she crossed her arms over her chest.

Shikamaru internally slapped his head. _This girl…she's too much. How does Sasuke stand her?_  
"confidential for the surprise of the village," he finally stated. This was partially true. The friends that would be surprised were, well, no duh, from this village.  
"As much as you do wanna know, we can't let you know,"

Sakura scowled. She looked at Sasuke and asked, "Is that true?"

"Yup." He replied, keeping his answer to the minimum. "We're working on the draft, but it's probably a failure."

"Right." Sakura said. "Well then, I'll go leave you guys to your…uh, duties, and I'mma go find some free people,"

Kinda hard to believe that Naruto just stood and watched the whole time, eh? Well he wasn't. He was trying to see what sasuke was stuffing the the cabinet. Sakura just passed off his weird attempts to peek as his usual behavior. Meanwhile, Sasuke silently threw some marbles and other things at the blonde.

Sakura walked out of the doorway while apologizing profusely to Yoshino. "Gomenasai Nara-san, I got…carried away…I'll pay for a new door."

Yoshino eyed the teenager and nodded. "That'll do." _Kids these days…you can't understand them._

In the Yamanaka household, Ino was trying to shut Choji up.

"FOR THE LAST TIME, URUSEI!" she screamed. "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU TODAY, MAN?"

In the corner, Choji was in a fetal position and half crying. "THE CHIPS ARE GONEEE!"

"Eh?" Ino smirked. "Choji,"

"Hm?"

"Did you take your meds today?"

"What meds?" Sakura inquired, letting herself into her friend's house. "Since when was he clinically insane?"

"She's joking," Choji replied. "I'm still depressed over the chips."

Sakura's face only registered confusement. "EH?"

"Konohamaru came in…to Choji's place and raided the chips. That pissed Choji off, but then thing problem was, the store was ALSO out of chips, and in Choji's world, that means the world is ending," Ino recounted bluntly.

"MY BARBEQUE CHIPS!"

"WHYYYY?" Kiba yelled, holding his fist up to the sky.

Hana rolled her eyes. "Lil' bro, Akamaru WILL come back. Stop freaking out,"

"But…but what if he's dead?" he asked with puppy dog eyes.

"Oh to heck with you," Hana retorted with a snort. "Tell mom I'm going back to work. Ja!"

"Kiba…I really d-don't think that you should be t-this f-freaked out," Hinata stated, obviously creeped out that her friend was in an angsty mood.

"Seriously, dude. Stop angsting. It's creepy." Shino ordered, looking around nonchalantly.

"But…AKAMARU'S LOSTTT!" Kiba wailed.

Shino sighed loudly. "Akamaru is a dog with a sharp nose, and a very smart personality. BESIDES, he's been missing for only 10 minutes, where in battle, you've 'lost' him for multiple hours,"

"Actually…it's been 10 days, shino." Hinata corrected.

"Does it make a difference? The number's still 10," the bug guy asked.

"GUESS WHAT GUYS?" a certain green spandex clad ninja asked.

He received bored looks. "OH COME ON YOU TWO!"

"Fine…what?" Tenten asked in a fake, curious tone. Neji just looked at the floor.

"I'M STILL SINGLE!" the two team mates face palmed themselves. _Really Lee?_

"Anything else?" Tenten muttered. _What the heck…_

"I'M…"

The two looked at him in anticipation of another usual statement. _PLEASE don't say "YOU GUYS ARE DATING!" Please no._

"…sad." The bowl head frowned. _WHAT?_

"EH?" Tenten yelped. "Since when is LEE sad?"

DUN DUN DUNN! Sorry guys, end of chap! Uh…also sorry for long wait, and total unrelatedness to my…basic plot? Aka webshow? Cuz I couldn't really think of anything worth putting in…so yeah.

SORRY SORRY SORRY

-K-chan


End file.
